Captain Tom Moore

[madhair60]

They used to call him Tom "More" down at the old dark web due to his insatiable sexual appetite

edit: for children, I hasten to add

[Hand Solo]

They nicknamed him "Cuddly" Moore because he used to cuddle colonial Indian prepubescent boys to death, snuggy Thuggee style.

[Butchers Blind]

They used to call him "No" Moore as that's what all those young, defenceless boys used to cry.

[Chairman Yang]

I heard they called him "Captain" down at the barracks in reference to his rank in the armed forces.

Children.

[Head Gardener]

I heard they called him "Captain" down at the barracks

did he say Wot?

[idunnosomename]

They called him Captain Tom "Thumb" because of where he put his thumb

[Chollis]

"Goodnight, Mr Tom!" the children would repeat at gunpoint as he departed the Calcutta slums every evening

[idunnosomename]

CHILD WITH CEREBRAL PALSY MUSCLING IN





https://twitter.com/NRSHealthcare/status/1265946407703371776/photo/1

40K? fucking pathetic. try raping a few indians and come back kid

[idunnosomename]

i mean. healthcare for disabled children should be fully funded by taxing alan sugar till his bollocks squeak. not children with cerebral palsy walking round on breakfast TV for donations. thats my agenda. cheers

[Hand Solo]

i mean. healthcare for disabled children should be fully funded by taxing alan sugar till his bollocks squeak. not children with cerebral palsy walking round on breakfast TV for donations. thats my agenda. cheers

Don't worry, Captain Tom will pull a few strings with his shadowy government/military connections and have this piss taker of a boy whisked away to his huge house for a 'special meeting' with Captain Tom where they can really get 'palsy'. He'll be stripped naked, dipped in garlic oil and curry powder and delivered to Tom forthwith for an immense buggering, the Colonel up his colon so deep let's see this lad even try and walk after Tom has had his way with him. That'll teach this feckless do-gooder with his ambling arrogance to try and steal his limelight by bothering to walk a bit for the cameras. Tom will then strangle him slowly and suck in his soul to live again for at least another three cycles of the moon.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

Don't worry, Captain Tom will pull a few strings with his shadowy government/military connections and have this piss taker of a boy whisked away to his huge house for a 'special meeting' with Captain Tom where they can really get 'palsy'. He'll be stripped naked, dipped in garlic oil and curry powder and delivered to Tom forthwith for an immense buggering, the Colonel up his colon so deep let's see this lad even try and walk after Tom has had his way with him. That'll teach this feckless do-gooder with his ambling arrogance to try and steal his limelight by bothering to walk a bit for the cameras. Tom will then strangle him slowly and suck in his soul to live again for at least another three cycles of the moon.

what the actual fuck

[Butchers Blind]

CHILD WITH CEREBRAL PALSY MUSCLING IN





https://twitter.com/NRSHealthcare/status/1265946407703371776/photo/1

40K? fucking pathetic. try raping a few indians and come back kid

Left it late.  Everyones had enough now of clapping and try-hards ambling about for cash.  Its time to get the BBQ's out and forget the NHS.

[Fr.Bigley]

Left it late.  Everyones had enough now of clapping and try-hards ambling about for cash.  Its time to get the BBQ's out and forget the NHS.

Cerebral palsy? Fuck off man 40k is just terribly paltry. Little twat.

[idunnosomename]

More than 40k spent on sending captain tom birthday cards i reckon. Pathetic.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

More than 40k spent on sending captain tom birthday cards i reckon. Pathetic.

At his age they're likely the last he'll get, so don't begrudge him.

[BlodwynPig]

Looks like a time travelled Sir Tom Moore, that kid - that's what he spent the money on - Tardis.

[ImmaculateClump]

Is that Barry from last of the summer wine?



Must be some sort of weird aberration caused by Tom's time machine.

[BlodwynPig]

Why is Pris from Bladerunner staying indoors? Is the kid JF Sebastien

[JamesTC]

Are we quite sure that this kid isn't Colonel Captain Sir Tom Moore in disguise?

[BlodwynPig]

Are we quite sure that this kid isn't Colonel Captain Sir Tom Moore in disguise?

Looks like a time travelled Sir Tom Moore, that kid - that's what he spent the money on - Tardis.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Shame that kid's parents don't have connections like HRH Colonel Sir Captain Tom's daughter. £40k's nice, but it's all about that RAF fly past, record and book deals and Nick Knowles doing your fence up for free.

[Fr.Bigley]

Shame that kid's parents don't have connections like HRH Colonel Sir Captain Tom's daughter. £40k's nice, but it's all about that RAF fly past, record and book deals and Nick Knowles doing your fence up for free.

This kids dad works for Allied carpets, well, he did when it was open. Poor sods signed on ever since. They need to do a drive pass...the DSS after this is over.

[JamesTC]

I think it is preposterous to suggest that Sir Colonel Captain Tom would, as a child, time travel into the future to raise money for charity. Much more likely that he'd dress up as a child with cerebral palsy.


That being said, the idea of Captain Tom travelling through history on a time travelling zimmerframe is an appealing one.

[Hand Solo]

That being said, the idea of Captain Tom travelling through history on a time travelling zimmerframe is an appealing one.

I don't think he even walked at all, that advanced military zimmerframe just hovered slightly and he let the Earth slowly rotate around him, lazy gravity dodging paedo cunt.

[MinnieTimperley]

*Self immerse in bath of hand sanitser as the hard men flex thier muscles*

[Cold Meat Platter]

*Self immerse in bath of hand sanitser as the hard men flex thier muscles*

Not sure this is the place for your wank scenarios.

[MinnieTimperley]

Don't analyse me Cold Meat Platter

[Butchers Blind]

*Self immerse in bath of hand sanitser as the hard men flex thier muscles*

Again, you know before opening the thread what's going to be inside but still go ahead.  Dirty bastard.

[Hand Solo]

Again, you know before opening the thread what's going to be inside but still go ahead.  Dirty bastard.

I know what's going to be inside Colonel Tom's soft husk of a skull when I eventually split it open with that fucking zimmerframe of his, but it's not going to stop me.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Don't analyse me Cold Meat Platter

I was just pointing out that this is a thread dedicated to Britain's favourite biltong golem sex-case, not your febrile onanistic fantasies.