Captain Tom Moore

[Cuntbeaks]

I have it on good authority that this rancid old cunt is just back from a maternity ward in Liberia. He paid £186 to bugger as many "cunt-fresh" black babies as he could in a day.

Straight though customs on his return, no questions asked.

[idunnosomename]

brexit dividend

[Captain Z]

200 laps this time and the family might be able to afford Epstein's private island.

[BlodwynPig]

200 laps this time and the family might be able to afford Epstein's private island.

200 laps of Brands Hatch with LORD Lewis Hamilton, the car kitted out in red white and blue. Fawning nationalists wanking gold ingots into a fox fur basket live on BBC Breakfast.

[idunnosomename]

This shits gone on so long the cunts gonna get to 101 and we'll still be in tory lockdown

[Butchers Blind]

Hopefully he'll buy the farm before the lockdown ends and they'll be no public funeral.

[AliasTheCat]

https://twitter.com/hypsoline/status/1346938612387115009

[idunnosomename]

haha inspired

[Huxleys Babkins]

TOM'S GOT THE VID.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Sure has.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/coronavirus-captain-tom-admitted-hospital-testing-positive-171754984.html

[The Bumlord]

RIP Captain my Captain

Probably


Soon

[Phoenix Lazarus]

"PS, I shall be the well-paid chief executive of any charity I set up in his memory."

[JamesTC]

He'll survive and be back peddling tat on adverts for supermarkets in no time.

BUY OUR EASTER EGG BECAUSE CAPTAIN SIR TOM IS IN OUR ADVERT

[DrGreggles]

Doesn't he realise that the NHS is still underfunded?
Get out of bed and get walking, you lazy old cunt.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

His daughter's just registered his name at Companies House, then sped back to his bedside with a will for him to sign.

[brownjam]

More like Captain Tom No-Moore!

[iamcoop]

*Punches the air*

[brownjam]

Doesn't he realise that the NHS is still underfunded?
Get out of bed and get walking, you lazy old cunt.

He's hogging a bed in intensive care too. Selfish cunt, they should him throw him in the skip.

[BlodwynPig]

Robo-Grief Tom

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Just read the following comment on a Daily Mail article.

Upyabum, Manchester, United Kingdom, 6 minutes ago

Covid has no chance in the body of this great British hero

Yeah, don't you know his auto-immune system's hard as nails!?  It can have any virus!

[George Oscar Bluth II]

100 year old man with the 'vid, the prognosis is not good. How is grifter daughter feeling about the ol holiday to Barbados now.

Imagine the state of the discourse if he goes though, fucking hell.

[Sebastian Cobb]

His daughter's just registered his name at Companies House, then sped back to his bedside with a will for him to sign.

She's way ahead of you there, they did that in May.

https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company/12586021

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Imagine the state of the discourse if he goes though, fucking hell.

Imagine if he survives, though!  He'll be the new Christ!

[Ferris]

100 year old man with the 'vid, the prognosis is not good. How is grifter daughter feeling about the ol holiday to Barbados now.

And all the media gladhanding, photo opps, film studios, airports and god knows where else.

I understand the advice for the incredibly ancient is to stay indoors and get the vaccine ASAP, not have their kids wheel them to meet politicians and solicit donations for gin or whatever the fuck he's been up to. These rules may not apply to Lord Emperor Sir Captain Tom and his scions, of course.

[idunnosomename]

some people aged around 100 haven't left their house since march they're so at risk. this cunt went to barbados and met the queen.

bastard.

[SteveDave]

Elton John's warming up. Bernie's faxing through some new lyrics.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

Rumour has it, he's phoned Bojo asking for tips for how to look he's got it.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Pity Clive Dunn snuffed it a few years back.  Wouldn't he be an absolute shoo-in to play Moore in a biopic?

[Better Midlands]

My heart and prayers go out to young boys of Barbados.

[George Oscar Bluth II]

some people aged around 100 haven't left their house since march they're so at risk. this cunt went to barbados and met the queen.

bastard.

[live coverage of the state funeral]
Huw Edwards or whoever: now some would suggest that a 100 year old man visiting Barbados and meeting with well wishers during a pandemic might have been, perhaps, wreckless
Talking head: yes but what fun he had in his last year and, in a way, that must have made it all worthwhile