Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue

[Gulftastic]

Watching afternoon TV ads during lockdown, there's one for guide dogs.

Every time I see it and the bloke says' someone goes blind every hour..' I have to add 'and he's getting pretty bloody sick of it.'

Is that from Jasper Carrot's insurance bit?

[kalowski]

I often have Geoff from LoG saying "yea, cherries! 'cos cherries are really small" rattling around in my head during conversations. I couldn't pinpoint what triggers it though.

And " I've got this gun ya know!" when I am being cajoled into doing something I don't really want to do. Obvs I don't shout that out loud. That's stays internal.

Ha, fucking brilliant. Someone in a meeting the other day mentioned some sort of sweet called a Mau Mau and I've had this scene in my head ever since, especially "cos cherries are really small"

[Tombola]

Mark's "Already, it's too late" when his hand is trapped under Sophie's bum crops up a lot.

At the moment, every conference call with enough people that I don't have to contribute, and there's an aching chasm waiting for someone to go off mute and respond to an open question.

[alan nagsworth]

Whenever anyone mentions petrol

"PETRAL?!"

[alan nagsworth]

Also whenever anyone is acting up in any way, being cheeky or wasteful or anything like that, I have to fight the urge to lean in like Kevin Eldon as the cleaner on Black Books and go

"Whatever am I going to do with you"

in that weird low mumble he does

[jobotic]

Not comedy and not right either. When the Butthole Surfers were on Snub TV I'm sure Paul Leary (?), holding a gun, said "don't point that camera at me, friend".

In my head it's become "It ain't your concern, friend" and I think that to an awful lot of questions. A facebook group for my town has just asked if anyone has any memories of a festival going back over the years...so tempted to post.

[bgmnts]

Lot's of Partridge, Bob Mortimer and The Office/Ricky Gervais podcast stuff in my head.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Twice I heard Simply The Best on the radio last week and Paul Baron quietly said "Simply The Breast" into my ear.

I can never hear Tina Turner without imagining Ralph from the Fast Show saying  'Do you like Tina Turner,...Ted?'

Even Limmy's 'Nutbush City Limits' dance-off hasn't usurped it.

Drugs-related issues always make the phrase 'he's turned tae the drugs' pop into my head.

https://youtu.be/ZtUmw_ZZqlM

[Yussef Dent]

I currently live near a Palmerston Road that I walk past about eight times a week, and every fucking time I see it my brain does the whole "Pitt The Elder...Lord Palmerston" thing now, to be the point that it's actively annoying.

The one in Sheffield? I sometimes work at the Medical School next to the Hallamshire and that road is on my route, and yep, my brain does that n'all!

[famethrowa]

Someone in a meeting the other day mentioned some sort of sweet called a Mau Mau

Any sight of foreign sweets is instantly identified as "Joy Joys, mit iodine" round our way.

[Jockice]

The one in Sheffield? I sometimes work at the Medical School next to the Hallamshire and that road is on my route, and yep, my brain does that n'all!

I live literally a minute's drive from that road and my brain has never done that. What a loser, eh?

[Gurke and Hare]

Watching afternoon TV ads during lockdown, there's one for guide dogs.

Every time I see it and the bloke says' someone goes blind every hour..' I have to add 'and he's getting pretty bloody sick of it.'

Is that from Jasper Carrot's insurance bit?

Isn't it just a generic ancient joke? I think I first heard it as "Every day, me and my dog go for a tramp in the woods and..."

[alan nagsworth]

It's not a comedy show, but it is a comedy video so it counts: This guy getting increasingly, hysterically excited about the fact it's 4:20, much to the fatigued vexation of his mother, has taken over my mind in a couple of ways. It's one of my favourite stupid little videos, his voice is so fucking funny.

Firstly whenever I look at a clock and see it's 4:20 I feel like I want to walk around getting massively worked up about it to anyone who will listen.

Secondly his mum's "okay, okay" hand gesturing has become my go-to for failing to diffuse any loud or heated situation. Twice a day when my cats are going apeshit at dinner time I'm always doing it.

[paruses]

[...]I've had this scene in my head ever since, especially "cos cherries are really small"[...]

I feel terrible that I missed off the best bit of it which is "aren't they?"

[Ferris]

I live literally a minute's drive from that road and my brain has never done that. What a loser, eh?

My excuse is it was round the back of the students union so any time I walked past I would have been drunk.

[alan nagsworth]

Ah these are coming to me thick and fast now, there's fucking loads of them.

Every time I'm cooking beans and suddenly think I might accidentally burn them

"HOMERCLES CARES NOT FOR BEANS"

[petril]

"you may have seen on the grown-up news"

and RED IS THE COLOUR OF THE APPLE SO FINE STOP. that whole song at every traffic light

[non capisco]

Harry Enfield yelling "SHUT IT! WILL..YOU...SHUT IT?!" at his dog from 'Down The Line' whenever the weekly fire alarm test goes off at work. It's either that or Alan Partridge saying "Fire! Fire! The fair's on fire!"

Mark Corrigan's "JLB Credit. Fuck off, please!" on a lot of occasions when my phone is ringing.

Another Partridge one, him singing the "Ooh, it gets dark!" bit from Wuthering Heights, on a lot of occasions when dusk falls.

[jobotic]

Oh get out, you nauseating adolescent

[chrispmartha]

'Not my fault, monkey bastard hands' from Dark Place if I drop or break something.

R&M small Bob's organ sketch pops up in my head a weirdly large amount of times.

In instant bull.

When a child is born bald...

https://youtu.be/HJ1ZWOchYQo

[alan nagsworth]

Harry Enfield yelling "SHUT IT! WILL..YOU...SHUT IT?!" at his dog from 'Down The Line' whenever the weekly fire alarm test goes off at work.

There's a woman on our street who's very obviously just got herself a new dog and has no idea that yelling at it only makes it more excitable. Being indoors every bastard day, I get to hear her very regularly trying to get the dog to chill out by matching its volume in an endless vicious circle. The temptation to go outside and do an Enfield at the pair of them is overwhelming.

[famethrowa]

I had to put on latex gloves in the car the other day, had to do the old "bit of extra purchase" routine, of course.

[DrGreggles]

Breakfast - the most important breakfast of the day.

[Fr.Bigley]

After a night out I also deliver in my best Tom thumb voice "well, we've had a lorra fun"

[Hand Solo]

After a night out I also deliver in my best Tom thumb voice "well, we've had a lorra fun"

Tom Fun? Hence his avid seeking of fun activities?

[Fr.Bigley]

Tom Fun? Hence his avid seeking of fun activities?

Tom fun indeed, typo aside I love his fun activities. Snouts and cakes for everyone.

[WestHill]

I think about Chris Rock's bit about 'where's the last place you wash with the soap?...and where's the first place the next person washes with the soap?' (to paraphrase) every time I take a shower.

[Gurke and Hare]

After a night out I also deliver in my best Tom thumb voice "well, we've had a lorra fun"

Every payday: "Is it giro day?"

[non capisco]

When someone is slow to reply to a work email I always hear Simon Quinlank from Fist Of Fun in my head bellowing "ANSWER ME!!!".

[Fr.Bigley]

Every payday: "Is it giro day?"

This tickled me, thought I was the only one!