Fucking HELL I'm fed up: How are YOU doing?

[Puce Moment]

Getting very jittery that I might have to go into work if they reopen Unis prior to the summer. I mean, there is shitloads of stuff that I really need from my office including books and DVDs, plus some unwashed mugs. But they can get to fuck if it means I can stay cocooned at home.

[BlodwynPig]

Getting very jittery that I might have to go into work if they reopen Unis prior to the summer. I mean, there is shitloads of stuff that I really need from my office including books and DVDs, plus some unwashed mugs. But they can get to fuck if it means I can stay cocooned at home.

just don't go in, I'm not (because I won't have a job)

[Puce Moment]

just don't go in, I'm not (because I won't have a job)

That's pretty much what I am planning but belated exam boards and all that.

Be grateful. You could be trying to find a job during the blitz.

[Better Midlands]

Blue Jam, why 'werk' instead of 'work'? Is that a Scotland thing?

[ImmaculateClump]

I think that's more scouse when it's got 3 e's

[BlodwynPig]

That's pretty much what I am planning but belated exam boards and all that.

Be grateful. You could be trying to find a job during the blitz.

at least in the blitz, I'd know that my fellow beings would be eating roast rat and be happy to have access to roast rat - the collective spirit of roasting rat.

[Icehaven]

Is the logic not that you're leaving that place for a reason, and it's better their fault than yours?

Depends how you phrased it, but it could make you come across as potentially 'difficult' and at worst like a bit of a whinger.

[Blue Jam]

at least in the blitz, I'd know that my fellow beings would be eating roast rat and be happy to have access to roast rat - the collective spirit of roasting rat.

And you wouldn't have to queue outside Tesco only to finally get in and then, after staying 2m behind the dawdling shopper in front as you make your slow crawl towards the rat aisle, find that all the rat had already been panic-bought, along with all the sunflower oil and all the wooden skewers.

(good luck with the job hunt, Blodders x)

[Icehaven]

Whatever happens 'on the other side', I've seen once and for all the stupidity and callousness of my fellow citizens and I no longer care what happens to them. I expect it from the government, I expect it from our corporate taskmasters, I just didn't expect how many amoebae are slavishly nursing on the teat of NORMALCY.

Too bad this is only the beginning 😂😂😂

Totally agree. I have to try hard not to be too misanthropic at the best of times, but seeing so, so many stark displays of selfishness, inconsideration and downright sociopathy both in the media and in the flesh has made it all but impossible. The main thing I'll take away from this is that Mr. H and I need to go and live in a caravan in the woods with only a dozen cats and a loaded trebuchet for company. Or at the very least move a few miles out from the crawling fucking anthill of humanity we live in now.

[Captain Crunch]

the crawling fucking anthill of humanity

The new Tamworth slogan!

Sorry it's shit, I wonder how many are people are gagging for a move by now, I bet it's a lot. 

[Danger Man]

amoebae

One of the few fun things to come out of this is seeing CaB's resident Zen Confucian Shaolin Monk shit the bed and turn into a eugenicist when a nastier version of the flu comes along.

Hey man, we're all just waves on the ocean and life is the ying to death's tong so chill out dude!

[chveik]

I am more bothered by the laughing-crying emojis

[Cuellar]

CaB's resident Zen Confucian Shaolin Monk

Lol since when?! I've always associated him with violent immuno-scatological invective aimed mainly at cricketers.

[Danger Man]

Lol since when?! I've always associated him with violent immuno-scatological invective aimed mainly at cricketers.

The Boston Crab has posted a lot about Eastern Philosophy in General Bullshit.

[Abnormal Palm]

Yeah, I'm the ultimate Taoist.

I got the full spectrum in me!

From 😂 to 🤣

Glad you're enjoying the ride bro

[SpiderChrist]

Missus furloughed and more than likely to be made redundant.
Brother currently furloughed but told he has to go back on 15 June, working in London where all the cunts are.
Daughter currently furloughed from the school she works at but likely to have to go back in soon.
Working from home dealing with the fallout of the government's disastrous decision RE summer exams.
Hay fever gone mental and antihistamines not touching the sides.
Out of weed.

Oh yeah I'm fucking great, ta.

[BlodwynPig]

Totally agree. I have to try hard not to be too misanthropic at the best of times, but seeing so, so many stark displays of selfishness, inconsideration and downright sociopathy both in the media and in the flesh has made it all but impossible. The main thing I'll take away from this is that Mr. H and I need to go and live in a caravan in the woods with only a dozen cats and a loaded trebuchet for company. Or at the very least move a few miles out from the crawling fucking anthill of humanity we live in now.

you do this, but so does everyone else in Birmingham, essentially moving 1.5 million people into your caravan

[Ferris]

you do this, but so does everyone else in Birmingham, essentially moving 1.5 million people into your caravan

I'm eyeing up this island, Bond-villain style.

https://www.viewpoint.ca/cutsheet/201709346/1

[Dex Sawash]

I'm eyeing up this island, Bond-villain style.

https://www.viewpoint.ca/cutsheet/201709346/1

How many weeks does the water stay blue so it is an island?

[Ferris]

How many weeks does the water stay blue so it is an island?

Depends how often I piss into it. I'd suggest minimum 3 weeks

[BlodwynPig]

How is sewage handles on these islands? Septic tanks, dumping at sea, private treatment plant, pumped onshore?

[Ferris]

How is sewage handles on these islands? Septic tanks, dumping at sea, private treatment plant, pumped onshore?

Catapult

[Blinder Data]

Had a bad couple of days. Low moods.

The lack of options open to me was the thing. Go for a walk in my local park. Play Switch. Watch a film. Zoom friends. I'm bored of all these now...

It's like being in prison!!!

Could be related to turning 30 in a few days, I suppose...

[Sebastian Cobb]

My work has been involved in testing and approving then making (well sourcing the bits to make) visors kits to be sent to clinical staff, so I went in today to help box them up. It was great both from a bit of social contact and also just physical work.

Also definitely more useful than anything I've done professionally. That would be true if they got binned though tbh.

[Gregory Torso]

I was meant to go back to the post office on Monday. I went into panic mode. I puked up my morning coffee and called my boss and went proper Millers Crossing on him: "I need more time, look in your heart, I can't die out here in this Nottingham, like a dumb animal."
He gave me a week. That's a week to taper, and get sleeping patterns back into light and dark.

I don't want to go back to work, I feel like one of the horses at this year's Grand National, knowing that we're not running in some proud sagittate phalanx of grace and speed - we're just a tangled hill of broken and snapped bits of horse and jockey, burgermeat run off, being shovelled round the track by a fleet of self driving bulldozers. And the mayonnaise-blonde minor princesses in their quarantine suits, and the paedomilitary slurry captains arriving in by noncecopter, can lean down and pin tickets on the fetlocks and spines and high fiving deadwood palms of our dreamy-slow carcrash/carcassy heap as it passes by.

And when our necro pile of sacrificed weight trundles over the finish line, in two or three months time, they can all go and collect their undocumented sex adoptions and brown ops covid vaxxx cpr torso dummies and guaranteed cash prize winnings (remember when the fun stops, you stop) as Ladbrokes goes back online.

And at the stables, Dominic Cumming looks in distain at your body broken as a prison tattoo felch gang tag, sneers and goes back to his phone, a momentary flicker of thoroughbred simulacrum emotion lighting up his face as he breaks his high score on Talking Tom Eugenics 3, and then there is only the sound of a rifle being cocked and the cool circle OK of the muzzle against your temple

[Kryton]

I'm back in the category of struggling. Up to my neck in debts. If I didn't have a child I'd be more inclined to fuck off to another town/city and look for work, because there's only really minimum wage jobs here and job shortages / unemployment. But nope, trapped.

[Pingers]

Monday to Friday is spent trying not to ignore my kids and do stuff with them so they don't come out of this with attachment disorder or like Lionel Shriver's Kevin, and trying to ignore my kids so I can get work done. Consequently, every day at around 5.30 my brain seizes up and can only be unstuck by booze. Probably not very healthy.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I accidentally go twatted on gin last night and basically spent the day hiding.

[seepage]

mmm, definitely B > 1 last night, so just diet coke today I think

[thugler]

The monotony of it all is starting to make me feel a bit weird. God knows how people who are at risk and need to stay in for the whole year will be feeling. 24/7 childcare is not a great bunch of laughs either, some tension there on both sides being cooped up. Love not going into my shitty fucking job though, working from home permanently is a possibility now and that would be a load off. I feel like my bitterness/resentment at working in an office was as plain as day and not being there means I'm more relaxed and actually get more done anyway. I'm finding the main thing that helps me stay relatively cheerful is starting little projects or cooking new things, even doing chores and keeping busy tends to settle me down.