Captain Tom Moore

[imitationleather]

I'm hoping to be long dead by then.

[El Unicornio, mang]

His likeness is being officially enshrined in UK law. Anyone who draws a picture of him shall be beheaded on live TV by order of HRH, hosted by Ant & Dec

[Huxleys Babkins]

"Huxleys, I'm down the hospital. They took dad in this morning, they think he had a stroke last night and mum found him at the bottom of the stairs this morning. He's in a really bad way. You need to get down here now because they don't know how long he's got left. Huxleys? Huxleys? Are you there?"

Sorry, sis, no can do. Orders of Hannah Ingram-Moore. I've a hero to honour. *continues inflating the blow-up zimmer frame*

[bgmnts]

I want us to dig up his corpse, stuff him full of Werther's Originals, hang him from the tree and kids whack him with sticks until he explodes and showers them all.

[Dog Botherer]

kids whack him...until he explodes and showers them all.

it's what he would have wanted

[Kankurette]

I want us to dig up his corpse, stuff him full of Werther's Originals, hang him from the tree and kids whack him with sticks until he explodes and showers them all.

The corpse fluids would make the Werthers taste pretty gross.

[Kankurette]

I like how she's asked us all to keep April 30th free as if people don't have to go out to work, take children to school or attend appointments. No Hannah, I cant keep that day free for whatever you want people to pressure others into doing.

I'll be at my parents' celebrating my own birthday, not the birthday of some dead bloke I didn't know.

[El Unicornio, mang]

The corpse fluids would make the Werthers taste pretty gross.

Sweet and creamy and uncommonly bad.

[Kankurette]

Sweet and creamy and uncommonly bad.

"Now I'm covered in the grandad!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Maybe there will be a 24 hour clap on that say and the first person who stops gets executed by firing squad next to the statue of Winston Churchill. A lottery takes place which people.can enter to be part of the firing squad. 

[DrGreggles]

"Remember remember the 30th April"


_{AKA 'Monetise Your Dead Dad Day'}

[Phoenix Lazarus]

"Remember remember the 30th April"

....brand power and a media slot.

[idunnosomename]

They Saved Captain Tom's Brain

[BlodwynPig]

https://www.list.co.uk/article/124167-captain-tom-moores-life-to-be-celebrated-with-special-event-on-april-30th/

Gary Barlow duetting with Gary Barlow duetting with Gary Barlow into infinity

[BlodwynPig]

It's vile

[JamesTC]

They Saved Captain Tom's Brain

They need to put it in an athletes body so he can do more walking. Or perhaps they can Robocop him and he can walk it in a new robotic frame.

"Fund the NHS or there will be... trouble"

[flotemysost]

his sense of fun

It's this bit that really fills me with cold dread. Not sure it's even legally possible to accurately honour this man's idea of a good time. Maybe on the 30th there'll be a 24-hour amnesty on social distancing and age of consent laws.

[BlodwynPig]

It's this bit that really fills me with cold dread. Not sure it's even legally possible to accurately honour this man's idea of a good time. Maybe on the 30th there'll be a 24-hour amnesty on social distancing and age of consent laws.

The must be a term for this sort of phrasing. Is it gaslighting?

I mean, something said to elicit obedience in collectivism, but is ultimately false or exaggerated and more often than note belies a great lack of imagination and, most importantly, fun. The kind of thing representing a conga line of permed prannets drunk on babycham in the 80s before they go home and take polaroids of their genitals.

[flotemysost]

a conga line of permed prannets drunk on babycham in their 80s before they go home and take polaroids of their genitals

Spot on prediction for the 30th I reckon.

[Butchers Blind]

I will be celebrating AreTom's Day by breaking into my local OAP home and handcuffing all the elderly residents together then drag them out into the car park and make them do laps until all are defeated by their old age while I shout "DO IT FOR TOM! DO IT FOR TOM'. Then upload the vid to Hannah for the likes.

[Kankurette]

Enforced fun is not fun.

[idunnosomename]

That's the most egregious use of "battle" I've seen. Vile old cunt died almost immediately after catching pneumonia.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Akse P19 has painted a Captaib Tom mural: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-56601196

[JamesTC]

Fitting that it was painted outside of a tapas restaurant as we all know he loved to.

[idunnosomename]

look at the replies to this. cult still going strong.

https://twitter.com/Akse_P19/status/1377308069332389894

i said cult!
I'd say cunt if I wanted to, but we all know captain tom was a cunt.

[jobotic]

Hypnosis Coaching
@RitaCoaching
·
14h
Replying to
@Akse_P19
,
@AndyBurnhamGM
and
@captaintommoore
This is the type of mural women want to walk past Mr. Mayor....not violent criminals!

What's this twat on about? George Floyd or Nelson Mandela probably. Or does Manchester have a Moaty mural?

[Quote]

Burnham paying the price for that mural of Ted Bundy fucking a corpse.

[idunnosomename]

The same artist has done a George Floyd one

[Kankurette]

What's this twat on about? George Floyd or Nelson Mandela probably. Or does Manchester have a Moaty mural?

There's a nice one of Marcus Rashford where I live. It's by the same guy.

[BlodwynPig]

I'd love a really ugly goggle eyed cunt to become a national hero. PAINT YOUR MURALS NOW YOU VANDALS!