What should you do with woodlice?

[Twit 2]

Another assault of greatness.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Great post.

By contrast here is a shit post. We see 1 or 2 woodlice here a day, but usually by the time we spot them they have already died. Are they climbing two floors of a building just to die? Like inverse chitin-clad lemmings?

[Kryton]

Imagine how different society would be if these lads were the size of horses whales. You could basically go on holiday with the family on them.

[thenoise]

My parents' dog loves to eat woodlice, licks 'em up and swallows 'em down. Mind you she does eat cow pats.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

My parents love to eat woodlice, lick 'em up and swallow 'em down.

Ah I didn't know you were from the North Lincolnshire area too?

[steve98]

I'm seeing wood-lice on cheese on toast (in my mind's restaurant). The trick is to grill your cheese till it's that claggy sort of consistency, gooey sort-of; and then sprinkle the wood-lice (which you've pre-killed with a pin) onto it; and serve. Or you could carefully set live lice inverted in the cheese, and serve them with their feet all madly wriggling (till the heat kills them).   

[ZoyzaSorris]

Of course if you absolutely must get rid of the inimitable isopods then I'd suggest breeding these and letting a few hundred loose in your house:

[Glebe]

There's a woodlice in my kitchen, what am ah gonna do?

[ZoyzaSorris]

See post above. Woodlouse eating spiders. Thousands of them.

[Replies From View]

Imagine how different society would be if these lads were the size of horses whales. You could basically go on holiday with the family on them.

If you are happy to go on holiday in some mouldy wood.

[Brian Freeze]

Interesting about the pink ones being the most abundant because I only saw/noticed my first ones last year.

[Hand Solo]

'Member those little red spider mites that would have their festivals on windowsills? What happened to them, eh? Eh?



Probably waiting for Peter Kay to bring them out of retirement.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Have you ever considered putting them up your arse?

[Sin Agog]

Years ago my half-sister ran to me crying and handed me a dead woodlouse.  She didn't call them woodlice- she called them "boodgies". Dunno why, probably just to pass the time, but I took her dead boodgie and plopped it into a tiny music box.  I then performed a resurrection ceremony which consisted of winding the music box up and letting it play Swan Lake a few times.  When I opened up the little matchstick box-sized compartment with the boodgie inside, fuck knows how but it was wriggling about all full of vim and vigour and spunk.  Sis still thoroughly believes in magic to this today.  She does now refer to them simply as woodlice, however.

[Cerys]

'Member those little red spider mites that would have their festivals on windowsills? What happened to them, eh? Eh?

When I was very small I called them 'red beauties'.  My mum has no memory of this, even though I'm pretty sure it was her idea.

[Hand Solo]

When I was very small I called them 'red beauties'.  My mum has no memory of this, even though I'm pretty sure it was her idea.

Remember watching a S&M documentary years ago where one bloke would pay a prozzie to stamp on his bollocks in stilettos, maybe your dad was into that?

[Cerys]

We'll probably never know.

[ZoyzaSorris]

Interesting about the pink ones being the most abundant because I only saw/noticed my first ones last year.

Sadly after trying to sound all grave and authoritative I actually remembered this wrong and these ones are actually the other tiny woodlouse you are likely to find (making six commonish species), the rosy woodlouse (the pygmy woodlouse is a similar size if not slightly smaller, but reddish brown rather than that lovely lurid shrimp pink). I think they have become more common in recent years but I'd have to find proof of that somewhere.

[ZoyzaSorris]

I was literally thinking about those mites the other day, used to be everywhere in my old junior school playground, I used to get annoyed at other kids squashing them being the earth child I was. Havent seen the like for many decades. Have they basically become extinct because like everything else in this collapsing world they are DEAD SOON or is it because I don't hang around junior school playgrounds as much as I used to?

[idunnosomename]

'Member those little red spider mites that would have their festivals on windowsills? What happened to them, eh? Eh?



Probably waiting for Peter Kay to bring them out of retirement.

absolutely the only creature i will mindlessly kill. sorry lads, you are tiny and i can spell rude words with you

[Hand Solo]

absolutely the only creature i will mindlessly kill. sorry lads, you are tiny and i can spell rude words with you

[Cerys]

absolutely the only creature i will mindlessly kill. sorry lads, you are tiny and i can spell rude words with you

You disgust me.

[steve98]

Sadly after trying to sound all grave and authoritative I actually remembered this wrong and these ones are actually the other tiny woodlouse you are likely to find (making six commonish species)

Ah for fuck's sake.