Shit magazines, or, “fake news, for real”.

[Ferris]

How do shit magazines get away with headlines that are demonstrably false? I see these all the time at my grocery store, but the current batch were impressively egregious to the point where I took a photo because it was so mad. Some headlines you missed:

• Ross from Friends and Rachel from Friends had a 4 year affair
• Janice Someone cured her diabetes, healed her liver, lost 125lbs, saved $20,000 a year and all in 10 days
• Royal cretins crowned king and queen which is a real scoop because no one else had noticed

The last one even had sub headlines doubling down on the cover story "why Charles was bumped" etc. Now putting the ghoulish obsession with one inbred family of idiots to one side, how on earth do they get away with this? Surely within 30 seconds of reading the accompanying piece, it is all shown to be complete horseshit. So:

- how do they get away with printing utter fiction prominently on the cover of their magazine purporting to be news?
- who the fuck is buying this? Who says "wow, what a scoop!", buys the magazine, gets fooled and thinks "fool me twice, absolutely fine by me".



This stuff does real damage to the credibility of the press as a whole, and it has baffled me for a few years now. Who's allowing this? And how does this enterprise function? Is it dressed up as 'obviously not that, but can you imagine!' inside the actual magazine?

I read a piece a few years back that argued David Pecker and the national inquirer were a huge part of trump's election victory, because having him on the cover of these rags as middle America stood queuing to pay for groceries gave him a huge signal boost over other candidates. It all seems mad to me and I'd appreciate any insight into this.

[the]

I wish there was a magazine like this called 900% TOSS. Every page would be meticulously laid out like one of these, with the same pictures, but every single text character of the content has been search-&-replaced with the letter F

[Captain Z]

I'm more troubled by things being priced at 1.17 and 1.77. Surely two of the most inconvenient amounts possible if you're dealing in cash.

[Ferris]

I'm more troubled by things being priced at 1.17 and 1.77. Surely two of the most inconvenient amounts possible if you're dealing in cash.

Ontario sales tax is 13% and prices are given without tax. $1.77 is $2 with tax, you just have to sort of know.

Don't let that distract from the fact a magazine printed "QUEEN ENDS HER 68 YEAR REIGN!" on the front cover and everyone seems to be absolutely fine with it. How can this happen? It's like printing "corona virus absolutely sorted" on the cover - there's no way of saying it was fanciful fiction, it is being spun specifically and deliberately as news. It's mad.

How does this happen?! How can it be allowed?! I remember the daily sport and take a break had similarly bullshit stuff in it - is there a disclaimer that says "don't worry this is a load of old shit" on there somewhere?

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

I used to buy and enjoy Weekly World News all the time, so I would guess the people who buy these are the mumsnet versions of me.

[Ferris]

I used to buy and enjoy Weekly World News all the time, so I would guess the people who buy these are the mumsnet versions of me.

You're my way in to this subculture.

I don't know the publication in question, but is there a disclaimer that says "for entertainment purposes only" or something?

[Dewt]

I was happy to see this one because it reminded me of the classic internet fiction The Fall of the Site of Marsha.

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

You're my way in to this subculture.

I don't know the publication in question, but is there a disclaimer that says "for entertainment purposes only" or something?

As far as I know they never broke character or conceded that what they were reporting was not fact, but I doubt many people read it closely enough to notice a small disclaimer on the last page or whatnot. Probably protected more by the unlikelihood of Hilary Clinton suing them and having to prove in a court filing that she had not, in fact, had an affair with an alien ambassador named P'Lod.

Did they not carry Weekly World News outside of the US? It was great.

[solidified gruel merchant]

Those coffee crisp bars look nice enough to entice me to comment..

[Brian Freeze]

Ontario sales tax is 13% and prices are given without tax. $1.77 is $2 with tax, you just have to sort of know.

Does this mean that Smarties are $1.13 then? Nearly as bad as $1.77, if not worse.

[holyzombiejesus]

Sadness in his eyes

I used to take photos of these front covers. It's so weird thinking of people buying them so they can read about a dog being raped or a "gentleman rapist". Picture my Aunty Carol curled up on the sofa, hurriedly flicking through the pages, licking her finger so she can turn them quicker until she gets to her favourite story about the woman who had lips made out of her vagina.

[Bazooka]

The juxtaposition level of the magazine title with the rape story story is bombastic.

[idunnosomename]

Give the dog a bone

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

My own mum was my ...what? I NEED TO KNOW!

[Bently Sheds]

Someone brings that sort of magazine into work. I saw one with the headline "Mum put my baby in the freezer. I found her behind a meat pie." - which is one of the best magazine headlines you could ask for.

[Gurke and Hare]

Love It! is the best.



Love It!

TakeAShite on Twitter does a good job of documenting this nonsense.

[holyzombiejesus]

TakeAShite on Twitter does a good job of documenting this nonsense.

I hated that. Thought it might be similar to the great takeaweirdbreak site that used to compile the front pages but that twitter thing seemed to spend a lot of time sneering at the (albeit shitty) household hints and decoration ideas that poor/ old people sent in. Their comments were unfunny too. I mean, you don't need a comment when you have something like this:

[Pseudopath]

Oh well...that's life! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[pigamus]

Laughing hysterically at this, I don't know why

[Ferris]

I am still baffled by all of this. There must be hundreds of these magazines.

[pigamus]

Whenever I read a book about serial killers or whatever, I always think, "Only a bloke would want to read this gruesome shit". But that's not actually true, is it? It's just marketed differently to women.

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

Don't they get away with it on the grounds of it being entertainment rather than news? I imagine they can pass it off as fan-fiction, like what Fox News does.

What I was to know is, why is grocery shopping so expensive in Canada? Went to the Canadian equivalent of Lidl in Montreal, bought some bread, milk and some potato chips, barely had any change left from $15. No idea how people find the cash to splurge on glossy mags too.

[ollyboro]

To the side of your mag rack, you appear to have a promo end full of "Social Tea Biscuits". Are we talking Soggy Cracker here, or what? Are a large percentage of your clientele from the military?

[ollyboro]

I've just googled Soggy Cracker and it turns out I've had the rules wrong all these years. I thought it was the person who shoots LAST who has to eat the spunk covered cracker. It appears it's the one who produces the LEAST amount of jizz who eats it. Obviously. Otherwise if everybody else has shot their wad, what would be the point in the guy yet to come  spunking on a cracker he's got to eat? Unless he really loves the stuff.

[BlodwynPig]

Is there a magazine called "Coronavirus Remedies" there?

[Ferris]

Don't they get away with it on the grounds of it being entertainment rather than news? I imagine they can pass it off as fan-fiction, like what Fox News does.

That's what I imagine as well, but at a certain point the specificity of what is being claimed on the outside has to go beyond parody law. How are they not sued into oblivion?

Is there a magazine called "Coronavirus Remedies" there?

No, that's just the untrue and dangerous claim they have plastered on the cover to shift units. Again, I'm amazed this is allowed and considered unremarkable.

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

Tell me more about Dr Mark Hymen's mate's liver ox.