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Captain Tom Moore

Started by weekender, April 15, 2020, 06:15:12 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

idunnosomename

im drunk and am losing the will to live


Dex Sawash

Chocolate Lionel Richie has let himself go

H-O-W-L

Fucking hell, is it just me or is he a living version of the Schoolmaster from The Wall?

The Bumlord

He's not looking bad for 100 fucking years old is he?

What's his secret?

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Utterdrivel on September 14, 2020, 02:22:18 PM
He's not looking bad for 100 fucking years old is he?

What's his secret?

the usual

idunnosomename

Quote from: Utterdrivel on September 14, 2020, 02:22:18 PM
He's not looking bad for 100 fucking years old is he?

What's his secret?
imagine looking like that doddering old cunt for 30 years


Thursday

Quote from: Utterdrivel on September 14, 2020, 02:22:18 PM
He's not looking bad for 100 fucking years old is he?

What's his secret?

Ingesting the life essence of the minors he abuses.

BlodwynPig


dothestrand

There's a movie of Captain Tom going to be made. Cumerbatch as the young Tom maybe. Having a daughter in PR really helps.

Is it really evil of me to imagine there might be more to this story - like if anyone's seen the Atom Egoyan film 'Remember'?

idunnosomename

it will just be him film of him walking the entire lap of his old rectory garden. it will be 18 hours long

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: idunnosomename on September 23, 2020, 12:46:28 PM
it will just be him film of him walking the entire lap of his old rectory garden. it will be 18 hours long

I bet Andy Warhol wishes he was still alive.

Bernice

Quote from: dothestrand on September 23, 2020, 11:38:14 AM
There's a movie of Captain Tom going to be made. Cumerbatch as the young Tom maybe. Having a daughter in PR really helps.

Is it really evil of me to imagine there might be more to this story - like if anyone's seen the Atom Egoyan film 'Remember'?

That proper made me laugh. But yeah, I too am hoping for the day the other shoe drops and he's outed as a fraud/war criminal/racist. I fear if this doesn't happen before he dies he'll end up entombed Lenin-style in Trafalgar Square.

imitationleather

I thought rape porn was illegal in this country?

idunnosomename

Quote from: imitationleather on September 23, 2020, 02:24:51 PM
I thought rape porn was illegal in this country?
we took back control

GMTV

I wonder who'll play the other cenobites

Hand Solo

The news says it's hibernation time for many families' tortoises, so time to put Tom back in his box and by that I mean a fucking coffin and stick him in the ground no matter how much he says he wants to go for another walk.

dissolute ocelot

Idris Elba to play Captain Tom.

Hand Solo

Who gets the rights to the low-budget Bollywood hodge-podge Horror version? Captain Tom dressed up like Indian Thriller "KALI MA!" gyrating around with his eviscerating zimmerframe haunting raping the dreams of children.

Bleeding Kansas

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on September 23, 2020, 02:59:33 PM
Idris Elba to play Captain Tom.

Yes, it's not actually a biopic, rather a contemporary sci-fi farce where Tom wakes up one morning to discover he has become black. The only way to change back is to do another 100 laps around his garden. "Riveting family fun" says the Sun. "Why 'Captain Tom D'Movie' addresses the Black Lives Matter movement successfully when other media has failed" says the Guardian. Also, Bill Nighy voices a talking Spitfire.


Chollis

Quote from: dothestrand on September 23, 2020, 11:38:14 AM
Is it really evil of me to imagine there might be more to this story - like if anyone's seen the Atom Egoyan film 'Remember'?

hope it ends similarly to The Jinx

Aaron500

No mention of the proceeds of this particular venture going anywhere other than his daughter's bank accounts.

I hope Cumberbatch and Michael Caine tell him to fuck off. And anyway, Michael Caine is a Londoner who famously always uses his own accent. Colonel Sir Captain Tom is a Yorkshireman, like his mates Peter Sutcliffe and Jimmy Savile.

BlodwynPig

Good point. Any idea where the money went?

idunnosomename

it just went into NHS Charities Together (skimming by the Ingram-Moores aside). funny how what his money does it hardly an issue now we have ARE NATIONAL HERO

STILL YOU CAN BE INSPIRED BY THIS!! THROW THOSE CURTAINS WIDE!!!!

perhaps the only video where instead of putting in slow-motion to make it seem inspirational they actually sped it up

https://youtu.be/1m0FG2k5ucc

(guess who's behind him at the end)

BlodwynPig


idunnosomename

yes. he intends to spend all the skimmings on sausages

Butchers Blind

Was in the local Waterstones earlier, there was loads of his book unsold.  Moved a few into the fiction section.

idunnosomename

woke marxists still intent on erasing history I see

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Butchers Blind on September 27, 2020, 01:52:59 PM
Was in the local Waterstones earlier, there was loads of his book unsold.  Moved a few into the fiction section.
Don't they have a Romance and Erotica section?