Author Topic: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue  (Read 24088 times)

The Mollusk

  • I was a hand grenade that never stopped exploding
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #360 on: August 12, 2020, 11:18:01 AM »
Another Simon Day one if someone does an accent - "can't do the accent" (was that the character who told tall tales?)

"Listen, maaan, I can make your beer ice cold, maaan!"

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #361 on: August 12, 2020, 12:51:39 PM »
"Get out m'house" - when someone tells me or shows me something underwhelming.

Another Simon Day one if someone does an accent - "can't do the accent" (was that the character who told tall tales?)

And could he do the acccent? Could he f-

phes

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Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #362 on: August 13, 2020, 08:42:39 PM »
Either strut your stuff or bog off has been an internal/external any time someone needs to stand up and be counted for about twenty five years now

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #363 on: August 29, 2020, 11:47:37 AM »
Any mention of 'U.H.T.' -> 'but there's no demand for that, 'cos it's shite'.

Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #364 on: August 29, 2020, 12:08:42 PM »
Not really comedy but I always say “thanks a lot Rachel! Thanks a lot YOU IDIOT” when my iPad doesn’t charge despite being plugged in, which occasionally happens for reasons unknown

https://youtu.be/jUQ_53sS-YY

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #365 on: August 29, 2020, 01:05:47 PM »
Any mention of 'U.H.T.' -> 'but there's no demand for that, 'cos it's shite'.


Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Living proof of everything wrong with the world
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #366 on: August 29, 2020, 08:17:51 PM »
When I go round to my parents' and my dad is hiding in his cave upstairs:

"Where is that elderly old man? Old maaan!"

Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #367 on: August 31, 2020, 02:34:08 PM »
Whenever something that's more than slightly surprising happens, particularly if driving at speed, my inner voice quotes from Spottiswoode when faced with the giant socialist weasel: "jeeeesuuus tittyfucking chriiiist!"

Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #368 on: September 02, 2020, 11:35:11 AM »
already mentioned, but someone in one of our slack channels asked 'what do people think about this new 'persistent memory' storage?' yesterday.

and like pavlov's dog, my brain went 'what do I think about persistent memory storage? i like it, i think it's good'

Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #369 on: September 02, 2020, 01:00:05 PM »
Any mention of 'U.H.T.' -> 'but there's no demand for that, 'cos it's shite'.

UHT is really popular in Poland to the point where most don't really like the taste of fresh milk, so my time over there (and with my ex who insisted on buying overpriced UHT from the Polish shops over here) had me thinking of that line a lot.

Fr.Bigley

  • Shall I boil this kettle dry?
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #370 on: September 03, 2020, 03:55:17 PM »
UHT is really popular in Poland to the point where most don't really like the taste of fresh milk, so my time over there (and with my ex who insisted on buying overpriced UHT from the Polish shops over here) had me thinking of that line a lot.

It's not supernatural, it's decades of not having a lot, people grow accustomed to the taste of something despite how shite it is. My grandad was mad on lunch tongue from growing up on it in Ireland in the 30's. Things become popular through ubiquity; I imagine that was because of that old Paul McCartney song.

Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #371 on: September 03, 2020, 03:59:32 PM »
It's not supernatural, it's decades of not having a lot, people grow accustomed to the taste of something despite how shite it is. My grandad was mad on lunch tongue from growing up on it in Ireland in the 30's. Things become popular through ubiquity; I imagine that was because of that old Paul McCartney song.

American “chocolate”

Fr.Bigley

  • Shall I boil this kettle dry?
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #372 on: September 03, 2020, 04:03:46 PM »
American “chocolate”

I think it was back in the USSR, but the american chocolate B-side with Barry White was grand.

Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #373 on: September 03, 2020, 04:36:42 PM »
Quote
Rum: You have a woman’s bottom, my Lady! I’ll wager that sweet round pair of peaches
has never been forced ‘twixt two splintered planks, to plug
a leak and save a ship!

Queen: Certainly hasn’t, and I’m quite pleased about it! Anyway,
what’s wrong with women’s bottoms?

It's the bold bit (or isn't, haven't, whatever)

famethrowa

  • mere rhetorical frippery
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #374 on: September 04, 2020, 12:21:12 AM »
It's the bold bit (or isn't, haven't, whatever)

I like to paraphrase Rum when any seagoing craft is mentioned, I've twisted it into "has that boat had seven sweaty seamen tossing in it?"

The Mollusk

  • I was a hand grenade that never stopped exploding
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #375 on: September 04, 2020, 10:06:54 AM »
My grandad was mad on lunch tongue from

I bet he was the dirty old bollocks

I bet he fucking was

Fr.Bigley

  • Shall I boil this kettle dry?
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #376 on: September 04, 2020, 11:31:45 AM »
I bet he was the dirty old bollocks

I bet he fucking was

You know it makes fucking sense sweetie.

kalowski

  • the Zone of Zero Funkativity
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #377 on: September 05, 2020, 03:25:19 PM »
"I bet he says 'ehnvelope', and 'larngerie', and eats sarndwiches on the settee!"

"No more buttered scones for me, mater, I'm orf to play the grand piano"

"Pardon me while I fly my aeroplane" and

"An gahp! An gahp in one's hoop!"

All said if anyone in my family gets a bit formal in their language (especially the fucking nine year old)

samadriel

  • Afro Gunsou wa Afro!

easytarget

  • five gas lighters for a pound
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #379 on: September 09, 2020, 05:26:56 AM »
After performing small, ineffective tidying up:
Quote from: 'eddie'
no one would ever know

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #380 on: September 16, 2020, 08:45:36 PM »
Not a comedy moment, but I remember a vending machine at school having an “out of order” sign, and some sixth formers vandalizing it to say “bang out of order” as if the vending machine had done something reprehensible and was switched off to think about what it had done.

Every time I see an “out of order” sign, I consider doing the same thing. Just saw one in a coffee shop and chuckled to myself at the memory.

The Mollusk

  • I was a hand grenade that never stopped exploding
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #381 on: September 20, 2020, 10:52:28 AM »
When myself or someone else comes up with a good suggestion or plan or idea, I often find myself thinking "NICELY PROPOSED, COXY!"

Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #382 on: September 20, 2020, 08:14:40 PM »
After performing small, ineffective tidying up:

Been using this one regularly for coming up for 30 years now, glad I'm not the only one. I generally use it for botched jobs that I've vaguely disguised the botchedness of.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #383 on: September 20, 2020, 11:42:52 PM »
When myself or someone else comes up with a good suggestion or plan or idea, I often find myself thinking "NICELY PROPOSED, COXY!"

I often pause at the sight of an escalating dispute, anticpating YOU FAT BASTARD before the gammon windmills spin up

non capisco

  • A ridiculous boy on a makeshift vehicle
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #384 on: September 21, 2020, 12:35:28 AM »
Another Chart Music Podcast one, due to a tiny moment in one of the episodes with Sarah Bee on where she's talking about 80s pop star mononyms, whenever I see or hear anything in a documentary where someone is listing names as examples (ie. "Milton, Keats, Yeats") I will now always hear the voice of Al Needham chipping in with "Bungle."

zomgmouse

  • I love carrots
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Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #385 on: September 21, 2020, 01:23:42 AM »
whenever I hear "local" X, I always say "local X for local people"

SpiderChrist

  • "the law of averages says you'll survive"
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #386 on: September 21, 2020, 11:40:18 AM »
If someone says "Good idea" I hear "OF COURSE IT'S A GOOD IDEA!" in King Otto's voice from that Python Fairy Tale sketch.

famethrowa

  • mere rhetorical frippery
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #387 on: September 21, 2020, 11:43:00 AM »
A couple of Simpsons ones I always use:

- "always with the magnets...."

- "this is the biggest ripoff since Webster!" (as said by Gary Coleman)

Chollis

  • Master of Codes
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #388 on: September 21, 2020, 12:13:43 PM »
it's menial work

Fr.Bigley

  • Shall I boil this kettle dry?
Re: Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue
« Reply #389 on: September 21, 2020, 12:14:27 PM »
seeing a blind person in the street.

".........OW DO YA SHAAAAAVE?"

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