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Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue

Started by Thomas, April 06, 2020, 09:37:14 AM

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kalowski

If anyone seems to be explaining something really obvious I say, "He was on The Last Resort with Jonathan Ross. Before that he was on Tonight with Jonathan Ross. It's Jonathan Ross!" From Steve Coogan's Live n Lewd video.

Bently Sheds

Whenever someone asks "What is this place?" in any kind of programme or film -  and it crops up a lot once you notice it - I always hear the SMASH alien's voice saying "IT. IS. CALLED. HUD.DERS.FIELD!" as a reply

Jockice

Quote from: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on April 06, 2020, 01:35:10 PM
From the Peep Show university episode I have Mark's "why am I walking into the jaws of death?" whenever I go into a 1:1 meeting at work

Thar episode was on Gold last night. They seem to be showing them from the start in sequence, two a night, at 11pm or afterwards. Except that they missed out the second episode of the first series (the Jez job interview one) which I found really annoying as it's one of my favourites.

Captain Z



Every time I encounter my tennis bag by the front door: "Ooh a head bag. Those are chock full of... head-y goodness".

SpiderChrist

Quote from: Cold Meat Platter on April 06, 2020, 01:27:24 PM
I have referred to our current situation as the 'popaclips'.

Yeah, "the four arse mans of the popaclips" is currently very often running around my brain.

Also : "Can I raise a practical question at this point?"

Cottonon

"...and there's nothing the law can do about it." from Brass Eye Crime (I think), usually appended to an internal decision to treat myself.

kalowski

Quote from: SpiderChrist on April 07, 2020, 10:16:30 AM
Also : "Can I raise a practical question at this point?"
Is a cracker and can defuse an argument quite well too.

chrispmartha

Quote from: SpiderChrist on April 07, 2020, 10:16:30 AM
Yeah, "the four arse mans of the popaclips" is currently very often running around my brain.

Also : "Can I raise a practical question at this point?"

Heres the clip

https://youtu.be/F-CtREQK75M

'Now the ironing lady has passed on'

:-)

petril



checkoutgirl

Quote from: Old Gold Tooth on April 06, 2020, 12:02:24 PM
Tim Key's "Bird it"

I thought he said Birdie but with an odd pronunciation so it sounds like Birdah.

checkoutgirl

Quote from: chrispmartha on April 06, 2020, 05:42:49 PM
I nearly crashed my car listening to the that call.

It was at least the tenth time Id heard it aswell.

The arsemens are coming!

You will burn in the fires of hell for the sins of buggery and bottom bizzness.

kalowski

Quote from: petrilTanaka on April 07, 2020, 05:27:34 PM
any, and I mean any, use of the word "justice"
Oh, absolutely, usually Louis Armstrong with the occasional Martin Sheen.

Gulftastic

Every time I'm asked 'What are you up to?', my first answer is always 'My ideal weight if I were 11 feet tall'.

It's my favourite 'Norm' bit from Cheers.


kalowski

Last one from me. I paraphrase this one, usually when someone asks me "What's that book about?" "About 350 pages"

Dylan did it best:
"What's this song about?"
"It's about 4 minutes."

Ferris

Shitloads of peep show ones.

Anytime someone mentions plumbing "fucking... water lego"

Another Mitchell and Webb based one. This could also be a crossover into 'Peters mad thoughts', but whenever anyone is doing any sort of innuendo based banter, I always have the urge to say 'shall I get my cock out?'.

https://youtu.be/wcBOX1JBcjQ

"Skip to the end!" - every time someone is telling me some boring story about their day.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Lemming on April 07, 2020, 06:44:32 AM


Anything of dubious quality is referred to as a "World Ranger Storm Buster IV".

'best wishes from all the lads on the Ark Royal' whenever anyone acknowledges their own birthday.




Gulftastic


DrGreggles

"No, a monetary deposit!"

People don't say 'deposit' enough, unfortunately.

petril

you know those spells where you just have to stay somewhere for a wee bit, because it's just not feasible to do anything else, but it's too long to just be dead time?

like you get home from work, get fed, but have to leave for something else in an hour?

or there's a tradesperson coming to sort something out at 10 and you have the day off, and they've phoned so you know they're coming?

those periods where it's not long enough to really start or do a thing, but too long to write off as a Wee Minute?

they are always an easy mistake for the council to make to me

shiftwork2


petril

the word psyche always enters my mind in the voice of the Polymorph intro from Red Dwarf

Gulftastic

Whenever Cairo is mentioned on the news, in my head I hear Rowley Birkin and do his weird high pitched noise.

Tikwid

"What's this? Milk?!?" from That Peter Kay Thing, every time without fail whenever I'm preparing cereal or tea or anything else that requires it