Plans for the weekend

[imitationleather]

Anyone else got that Friday feeling? I can't wait to spend 48 hours checked out from the rat race.

What are we planning, CaB?

I'm going to queue up outside a supermarket and when I get home wash my hands for what feels like an excessively long time. Then I'll be turning on the news and totally vegging out until Sunday night.

Love it.

[Butchers Blind]

Going out[nb]for essential shopping and daily exercise[/nb]

[Wonderful Butternut]

I'm going to travel 2.01km from my house for my excercise to flout the rules.

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Anyone else got that Friday feeling?

I don't even know what day it is anymore. I've got a bumper weekend which includes such highlights as disassembling my laptop to clean the fan, untangling a box of cables that's been sitting in the wardrobe for a decade, and playing on American Truck Simulator for 3+hours.

[Abnormal Palm]

Studio Ghibli on Netflix.

OLED telly.

Audeze headphones.

George T. Stagg.

Discounted Easter eggs.

Bad back.

Diabetes.

[Emma Raducanu]

I'm going to recreate Christian Bale's sex scene in American psycho by having a wank in front of the mirror.

[idunnosomename]

Studio Ghibli on Netflix.

OLED telly.

Audeze headphones.

George T. Stagg.

Discounted Easter eggs.

Bad back.

Diabetes.

Some Trevor Francis tracksuits from a mush in Shepherds Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush

[Captain Crunch]

untangling a box of cables that's been sitting in the wardrobe for a decade

14:50 – get box out of wardrobe

18:00 – rummage through the box, frown and sigh

20:25 – have a big jacket potato and the last of the orange tango

19:06 (Sunday) – put box back in wardrobe

[Huxleys Babkins]

I'm building a massive Ikea Pax wardrobe and almost certainly having a similarly sized row with my partner in the process.

I'll attempt to plan it all out in meticulous detail which she'll see as a sign of me not being enthusiastic about it. She'll moan that if she had to wait for me to do anything, we'd never get anything done.

So she'll start ripping everything open and getting stuck in and inevitably fucking something up so that we'll have to spend hours dismantling and redoing it properly. The main hope at this point is that she hasn't done any serious damage to anything that requires us to buy replacement parts because we really don't have the budget for it.

[Dex Sawash]

^ I like to use some glue to add a degree of peril upon disassembly after mistakes.

[Cuntbeaks]

Pulling the head right off it.

Fray Bentos.

[Cuntbeaks]

I'm building a massive Ikea Pax wardrobe and almost certainly having a similarly sized row with my partner in the process.

I'll attempt to plan it all out in meticulous detail which she'll see as a sign of me not being enthusiastic about it. She'll moan that if she had to wait for me to do anything, we'd never get anything done.

So she'll start ripping everything open and getting stuck in and inevitably fucking something up so that we'll have to spend hours dismantling and redoing it properly. The main hope at this point is that she hasn't done any serious damage to anything that requires us to buy replacement parts because we really don't have the budget for it.

Do it yourself and let her flick her bean instead.

[Buelligan]

I'm building a massive Ikea Pax wardrobe and almost certainly having a similarly sized row with my partner in the process.

I'll attempt to plan it all out in meticulous detail which she'll see as a sign of me not being enthusiastic about it. She'll moan that if she had to wait for me to do anything, we'd never get anything done.

So she'll start ripping everything open and getting stuck in and inevitably fucking something up so that we'll have to spend hours dismantling and redoing it properly. The main hope at this point is that she hasn't done any serious damage to anything that requires us to buy replacement parts because we really don't have the budget for it.

And people wonder why women like living alone.

[momatt]

Gonna drop acid I think.

Like a clumsy chemist.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I had some plans to do a few things, finish reading my book. Maybe update the firmware on my wii that's been in a box for years and play a bit of Okami. Maybe write a script that uses something like watson or some other natural language processing tool to extract film titles from walls of text. But then the 1/4oz of weed I ordered over the internet a week ago that I assumed I'd been bumped on fell through my letterbox so that might not happen.

[Gregory Torso]

Probably start making margaritas as soon as I wake up, do a bit of wailing, look out at the snot-sodden half-apocalypse happening in my area. Lean out the window and yell, "this is shiiiiiiiit!", watch a swarm of flies shoot out my neighbours fancy french doors like a black sneeze and settle over everything, buttering their bacterial filth efficiently over any surface that a child might touch.
Watch the bored security guard outside the supermarket trying to fight trolley ramming andrex anarchists. Supermarket trolleys are meant to nest, not fly freely along pavements trailing long bridal trains of thefted bog paper. YOU SHALL NOT PASS, grufts the guard to the flaming balrog roll. You shall not wipe excessive arse.  A fistful of dogshit scatters across his car windscreen.
Probably watch a lone skater at 'Alan's Skateboard Park', no trucks, no board, just standing there on the salt flats gnawing a hock of scotch-cured donkey meat.
Might join the red guard twitter patrol and snitch to the handclap stasi about who ain't applauding. 
Just another poor lost self-medicating self-haircutting soul lamenting the fact that i won't get to touch another human for months, the thrill of using a new toilet denied, the joy of exploring another's secrets, playing penultimate frisbee with the dogs in the park, shopping without discretion and at leisure. I used to dream of flying up the faces of sparkling mirrored buildings and now I just have nightmares that I'm in a lift with someone.

[Emotional Support Peacock]

On Friday night, Animal Crossing, Gardeners World and Gogglebox in front of the fire with some wine and steak or maybe a takeaway.

On Saturday after a family teleconference I'll do some gardening - probably mow both the front and back lawns which will mean I have to work out how to use the petrol mower we were gifted. Homemade pizza for dinner and a movie on the TV.

On Sunday it's supposed to be a scorcher, so have everything in for a barbecue and beers in the sun. Would be nice to have some company.

On Monday (I don't work on Mondays) I'll probably do some housework.

Not so dissimilar to most weekends to be honest.

[imitationleather]

Probably start making margaritas as soon as I wake up, do a bit of wailing, look out at the snot-sodden half-apocalypse happening in my area. Lean out the window and yell, "this is shiiiiiiiit!", watch a swarm of flies shoot out my neighbours fancy french doors like a black sneeze and settle over everything, buttering their bacterial filth efficiently over any surface that a child might touch.
Watch the bored security guard outside the supermarket trying to fight trolley ramming andrex anarchists. Supermarket trolleys are meant to nest, not fly freely along pavements trailing long bridal trains of thefted bog paper. YOU SHALL NOT PASS, grufts the guard to the flaming balrog roll. You shall not wipe excessive arse.  A fistful of dogshit scatters across his car windscreen.
Probably watch a lone skater at 'Alan's Skateboard Park', no trucks, no board, just standing there on the salt flats gnawing a hock of scotch-cured donkey meat.
Might join the red guard twitter patrol and snitch to the handclap stasi about who ain't applauding. 
Just another poor lost self-medicating self-haircutting soul lamenting the fact that i won't get to touch another human for months, the thrill of using a new toilet denied, the joy of exploring another's secrets, playing penultimate frisbee with the dogs in the park, shopping without discretion and at leisure. I used to dream of flying up the faces of sparkling mirrored buildings and now I just have nightmares that I'm in a lift with someone.

Ah, reminds me of the weekends I used to have when I was care-free and young.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Someone sent me a 'funny' whatsapp video about pubs and pints so I'm deffo going down the offie after my 2:30 web meeting.

[imitationleather]

I just finished for the week.

A wank, I think.

[imitationleather]

Gaaaah... I'm too nervous about the world ending to get a hard-on!

[Sebastian Cobb]

Gaaaah... I'm too nervous about the world ending to get a hard-on!

You need to be over that if you want to be like that preserved body they found of that guy belting one out as Pompeii fell.

[idunnosomename]

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/pompeii-man-ruins/

[Cuellar]

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

[rue the polywhirl]

I was planning to do a massive pub crawl from John O groats to Land's End with a big old hundred-strong troupe but because all the pubs are closed we'll probably have to stop off at all of the supermarkets instead.

[imitationleather]

I will be reporting these plans to the local constabularly.

[the midnight watch baboon]

Think and pray.


Also, something with the shed roof.

[Danger Man]

Gaaaah... I'm too nervous about the world ending to get a hard-on!

rock hard.....

[Head Gardener]

sorting old singles into some sort of order - football - poetry - punk - folk - whatever

[Steve Lampkins]

Remain Indoors (DEAD SOON)