Author Topic: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?  (Read 24983 times)

Blue Jam

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Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« on: April 14, 2020, 12:01:44 AM »
Veering wildly between quite enjoying the time off work and feeling like I could cry with boredom. Also veering between being productive and wanting to sit around doing fuck-all.

Today: Got up early, did a couple of workouts, made some soda bread, cleared out the freezer, cleaned the kitchen, got some food shopping done, made a curry. Also had an overly long nap and felt really bad about it afterwards, watched too much crap telly, played on my Xbox for way too long and stared into space for quite a bit.

How are you all holding up then? How are you all staying sane (or not)?

Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2020, 12:04:10 AM »
all the remedies to stop going mental like, just getting out and having a good walk (with my knapsack on my back, valdaREEE) scuppered by the worry a cop will pull me over on the way to the park and taser me because i've just bought wine

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

  • Le corpse garlique of Hercule Poirot
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2020, 12:15:40 AM »
I feel like I should be doing a lot more with my free time since most of my usual activities have been cancelled.

chveik

  • I feel like swimmin' in rat piss
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2020, 12:17:47 AM »

Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2020, 12:28:13 AM »
Another 24 pack arrived from Amazon.  Helps keep me sane alongside a couple of video games

Really missing the pub though, and seeing mates face to face. And going for 5 hour wanders at the wrekend

Blue Jam

  • TAKE IT FROM ME, I LOVE YOU!
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2020, 12:32:49 AM »
all the remedies to stop going mental like, just getting out and having a good walk (with my knapsack on my back, valdaREEE) scuppered by the worry a cop will pull me over on the way to the park and taser me because i've just bought wine

Booze is officially an essential so you're grand. I have no idea how teetotallers are coping right now, unless they've got some other drugs to make the days go a bit faster.

I was initially a bit nervous about being outside without wearing trainers or carrying a shopping bag, but people in Embra seem to be behaving themselves so I've had nae bother. Would love to walk up Arthur's Seat or go for a walk on Portobello beach but I don't want to take the piss, I'll keep playing by the rules.

chveik

  • I feel like swimmin' in rat piss
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2020, 12:38:06 AM »
I don't want the lockdown to end.

Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2020, 01:05:17 AM »
I don't want the lockdown to end.

For personal selfish reasons; this too. Ireland seems to have a restrained version of the lockdown and getting a dog a year ago has probably proved to be a savior at this time and manage to get plenty social distancing walks in. No commute for work and away from the office which was leading me to a mental breakdown. Been mainly looking to avoid pubbing and the like recently.
Am extremely privileged and annoyingly so in this case and too scared to tell anyone so. Just saying that I am struggling by; but in a slightly more cheerful manner than most.
Oh also; avoiding walking close to people is something I always felt compelled to do in any case.

Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2020, 03:11:29 AM »
Mixed, being on furlough has made it chill as fuck for the time being, working from home wasn't necessarily bad but the alternating of occasional hard deadlines and fuck all direction was grinding me down.

Apartment's main downsides were a lack of sunlight and way too much traffic (bottleneck spot outside the door so tons of pointless beeping all the time), the days getting longer and fuck all cars has made it far more pleasant spot to be.

Signed up for a mentored course thing a few months ago that I delayed until April, it's been a pleasant distraction.

Got an exercise bike a few weeks back that's been great to just hop on when I don't know what to do.

Buncha drugs, shrooms twice, ket twice, ritalin, got some lsd and valium to dunk into this week; thinking of trying 2CB but it seems like a dumb time to give it a go

Live right beside a couple of very busy parks so my daily outings have been pretty good tbh

Played a couple of games but struggled to engage with any.

Also worked and am working on a few projects:
- built a bed
- close to exact replica of an old thing as a website (kinda the programming equivalent to doing a jigsaw puzzle...)
- bunch of electronic bits I had lying around unfinished
- music making app thing
- got a film development kit as a birthday gift so I'll learn that and do some for some friends
- got a synth I'm still figuring out that I'll do alongside the music app thing

The one thing I've been neglecting is making an effort to videochat friends, and I really should.
Have found it weird how some friends have totally trailed off since this thing started while I'm abruptly getting new messages from others I haven't heard from in years. I guess I've been doing the same, not totally sure what it is I want from people but it seems to be somewhat different to when I actually interacted with other humans.



Honestly if this whole thing had started in like November I'd've been largely fine with it, the biggest bummer is that it's definitely gonna eat up the summer. (And I'm probably going to totally fail to adapt afterwards from the inevitable depressive rut I sink into doing increasingly odd hobbie projects)

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2020, 03:38:41 AM »
I’ve been under lockdown and working from home for 5 weeks at this point. It’s been ok, I know we’re super lucky not to be impacted financially and working like a mad thing means I have no time for nervous introspection.

I’m enjoying being at home and seeing my son a lot more. If you do a 60hr week in an office, you essentially go home to sleep, then wake up and go back to work. At least now I’m here during the day. 2hrs of video games/music/telly in the evening then off to sleep.

It’s been alright. We have it a lot better than most though, so really can’t complain.

Kryton

  • Disregard the Constabulary
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2020, 04:42:51 AM »
Dunno. Sleeping a lot. Sporadic bursts of creativity but enveloped in a curtain of uncertainty.
Moments of 'fucking hell, just hurry up and get better' combined with feelings of boredom, obsessional gaming for distraction purposes. Drinking too much coffee /booze. Running out of both.
Reading the news a lot, but not as much - Just expecting a thousand or so people to die per day. Curve to be flattened. Carry on as normal???
Missing my family, friends.
Wondering what things are going to be like - when this all boils over. Culturally, economically. Will politics change?
Should I bother paying bills?
Body clock fucked.
Finding myself sweeping up a lot. Brushing up the little bits.
Youtube for tutorials.
Nipping out for a chekky walk.
Sleep.
Talking on the phone. Nice voices.
Eggs for breakfast or is it an early/late luncheon or mayhaps supper?
Might go to the shops for essentials?
But don't want some cunt to cough near me.
Sleep.
Breakfast at 5pm.
Etc...

Kryton

  • Disregard the Constabulary
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2020, 04:45:19 AM »


Considering getting a Bell Telephone unit.

Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #12 on: April 14, 2020, 09:33:31 AM »
Yeah

Gregory Torso

  • blood-spattered blossom
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #13 on: April 14, 2020, 09:35:49 AM »
Better than I was.

Went to the supermarket this morning at half past seven, barely anyone there. Wore a mask. Felt weird. Didn't say hello. Didn't follow instructions. Bought a shit load of gyoza dumplings, hoisin sauce and no-brand vodka.

All the crushes and fancies I had for any girls I work with have turned pale and brittle like nettles in a microwave. Can't even remember what it feels like to be stung.

Made a rota for each day that I haven't been following. Tried exercise. Two press ups and a fuck it.
Been writing a lot, trying to write my brain out of the maze.
From this week, I am no longer getting paid, but money isn't too bad if I don't look at it.

Streets outside are pure jigglytitties.
Bikers with their lids off and top down maverick cool dudes whizzing round and round screaming out skepta bars whatever, mumblerap police sirens. The family upstairs have turned into manta rays through inactivity and now they flop and bash their huge dry wing fins against the ceiling.
Mobility scooters with lawnmower engines customised to do 'a ton' before they hit the tesco ramps, flying through the defect morning, trailing screams of "fuck yeah babywipes".
It is as if nothing is happening.

Tried to get my hair tall, lush like Kramer, ended up a Costanza. Corona of fuzz around a bleeding kinder egg. Three foot tall. Living on wine gums and dandelions.

Have lost all need for a calendar, occasionally check clock to check that time hasn't completely stopped. Occasionally punch cock to check if it wants anything. Like a dung beetle half-arse-hoisting a ball of elephant shit over a molehill, I nudge my single enflamed testicle in an effort to inveigle some wan decrepit wormlike parasite of pleasure into making its shameful appearance, like charming a narcoleptic slowworm out from its stinking dirty pants basket.

GOOD TIMES

Dewt

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Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2020, 09:43:09 AM »
Bought a shit load of gyoza dumplings
These are an amazing freezer staple, aren't they? Waffley versatile.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #15 on: April 14, 2020, 09:49:24 AM »
I was stoned from thursday until monday and mostly watched films and eat twice as many meals as I usually do. No regrets.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #16 on: April 14, 2020, 09:58:11 AM »
These are an amazing freezer staple, aren't they? Waffley versatile.

Pray for me. Please send gyoza to housebound dumpling fiend!

imitationleather

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Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #17 on: April 14, 2020, 09:59:26 AM »
My ex used to make them. Fucking amazing.

Probably should have stayed with her just for the dumplings.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #18 on: April 14, 2020, 10:01:32 AM »
My ex used to make them. Fucking amazing.

Probably should have stayed with her just for the dumplings.

I can make them, but I don't have the ingredients.

Gregory Torso

  • blood-spattered blossom
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #19 on: April 14, 2020, 10:03:40 AM »
I used to them eat all the time in China. Fry them, bit of vinegar and soy sauce, or hoisin if you're a rebel like I. Home made jiaozi. Miss my wife's cooking dammit.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2020, 10:11:58 AM »
Quote
charming a narcoleptic slowworm out from its stinking dirty pants basket.

Reading stuff like this is helping me feel less fed up. Like a... like a....

Oh you know....



...Grief-harvesting sedentary joy parasite wretchedly recycling pain into fuel.

Cuellar

  • Taxes, they'll be lower...son
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2020, 10:19:30 AM »
Bored absolutely shitless yesterday. Was actually looking forward to having work to do today.

Bored shitless of work now though.

Twit 2

  • A soft voice whispers nothing.
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2020, 10:20:12 AM »
Loving the lockdown. Love inactivity, revel in boredom. I am soothed “as if resting outside of the universe”. My mental and physical health is tip-top. By rights I need to die as karmic reckoning, as I’m having a blast. My only routine is rolling joints and going off to big empty fields to smoke them. Eat lots of luxury food and shit it out in the morning. Bed time 3am, rise at 11am. Spend most of the pre-drugs walk part of the day sitting on the sofa, drinking coffee and looking at the tree in my garden. It’s fantastic.

Dewt

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Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #23 on: April 14, 2020, 10:28:21 AM »
I would be much happier if I could ever hope to have a garden

Fambo Number Mive

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Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #24 on: April 14, 2020, 10:31:46 AM »
I'm living by myself with a garden which helps.

VERY worried about members of my family for various reasons during the lockdown. Haven't seen them for months.

Can't do the one thing that has really helped my mental health as it involves using trains. It would really help me if I could get a train once a week to somewhere a few hours away and explore, but I know this won't be allowed again for ages. Sounds silly I know. Very worried about how public transport will cope.

Trying to learn sign language. Can't concentrate on reading.

Obeying the lockdown rules 100%.

Bit nervous about going for more than a 30 minute walk.

The news the past few days has upset me and made me worried about how long the lockdown will last.

A blackbird visited my garden this morning.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #25 on: April 14, 2020, 10:35:20 AM »
I would be much happier if I could ever hope to have a garden


Twit 2

  • A soft voice whispers nothing.
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #26 on: April 14, 2020, 10:36:16 AM »
Ignore the “what if you fell in a hole” brigade and get your arse out for a long walk. I’m doing 2 hours a day. Unless you live somewhere fairly built up. I can be in the absolute middle of nowhere in 10 mins, so I know I’m lucky.

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #27 on: April 14, 2020, 10:37:46 AM »
I'm designed to find ways to entertain myself.  Can even just close my eyes and conjure up lysergic imaginary worlds.  This lockdown should be a doddle for me.  Just work through some of my external HD, meditate, dance in the sun to j-pop and ye-ye (on headphones, I'm not a cock), lay down on the grass, and come in satisfied.  What I'm not enjoying is being shouted in my face and beaten up and broken-in like a wild mustang by a certain family member.  I absorb and smart from that shit for weeks, being a glacially slow processor, whereas they evidently process stuff by dumping it on people.  I'm reading a little, but otherwise taking in much less culture than I'd normally do.  Have just laid in bed for two days talking to no one, save for a brief, sweet visit from the cat. So, not as great as I'd like.

Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #28 on: April 14, 2020, 10:38:12 AM »
Worst thing about working from home is having to do daily reports to the top brass (due to lack of supervision), copied to HR etc.  This makes me feel under intense scrutiny like I'm constantly having to justify my job in ways that have always been unquestioned as I've had a manager acting as a shield.

Dewt

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Re: Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?
« Reply #29 on: April 14, 2020, 10:40:44 AM »

I'd go there and just find this:



And then I'd have to go to jail for murder

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