Author Topic: Captain Tom Moore  (Read 22762 times)

weekender

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Captain Tom Moore
« on: April 15, 2020, 06:15:12 PM »
This guy deserves his own thread.

He's 99 years old, served in World War 2, and last week he set out with a modest target of raising £1,000 to help the NHS by completing 100 laps of his Bedfordshire garden by Thursday this week using his walking frame (I think he's aiming to do 10 laps a day).

He's so far raised over £8m, which is fucking incredible.  Watch his response to raising £5m on the video in this BBC article:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-52290976

Here's the link to his donation page, should anyone feel inclined to donate:

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tomswalkforthenhs

Absorb the anus burn

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2020, 06:54:52 PM »
Amazing... Instant great oak from tiny acorn.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2020, 07:05:45 PM »
What a swizz. I ran a 10k last year and nobody gave me fuck all. This bloke trots about his garden and he’s raised enough to buy this massive pad just up the road;

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-90512141.html

Quote
But he’s not raised the money for himself, it’s for the NHS!

Exactly. The Nice House, Sorted.

Dewt

  • The Fun House Grand Prix
Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2020, 07:34:59 PM »
You can tell he's already been practicing walking up and down the lawn there, look at all those lines, state of it.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2020, 08:15:35 PM »
If he doesn't do the laps in time, does the NHS have to give all the money back?

Dewt

  • The Fun House Grand Prix
Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2020, 08:18:23 PM »
edit: removed stuff about his war rapes

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2020, 08:54:03 PM »
And to think other people died in their 50s, the useless sacks of shit. One lad even died aged 2.

Butchers Blind

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2020, 09:32:16 PM »
Amazing. A 99 year old man has to pace up and down his garden to get funds for the NHS. What a great country we live in.

imitationleather

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2020, 09:34:16 PM »
I'm a third of his age. If I do a third of the laps will I rake in the same figure? Will I even rack up a third of the amount of donations?

Will I fuck.

No doubt it's because of my total lack of war rapes.

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2020, 11:07:06 PM »
Can't believe the cheeky fuck spent the war attacking India instead of Germany, so he'll be getting none of my money.

Dewt

  • The Fun House Grand Prix
Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #10 on: April 16, 2020, 01:32:48 AM »
Can't believe the cheeky fuck spent the war attacking India instead of Germany, so he'll be getting none of my money.
He was question on that and gave a satisfactory answer. "Better pussy."

Jockice

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2020, 10:10:46 AM »
Fit for work. No doubt about it.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2020, 10:18:45 AM »
bet the old fucking cunt voted brexit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uncle TechTip

  • You won, get over it
Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2020, 10:25:31 AM »
It sickens me that people are prepared to shower money on this guy, but refuse to consider putting 1p on income tax or something to achieve the same effect. What does "NHS Charities Together" do with the money? Does it buy key medical equipment that we should be able to afford anyway?

BlodwynPig

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2020, 10:35:05 AM »
Reporter:

"How do you feel?"

"What is your emotion Captain?"

"Tell our viewers what it must be like?"

"Tom? Tom?"

"Captain Tom Moore there, dead"

Huw in the Studio:

"How do you feel?"

"What is your emotion, Reporter?"

"Tell our viewers what it must be like?"

"Reporter? Reporter?"

"Reporter Tom Reporter there, dead"

The BBC Breakfast sofa:

"How do you feel?"

etc

Cuntbeaks

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #15 on: April 16, 2020, 11:05:43 AM »
I'm confused as to why people think that a 100 year old man hobbling endlessly around a garden in order to fund the NHS is something worth celebrating.

It's a bit of a Scarfolk style horrorshow to be honest.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #16 on: April 16, 2020, 11:44:46 AM »
I FUCKING HATER THSI SHOWOFF CUNT IM GONNA BATTER HIM

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #17 on: April 16, 2020, 11:47:58 AM »
Soon change their tune when they find out about the Sri Lankan houseboy and frequent trips to Thailand

Twit 2

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #18 on: April 16, 2020, 11:56:08 AM »
Do laps into garden grave, cunt.

Cuntbeaks

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #19 on: April 16, 2020, 11:57:31 AM »
I would donate to a cause that saw Boris being endlessly buggered by a team of chemsexed porno studs.

Full irreversible prolapse at the one million mark, huzzah!!!

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2020, 11:58:06 AM »
If we all do 100 laps of our garden then the NHS will be properly funded by the end of the week. Get off your arses you lazy cunts.

imitationleather

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2020, 11:59:44 AM »
Bit out of order of him to flaunt his garden in my face.

Brundle-Fly

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2020, 12:09:54 PM »
Apparently, there have been claims on social media that he is actually Quaden Bayles in old man prosthetic makeup and he's walking on special stilts. FAKE!

icehaven

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #23 on: April 16, 2020, 12:10:14 PM »
Good on him and everything, but the first time I saw this on the news all I could think was "That's his garden?! It's bloody MASSIVE!" It's got several park benches strewn across it too, is it a care home or is that just his house? No wonder everyone thinks it's so great every time he walks round it, it must take him all day.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #24 on: April 16, 2020, 12:26:00 PM »
be funny if he fell over, broke his hip, and the pressure on the NHS is the straw that breaks the camel's back and every hospital in the country collapses haha silly old cunt

Thomas

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #25 on: April 16, 2020, 12:35:35 PM »
I'm confused as to why people think that a 100 year old man hobbling endlessly around a garden in order to fund the NHS is something worth celebrating.

It's a bit of a Scarfolk style horrorshow to be honest.

It is a lovely, heartwarming act in isolation (no pun etc.), but if you zoom out and look at what is actually happening here, in cold context, it does emphasise that the UK is fucking insane.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #26 on: April 16, 2020, 12:36:03 PM »
This is a nice gesture for a good cause but one of my facebook friends posted this and I'm not sure I really get it. Also why do these kinds of things always look like the person downloaded the 200x150px thumbnail and then scaled it up to work on?



"Dunno who did this artwork but wow" mate if I gave this to a client they wouldn't be saying wow
« Last Edit: April 16, 2020, 12:50:30 PM by El Unicornio, mang »

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #27 on: April 16, 2020, 12:38:43 PM »
Why is the Mexican bandit there to his left?

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #28 on: April 16, 2020, 12:44:54 PM »
People go on about Dean Koontz predicting covid-19. What they don't know is Gogol predicted the captain's fund-raising campaign, leading to an army of 90+year olds walking with zimmerframes around a velodrome while people (not millionaires) cry and throw money at them, like rappers at a strip club. Ironically it's this re-framing of a public health service as a charity dependent on individual donations that gives the Tories the chance to destroy it. Excellent Russian surrealism.


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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #29 on: April 16, 2020, 12:56:57 PM »
Everyone who works for the BBC is all like:



"We're good at ne-ews, we're good at ne-ews.." etc.  It'll be back to some sadsack knitting a replica of the Tamar Bridge next week.

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