Captain Tom Moore

[BlodwynPig]

lazy old cunt shills for big chocolate

https://twitter.com/CadburyUK/status/1317022906686279680

Cliched as fuck.

[El Unicornio, mang]

lazy old cunt shills for big chocolate

https://twitter.com/CadburyUK/status/1317022906686279680

This is clearly a stepping stone to the prized Werther's Original commercial contract. Sweet and creamy and uncommonly good.

[Hand Solo]

Sweet and creamy and uncommonly good.

[Cursus]

I see the Captain Tom Foundation are flogging off some of the awful tat they've been sent by members of the public:

[BlodwynPig]

I see the Captain Tom Foundation are flogging off some of the awful tat they've been sent by members of the public:

you are fucking kidding me. There must be a term for this phenomena. Greed Psychosis?

[idunnosomename]

nice to see a bit of boomer poetry again. the pandemic hasn't really caused very much. probably because it's the closest to hardship boomers have ever experienced and they're not happy about it

[machotrouts]

[Hand Solo]

When you know about his antics with the Indian street kids the lyrics take on even more sinister tone:

someone did a 'little' thing.
feel blown over
dicky hip
feel so sore
bones must ache
every quid they give
total rising

[JamesTC]

Captain Tom

The world's a better place today,
A little bit less horrid,
Cause someone did a 'little' thing,
In this time so torrid.

And we just feel blown over,
By the hero Captain Tom,
Who even with his dicky hip,
Walks on and on and on.

And people all around the world,
Know each step he takes,
Must really make him feel so sore,
And that his bones must ache.

And that with every quid they give,
Which keeps the total rising,
Proves that all us humans,
Can be lovely and surprising.

And we all choose to forget the bad,
Such as raping Indian boys,
But he still has the memories,
Which forever he enjoys.

[idunnosomename]

what a silly stupid cunt
old sir tom moore is
I want to kick him in the cock
and drown him in his piss

*shave and a haircut: two bits*

[Ferris]

The "Ripper of Rangoon" sanitized by poetry. So very poignant.

[Hand Solo]

Three cheers for Captain Moore,
He's the man we all adore,
He's walked on and on for the NHS,
To get us out of this horrid mess.
He fought the war so we'd be free,
And still fighting in his centenary.

He won't go down with Covid-19,
He'll kick it into the bin,
And a pre-teen boy of India,
will be forced to go down on him.
He's forcefully fucked a million boys,
Lubed with ghee or butter,
He's fucked his way through Mumbai slums,
And the Black Hole of Calcutta.
Jolly Tom with his roaring laugh,
Through his record-breaking rapes of wrath.
Still Indian parents tell naughty boys,
It is to bed they must run,
For if they fail to get their bottom there,
Captain Tom will come.
He's conned the NHS and the royals,
And nefarious politicians,
But he's fucked ethnic kids of every race,
In various positions.
Now he's in with those big three,
You could say he's scored a hat trick,
They'll protect the public from finding out,
Old Moore's looked up more brown stars than Patrick.

So three cheers for Captain Moore,
He's the man we all adore,
He's walked on and on for the NHS,
To get us out of this horrid mess.
He fought the war so we'd be free,
And still fighting in his centenary.

Anon

[idunnosomename]

State of this fucking old husk

https://twitter.com/BBCBreakfast/status/1323233645889380353?s=19

Daughter with a knife in his back too. Dystopian we have some old git rambling about the Battle of Britain on the BBC at this time of crisis

[SpiderChrist]

Fucking hell. Fucking HELL.

That is genuinely chilling. And genuinely A LOAD OF FUCKING BOLLOCKS too.

Comparing a global pandemic to a war is just bottom rung bullshit.

Jesus H Corbyn I hate this country. A nest of cunts.

[Butchers Blind]

Please die already. 100 is more than enough for any human.

[idunnosomename]

im also not entirely sure he knows what the battle of britain actually was

[Quote]

Let's get in our Spitfire's and shoot this virus down.

[JamesTC]

In my day we beat viruses with a stiff upper lip.

[Butchers Blind]

In Tom's day you had it buggered out of you, and that's the story he's sticking to.

[imitationleather]

Get that cunt doing laps of an icy car park.

[idunnosomename]

Thought it was worth transcribing

But I remember ... [unintelligible] had a very difficult time. and it was called THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN.

and

things were very bad

then

but we fought on and fought on, all the young people, and everyone put their shoulders to the wheel and we beat the Battle of Britain and the

whatever we're up against at the moment, we should do exactly the same. Because remember, we are BRITISH, and we always get through, we dee we don't get downhearted, and we will get on through whatever has happened to be thrown at us, and we shall WIN.

[frajer]

Thought it was worth transcribing

Sounds like Are Tom and Boris share a scriptwriter.

I mean, I saluted, of course.

[SpiderChrist]

I mean, I saluted, of course.

[BlodwynPig]

State of this fucking old husk

https://twitter.com/BBCBreakfast/status/1323233645889380353?s=19

Daughter with a knife in his back too. Dystopian we have some old git rambling about the Battle of Britain on the BBC at this time of crisis

He's ailing fast isn't he. Dementia probably caused by all the attention. Nodding dog daughter pulling the strings. Sickening. Public enquiry now.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Nodding dog daughter pulling the strings.

Has been the case from Day 1, congratulations for turning your frail doddering Dad into a revenue stream you bitch. We see you.

[idunnosomename]

hope when Hannah Ingram-Moore is 100 she walks around her space-garden to raise money for whatever fucking bullshit is about then

[Fambo Number Mive]

Captain Tom news from around the UK:

A Louth man has made a life-size carving of Captain Tom Moore to raise money for the NHS.

Simon Bogg, who is a chainsaw expert from Louth, took around 10 days to carve out a monument of the Second World War hero...

https://www.lincolnshirelive.co.uk/news/local-news/captain-tom-wood-carving-lincolnshire-4092160

Nottingham headquartered Warlord Games has raised £5,500 for NHS charities thanks to a new addition to its armoury.

One of it's latest pieces - a limited edition miniature modeled on the centenarian Captain Sir Thomas Moore - was designed and sold as a tribute to the NHS.

Each was sold for £5 with all the profits being donated to charity.

The expanding local business, which has just made the move to new headquarters in the city, sells miniature figures to people across the world...

https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/nottinghams-warlord-games-tribute-nhs-4660579

[idunnosomename]

so much good journalism from lincolnshire live

[JamesTC]

Christ, that is fucking scary.

[idunnosomename]

ironically it looks more like Chris Whitty