Captain Tom Moore

[hamfist]

Phoenix Lazarus impregnate me with your babies you awesome creature. I love that !!

[EOLAN]

Bad tribute poem is bad

Good Knight, Captain Tom

So he was "a grand father" more so than a grandfather. A big compliment in most places but reading it in my Irish voice, grand always just comes across as meaning mediocre; just about acceptable or meh.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

So he was "a grand father" more so than a grandfather. A big compliment in most places but reading it in my Irish voice, grand always just comes across as meaning mediocre; just about acceptable or meh.

If it's in a Yorkshire voice, 'grand' would sound like strong praise.

[idunnosomename]

These bad poems always choose the AABB... rhyme scheme, don't they?

in this case it seems to have chosen the "absolutely no meter at all" meter

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Captain Tom
Even better than the CD-ROM
French for rubber is gomme
and there were rubber plants where you came back from
when hostilities in World War Two were gone
just as you are now, Cap'n Tom
So long

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Captain Wretch

Laughed

[Rizla]

Bad tribute poem is bad

Good Knight, Captain Tom

Nice quote from legend Gary down the page ;-) 🤣

[Cuellar]

'May your sleep be as restful as you deserve'

Awful thing to say

[jenna appleseed]

The giant etched faced on the second version is kinda terrifying.
You can imagine the lines moving about in kind of twitchy squigle vision.

The poem obliterating his face on the first one is hilarious/accidentally insulting too.

[jenna appleseed]

Nice quote from legend Gary down the page ;-) %uD83E%uDD23

This wasn't an invitation for you lot to badly troll Affinity software* <pout face>
"Toodle Pip!" indeed, the real Legend Garry would never be such a cod-British stereotype *folds arms*

[* now wondering just how confused they'd be by photo edits involving Hans etc. turning up on the Share Your Work subforum}

[jenna appleseed]

Clearly his funeral was an incredibly important piece of news that has been given the prominence it deserves.



The Panini stickers get more space than him.

How many of us thought for a second "Shaz bins dead dad" was about our Tom lol.

[idunnosomename]

i have a lot of questions about that cover to be honest. i struggle with what almost any of it means

[BlodwynPig]

i have a lot of questions about that cover to be honest. i struggle with what almost any of it means

Give the masses what they want. Celeb pullout with telly listings. Austerity never happened. Myth.

Für Appleseed

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Clear your diaries, folks.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/plan-celebrate-captain-sir-tom-112638602.html

[Ferris]

Clear your diaries, folks.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/plan-celebrate-captain-sir-tom-112638602.html

Why invite 67m strangers (and the media of course) to a "celebration of life" event for a recently-deceased family member?

Even I think this is tasteless, and I post on here.

[Butchers Blind]

Clear your diaries, folks.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/plan-celebrate-captain-sir-tom-112638602.html

Sorry Hannah, I'm busy doing anything else.

[SpiderChrist]

To paraphrase one of the inspirations for this fine forum "I'm sorry, but I appear to be busy watching television on that day"

[Phoenix Lazarus]

".....we were able to give my father a fitting send-off ..... full military honours would have had him bursting with pride."

Here's Tom bursting with pride.

[jobotic]

How did he bring joy to millions then?

My grandad died aged 95 - not many people knew about him but if millions had I don't think it would have automatically brought them joy.

[idunnosomename]

To be fair this thread has given me a fair few laughs. Not least just then when i swiped right and saw the lions.

[Huxleys Babkins]

To be fair this thread has given me a fair few laughs. Not least just then when i swiped right and saw the lions.

Serious questions raised over RSPCA's new Tinder rival.

[Ferris]

And because we skipped over it a bit - the "signed" autobiographies that were being churned out and sold at a premium, which turned out to be stamped.

Presumably, he wasn't the decision-maker there ("why don't I sign some copies, then we could sell 'em for more!"), and after they were rumbled the reason given was Tom was "too tired" to sign them so they used a stamp instead.

So someone gave him a pen and told him to start signing hundreds of books, and when he said he was too tired, rather than stop the money machine they found an expedient solution, didn't feel the need to tell anyone they had done this, and because they are so bulletproof in the media nobody cared.

That'd sink a lesser money-making operation.

[idunnosomename]

Serious questions raised over RSPCA's new Tinder rival.

oh fuck is one of those a cub

[Huxleys Babkins]

And because we skipped over it a bit - the "signed" autobiographies that were being churned out and sold at a premium, which turned out to be stamped.

Presumably, he wasn't the decision-maker there ("why don't I sign some copies, then we could sell 'em for more!"), and after they were rumbled the reason given was Tom was "too tired" to sign them so they used a stamp instead.

So someone gave him a pen and told him to start signing hundreds of books, and when he said he was too tired, rather than stop the money machine they found an expedient solution, didn't feel the need to tell anyone they had done this, and because they are so bulletproof in the media nobody cared.

That'd sink a lesser money-making operation.

I picture the scene of him signing those books like that bit in Texas Chainsaw Massacre where they try to get the old man to smash the young girl's skull in.

[Ferris]

It's more like a Viz strip.

"I'll get the old codger to sign a few copies - we'll be coining it in no time!"

...

"Curses, the vulnerable old man says he's too tired to make me some lucre! ...time for plan B, eh readers?"

Etc

[idunnosomename]

God i'd love to see a Graham Dury Captain Tom strip

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Will the April 30 event have a hologram of him singing a version of Tomorrow from Annie: 'To-mor-row, to-mor-row; a good day, to-mor-row...'?

[Butchers Blind]

Will the April 30 event have a hologram of him singing a version of Tomorrow from Annie: 'To-mor-row, to-mor-row; a good day, to-mor-row...'?

Download the ARETOM^(H) app and you can track his journey through the afterlife.

[BlodwynPig]

Download the ARETOM^(H) app and you can track his journey through the afterlife.

Reports coming in...he's struggling to get up those steps to the pearly gates. More of this snark and he may just tumble down to the underworld. Lady Di is imploring him to ignore the haters but impartial Peter is shooing her away "what happens will happen".

[Phoenix Lazarus]

A preview from his autobiography: "....so I said to him, 'I'm sure that wouldn't be my daughter you're talking about there, would it?' He said, 'I'm talking about that rapacious golddigger with the fat arse whose hawked you round the media.' I said, 'okay, well in that case..."