Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 10:38:20 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Comedy moments that form part of your everyday inner monologue

Started by Thomas, April 06, 2020, 09:37:14 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

I'm watching A Few Good Men and as soon as "A Rob Reiner Film" came up on the screen I thought "My goo! My precious goo!"

Yussef Dent

It's accidental comedy but whenever I write something where I just feel a sentence is too long, I am always reminded of Orson Welles' Findus Frozen Peas advert recording:

"You don't know what I'm up against: because it's full of, of, of things that are only correct because they're grammatical but they're tough on the ear, you see; this is a very wearying one, it's unpleasant to read. Unrewarding"

famethrowa

Quote from: Yussef Dent on April 11, 2020, 02:06:55 AM
It's accidental comedy but whenever I write something where I just feel a sentence is too long, I am always reminded of Orson Welles' Findus Frozen Peas advert recording:

"You don't know what I'm up against: because it's full of, of, of things that are only correct because they're grammatical but they're tough on the ear, you see; this is a very wearying one, it's unpleasant to read. Unrewarding"

I don't get the opportunity very often, but when I've been in the supermarket and approached the beefburgers, I have to say "here under protest is beefburgers. Charlie Briggs chops up the finest ..... oh this is a lot of SHIT". Really brightens up my day. Also "crisp crumb coating", where applicable.

paruses

Quote from: Deyv on April 08, 2020, 12:44:21 AM
"Just a...tiny amount."

Is that from the Fast Show? "Click click, two frames". If so, you are not alone.

paruses

On the back of supporting Jockice's ill-advised Friend's slagging it reminded me that whenever I drive past a notable landmark I say "Look Kids, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament" a la National Lampoon's Eurpoean Vacation.

I also do it if I have to go round a roundabout twice - makes it worth it.

Gulftastic

Quote from: paruses on April 11, 2020, 08:02:50 AM
On the back of supporting Jockice's ill-advised Friend's slagging it reminded me that whenever I drive past a notable landmark I say "Look Kids, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament" a la National Lampoon's Eurpoean Vacation.

I also do it if I have to go round a roundabout twice - makes it worth it.

Bloody hell. Are you my mate Lee? He does exactly that.

Deyv

Quote from: paruses on April 11, 2020, 07:43:42 AM
Is that from the Fast Show? "Click click, two frames". If so, you are not alone.

It is indeed!

Attila

Quote from: paruses on April 11, 2020, 08:02:50 AM
On the back of supporting Jockice's ill-advised Friend's slagging it reminded me that whenever I drive past a notable landmark I say "Look Kids, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament" a la National Lampoon's Eurpoean Vacation.

I also do it if I have to go round a roundabout twice - makes it worth it.

Not only do I do this, but had a chance to say it years back when Mr Attila got us stuck in London looking for a parking space, and we had to wheel past them several times. (Sadly, it ceases to be funny after the second pass when you realise you are going to be late for the concert you've just flown 4000+ miles to see).

Phil_A

Quote from: Yussef Dent on April 11, 2020, 02:06:55 AM
It's accidental comedy but whenever I write something where I just feel a sentence is too long, I am always reminded of Orson Welles' Findus Frozen Peas advert recording:

"You don't know what I'm up against: because it's full of, of, of things that are only correct because they're grammatical but they're tough on the ear, you see; this is a very wearying one, it's unpleasant to read. Unrewarding"

My brain automatically goes into the Tom Baker Symphony recording outtakes whenever I have to delve into my kitchen cupboards.

"Wwwwelcome to the House Of Symphonyyyyy. Come in, dear - a caaan of ssssoup? We'll read the bible together, and you can put your satchel...in the CUBBUD"

https://youtu.be/BQeTIjD0T_4?t=400

dr beat

Quote from: DrGreggles on April 08, 2020, 04:57:39 PM
"No, a monetary deposit!"

People don't say 'deposit' enough, unfortunately.

Vic and Bob's The Weekenders isn't it?

From the same show, in our house a certain type of music regularly gets described as 'a bit Electric Russell'.  Last example was Hang Up Your Hang Ups by Herbie Hancock, slightly unfairly in my view.

beanheadmcginty

Every time I do the dishes: "It's lemon flavoured washing up liquid and guess what? It comes with a free Catherine wheel." (having just rewatched the Slade in Residence sketch, that isn't even exactly what Roy Wood says, but that's what I've ended up saying every time.)

Ferris

Quote from: beanheadmcginty on April 11, 2020, 04:09:41 PM
Every time I do the dishes: "It's lemon flavoured washing up liquid and guess what? It comes with a free Catherine wheel." (having just rewatched the Slade in Residence sketch, that isn't even exactly what Roy Wood says, but that's what I've ended up saying every time.)

"...but I had you going dint I!" whenever a shit windup has failed

And

"The best cuts" any time I'm purchasing meat.

popcorn

It isn't exactly a comedy line, but I always found Anakin Skywalker telling Obi Wan "You're holding me back! You're jealous of my power!" in Attack of the Clones inexplicably funny. I used it often during driving lessons.

DrGreggles

"And Leon's getting laaarger!"

I have no idea why I find that so funny, but it pops into my head all the time.

The climate crisis now means I have Dave Angel running my brain. I even told my son that the planet is "heating up like a great big cake" when he asked me what global warming was. Plus, every time I see a National Trust sign when out walking, I'm internally screaming at Shirley not to burn tyres.

jobotic

Quote from: dr beat on April 11, 2020, 01:50:02 PM
Vic and Bob's The Weekenders isn't it?

From the same show, in our house a certain type of music regularly gets described as 'a bit Electric Russell'.  Last example was Hang Up Your Hang Ups by Herbie Hancock, slightly unfairly in my view.
I always think that when I walk into a pub and a musician is setting up, except I get it wrong and imagine it's Electric Geoff,  Even though I know its wrong.

"Christ, it's Electric Geoff. Let's go somewhere else".

Watching Father Ted last night when Ted does his exaggerated laugh followed by a bemused look to the side when Polly the author makes her joke about Dostoevksy and all the lads.

greencalx

A Victoria Wood sketch where she's doing a survey on behalf of Hellman's mayonnaise has some increasingly confused pronunciations of "bona fide" in it, which leads to things like "futterly nona bidet" floating through my head.

It also has me contemplating nuclear holocaust whenever I'm see mayonnaise in the supermarket. 

Jockice


Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse


Quote from: jobotic on April 12, 2020, 02:15:31 PM

Watching Father Ted last night when Ted does his exaggerated laugh followed by a bemused look to the side when Polly the author makes her joke about Dostoevksy and all the lads.


Ferris

Yeah. Also "hand me my patching trowel, boy!" whenever someone passes me something.

famethrowa

Quote from: FerriswheelBueller on April 12, 2020, 07:45:24 PM
Yeah. Also "hand me my patching trowel, boy!" whenever someone passes me something.

I've used it very much myself, but formed as "hand me my xxxxx, boy", where xxxxx is some casually-suggested esoteric and/or expensive item.

Dewt

"Under the tutelage of Randy Tutelage" from this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x068o6Wtw4

I often paraphrase it, e.g. "under the patronage of Randy Patronage"

QDRPHNC

Can I just shock you?

Chop juice.

Squidbeak of the bumarse.

From Reeves and Mortimer's Driving School when I see someone trying impress a lady in a tv show:

"I earn upwards and in excess of 120 pounds a week and that's no word of a lie"

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

Any time I engage in really petty rule-breaking: "If I don't see it, it's not illegal!"

lipsink

Anytime I pick up Listerine I think of that noise Partridge makes when he's twisting the top off some Listerine and grinning at Sonia.

Gulftastic

From the Kamp Krusty episode of The Simpsons, anytime I read anything about someone who's surname is Black, I hear 'Mr Black' like the insert VO from the video they show the kids.

Found it on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ub7MkK-a0hU

Sebastian Cobb

Any mention of the possibility of being out in the dark or cold forces me to think 'WITH AN OWL'.

spaghetamine

Thanks to Cum Town I can no longer listen to any song without changing the lyrics to be about having sex with your dad