Why are ready meals so shit?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The OP probably stuck his in his Aga

Typical trite cheap gay-baiting abuse.

pancreas, which of the 5 floors of your building is the Aga located on?

[imitationleather]

Nana Leather used to make a mean Rustlers All Day Breakfast Sausage Muffin.

[Danger Man]

Aga is short for A gay person's cooker.

[idunnosomename]

i wish i was gay and had an aga.

have you ever made toast on one of the fuckers? you stick it between two tennis rackets and stick it under the manhole cover. it's like a hot bertha. madness

[Gregory Torso]

Agas are stricly for scrubs. Rayburns where it's at.

[Sebastian Cobb]

OH NO WE CAN'T USE THERMOSTATS, A HOT BIT AND A HOTTER BIT IS ALL ANY CUNT NEEDS REALLY.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Agas are stricly for scrubs. Rayburns where it's at.

I was on the main page and I saw your name, that you had posted in here last, and I laughed. I laughed at the prospect of what you were going to post. Laughed at what that post might contain.

That's a very privileged position. NEVER ABUSE IT AGAIN, _tonight

[Danger Man]

i wish i was gay and had an aga.

Me too.

I'd make a great gay apart from the sex bits.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I have a question about horsemeat

in countries where horsemeat is A Thing are there, like, eating horses, like specially reared for human consumption? because if that stuff got mislabelled as beef big deal

but if it's just used-up racehorses then fuck that

[Gregory Torso]

I was on the main page and I saw your name, that you had posted in here last, and I laughed. I laughed at the prospect of what you were going to post. Laughed at what that post might contain.

That's a very privileged position. NEVER ABUSE IT AGAIN, _tonight

I live to disappoint.

[Abnormal Palm]

Rear your own cows, butcher them, flay the flesh off their warm carcasses, mince their flesh, boil their bones into bechamel and make your own lasagne.

[checkoutgirl]

Just choked down a 'No.1 Waitrose Lasagne'. I bought it because it was reduced to a pound or something, from about £8. It was an amorphous morass of slimy snot membranes articulating across pneumonic cat sick. I needed a handful of Maldon just to make it taste of something.

Surely there's no excuse for it in the modern age? We know what these things—like lasagne—should be. We're no longer having to make an educated guess about it, informed only by a dog-eared copy of Elizabeth David and someone's memory of something they ate in a square in Rome when they were doing the Grand Tour.

Ready meals are—without any exception I know of—awful. Yet M&S basically seems to subsist on the festival of plastic generated by its ready meals, and the boomers wallow in the creamy muck therein like pigs in shit. (Why is it always so pappy?)

It seems to me that very few people have any real connection to their taste-buds. They *may* just about register salt and sweet, etc., but for the most part their analysis of food is: does this look like Food (the edible substances I am used to ingesting)? Is whatever flavour it has wildly in excess of Food in any direction? Is it boiling hot and therefore free of Germs?

This seems to me the only explanation for how this barf gets through the taste tests. But I'm open to other thoughts.

I actually find the Tesco Finest lasagne to be absolutely delicious and better than anything I could knock together at home. There's no way I'm sourcing multiple hard cheeses and Chianti red wine and pork belly and nutmeg to make a lasagne.

INGREDIENTS: Cooked Egg Pasta [Durum Wheat Semolina, Water, Pasteurised Egg], Beef (22%), Whole Milk, Tomato, Water, Chianti Red Wine, Grana Padano Cheese [Grana Padano Medium Fat Hard Cheese (Milk), Preservative (Egg Lysozyme)], Pork, Smoked Pancetta [Pork Belly, Salt, Dextrose, Garlic, Coriander, Nutmeg, Black Pepper, Preservatives (Sodium Nitrite, Potassium Nitrate)], Whipping Cream (Milk), Cornflour, Tomato Purée, Wheat Flour [Wheat Flour, Calcium Carbonate, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin], Onion, Carrot, Garlic Purée, Celery, Butter (Milk), Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Beef Extract, Salt, Yeast Extract, Basil, Porcini Mushroom Powder, Thyme, Black Pepper, Bay, White Pepper, Nutmeg.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I actually find the Tesco lasagne to be absolutely delicious and better than anything I could knock together at home

I suppose what you are saying is that this is not reflective of your best work.

[idunnosomename]

Rear your own cows, butcher them, flay the flesh off their warm carcasses, mince their flesh, boil their bones into bechamel and make your own lasagne.

it's quarter to eleven! it's a bit late for that!!!!!

[kittens]

retitle the thread: imagine being poor

[kittens]

im standing up for the common man. the common man likes a big yummy box of old pasta

[Danger Man]

OP's next post "Why don't £5 bottles of wine taste like wine?"

[chocolate teapot]

my favourite ready meal was waitrose vegetarian moussaka, they changed the recipe last year and now it's shit.

[kittens]

my favourite ready meal is whatever the masters deign to liquidise and send our way. it is not for us to choose what we eat. the masters will be enraged should we complain. yes sir, i will gladly reheat this mark&spencers vegan aubergine lasagne, bless you sir for gracing us with this bounty

[chocolate teapot]

lots of people agree about it being shit now https://www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/waitrose-mediterranean-vegetable-moussaka/038292-19095-19096 maybe there's a facebook page I can like about this

[chveik]

in countries where horsemeat is A Thing are there, like, eating horses, like specially reared for human consumption?

yes.

[DistressedArea]

Why would you eat a meal that wasn't ready?  Weird.

[idunnosomename]

OP's next post "Why don't £5 bottles of wine taste like wine?"

you can go down to about £4.50 and they can still be good. i mean you dont have to slum it on the liebfraumilch or barefoot

[touchingcloth]

I agree with the people saying that Aldi ready meals are generally pretty decent. Are they taste sensations which will make you weep salty tears of joyful cum from your tastebuds? No, but then I've had many a home and restaurant meal of which the same can be said. More often than not I put a spoon of warm ready slop in my mouth, find it to be palatable so I eat it all down like a good boy and find myself to have none of the symptoms of malnourishment the next morning. If I didn't know any better I'd say that it seemed for all the world like the manufacturers had a vestaed interest in producing meals that customers would want to eat again.

Agas are stricly for scrubs. Rayburns where it's at.

They've rebadged it, you fool.

[Danger Man]

you can go down to about £4.50 and they can still be good. i mean you dont have to slum it on the liebfraumilch or barefoot

£5 McGuigan is all you'll ever need.

Won the lottery? £30 quid Cloudy Bay will do.

[gib]

do we know where he got all the money?

pancreas, where did you get all the money?

[Danger Man]

To be fair, Chateau d'Yquem is worth £100 a half bottle.

Every grape has been crushed between Buelligan's thighs......

[kittens]

do we know where he got all the money?

pancreas, where did you get all the money?

you're not supposed to ask!!!! oh fuck

[Dewt]

Agas are stricly for scrubs. Rayburns where it's at.

We had an Aga and then a Rayburn a (different houses) when I was a kid. The Rayburn managed to heat every radiator in the damned house and cook a full roast dinner. Incredible things. If I ever get rich I'm getting a Rayburn.

[Danger Man]

We had an Aga

Posh boy shock