Author Topic: Captain Tom Moore  (Read 90488 times)

Ptolemy Ptarmigan

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1920 on: February 19, 2021, 12:44:45 AM »
You can do or be anything you want to be?

FUCK THAT SHIT

You can do or be anything you want to do or be.



You can do or be or do be do be do  ♬

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1921 on: February 19, 2021, 12:51:42 AM »
oh you fools as if he was allowed to speak
if a dying old cunt speaks from his hospital bed and his daughter scraping off his endorsed charity foundation doesn't hear, did he have any last words at all?

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1922 on: February 19, 2021, 10:40:44 AM »
Oh dear:  https://youtu.be/CpgRpwHfQj0



Looks like Captain Tom Moore has lived a rocky path to say the least!

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1923 on: February 19, 2021, 10:41:51 AM »
I like to think future generations will tell the legend of an old man punished by God, forced to walk in an eternal circuit. Even in hell he's probably still walking. The Albert Camus of the 30th century will write a book called The Myth of CapnTom, and all your most pointless, neverending workplace tasks will be called "Doing A Tom".

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1924 on: February 19, 2021, 07:29:20 PM »
Oh dear:  https://youtu.be/CpgRpwHfQj0



Looks like Captain Tom Moore has lived a rocky path to say the least!

Guys it’s definitely him.  They’ve tried to keep the zimmer frame out of shot but it’s obviously him.

He has the same gait, the same hair, the same glasses, the same NHS-saving leer, everything.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1925 on: February 22, 2021, 10:53:29 AM »
His funeral's on Saturday.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-56153128

They want a small, ostentatious service.



Butchers Blind

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1926 on: February 22, 2021, 11:00:23 AM »
They want a small, ostentatious service.

The binmen do a lovely send off.

SpiderChrist

  • "the law of averages says you'll survive"
Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1927 on: February 22, 2021, 11:06:34 AM »
He's dead? That's sad.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1928 on: February 22, 2021, 12:11:18 PM »
Quote
"I want the service to end with My Way by Frank Sinatra because I always did things my way and especially like the line about having too few regrets to mention."

Capt Sir Tom also wrote he had thought about his epitaph and, as a fan of The Goon Show, would like a version of the engraving on Spike Milligan's headstone which reads "I told you I was ill".

"I think I'd ask for the simple inscription of my name, the dates of my earthly span, and the words, 'I told you I was old'," he wrote.

ironically, rather than doing things his way, those are most obvious and hackneyed things anyone could possibly request about their funeral and burial

Bernice

  • a turkey is a bad person (he/him)
Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1929 on: February 22, 2021, 02:58:32 PM »
In honour of my comedy hero, Spike Milligan, I'd like to get 'Spike Milligan 1918-2002' on my gravestone.

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1930 on: February 22, 2021, 03:37:04 PM »
ironically, rather than doing things his way, those are most obvious and hackneyed things anyone could possibly request about their funeral and burial

But “I told you I was old” doesn’t work because the Milligan joke is at the expense of the person telling it and their hypochondria which (this time) was correct. You can’t be a hypochondriac around the objective nature of your age.

Old man: I am very old
Other person: I do not believe that, pull the other one etc
Old man: [dies; gets last laugh on gravestone]
Other person: yes, he was right all along. There is now egg on my face.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1931 on: February 22, 2021, 03:43:08 PM »
As a big fan of the Goons I think we could we put his grave right at the edge of some land that is soon to be eroded into the sea or a river. Then have the headstone ready to be updated with 'He's fallen in the water!"

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1932 on: February 22, 2021, 03:45:27 PM »
Captain Tom
???! - 2021
“My daughter told me I needed to exercise Moore”

Captain Z

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1933 on: February 22, 2021, 04:19:41 PM »
Captain Tom

I PR

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1934 on: February 22, 2021, 04:59:04 PM »
Remember Jimmy Savile's gravestone?  Sir Tom's could be uprooted if it came out that he didn't patriotically rape civilians in wartime.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1935 on: February 22, 2021, 05:12:26 PM »
Captain Tom
???! - 2021
“My daughter told me I needed to exercise Moore”
its pretty easy to work out what year he was born in

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1936 on: February 22, 2021, 05:19:33 PM »
its pretty easy to work out what year he was born in

Don’t believe the hype.

chveik

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1937 on: February 22, 2021, 05:19:46 PM »
its pretty easy to work out what year he was born in

look at bigbrain mcboffin over here

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1938 on: February 22, 2021, 09:05:10 PM »
what can i say i'm a fan. i know he was cunted out in 1920

BlodwynPig

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1939 on: February 22, 2021, 09:08:22 PM »
what can i say i'm a fan. i know he was cunted out in 1920

but in which year?!

Butchers Blind

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1940 on: February 22, 2021, 09:41:52 PM »
If 99 year old Philip dies on Friday then no-one will notice Tom going in the ground.

Better Midlands

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1941 on: February 23, 2021, 03:24:34 AM »
If 99 year old Philip dies on Friday Saturday then no-one will notice what with Tom going in the ground.

FTFY

BlodwynPig

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1942 on: February 23, 2021, 08:45:29 AM »
FTFY

The whip-poor-wills take flight this weekend.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1943 on: February 24, 2021, 09:48:53 AM »
"Aye, I can see it all now, Tom lad.  She's going to grow up and do you proud!"

Time traveller from 2200 arrives and drop-kicks baby.


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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1944 on: February 24, 2021, 10:29:09 PM »
isn't it astonishing what they can do with cameras nowadays.  it's like peering in through a fuckin window at those guys

the colours are as crisp as day and there is a baby there

BlodwynPig

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1945 on: February 25, 2021, 08:31:38 AM »
You can see where Ron got his genes, that half-smirk on both of them.

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1946 on: February 25, 2021, 10:47:05 AM »

Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1947 on: February 27, 2021, 08:55:39 AM »
Everyone's ringing a bell for Tom at midday.  Not everyone can get to a church belfry, so why not do that childhood game of ringing your neighbour's doorbell then scarpering.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-56212135

Blue Jam

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1948 on: February 27, 2021, 09:27:59 AM »

Butchers Blind

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Re: Captain Tom Moore
« Reply #1949 on: February 27, 2021, 09:39:55 AM »
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-56212135

Quote
Six soldiers will carry his coffin into the crematorium and, a firing party of 14 will each fire three rounds in unison.

I'm pretty sure he's dead but you can't be too careful I guess.

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