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March 29, 2024, 12:24:46 PM

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Your shittest console

Started by peanutbutter, May 07, 2020, 05:47:06 PM

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AsparagusTrevor

I traded my Sega Mega Drive for a 3D32. Fuck's sake, 13 year old me, fuck's sake.

Jim Bob

Quote from: Consignia on May 08, 2020, 03:43:13 PM
Are there any good 3D "point and click" adventures of that era? I quite liked Grim Fandango, but that didn't have the baggage of existing series, and the art style worked for it.

Like you say, Grim Fandango is excellent and the low polygon models and pre-rendered backgrops absolutely suit that world.  I'd also cite The Longest Journey as a great adventure game with lovely pre-rendered backdrops and reasonable low polygon models.  However, I'm really struggling to think of a single decent early 3D polygon era adventure game which succeeded graphically in real-time rendering for its environments.  I certainly can't think of one which is part of a ongoing series that started out as 2D (okay, maybe Tex Murphy: Overseer, but that is the sole exception to the rule).

It should be noted that Gabriel Knight III is a good game.  The controls work very nicely and the story is up to the usual high standards of Jane Jensen's writing (and Tim Curry voicing Gabriel is always welcome).  It's just the graphics that are fucking atrocious and it's really sad to transition from lovely pixel art (and FMV in part 2) to this...


Jim Bob

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on May 08, 2020, 03:51:42 PM
I traded my Sega Mega Drive for a 3D32. Fuck's sake, 13 year old me, fuck's sake.

Why did you trade your Mega Drive for a 6-Bolt Disc Brake?

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 08, 2020, 03:45:25 PM
I didn't realise until someone mentioned it that Thimbleweed Park wasn't just a homage to that stuff, it was actually made by a guy who was in charge of a lot of the old Sierra/Lucasarts stuff and built the SCUMM engine.

Ron Gilbert was never involved with any of the Sierra titles.  Sierra and Lucasarts were rivals.  Gilbert was a Lucasarts man, through and through.

madhair60

Quote from: Jim Bob on May 08, 2020, 03:51:46 PM
It should be noted that Gabriel Knight III is a good game.

I'll defer to your expertise but this is not what I have heard!

Jim Bob

Quote from: madhair60 on May 08, 2020, 04:06:31 PM
I'll defer to your expertise but this is not what I have heard!

There is one notorious and infamous puzzle involving cultivating cat hair through a serious of increasingly absurd actions, in order to fashion yourself a fake mustache (and then using a pen to scribble a mustache on your passport photo so that your fake cat hair 'tache matches your fake ID).  It is worthy of every last piece of scorn and derision which it receives.  However, the rest of the puzzles are reasonable (and there's even one outstanding puzzle, oft considered one of the very best among all adventure games).  One bad puzzle does not a bad adventure game make... even if said bad puzzle is REALLY fucking bad.

Dewt

Quote from: Consignia on May 08, 2020, 03:30:41 PM
No way, until the Switch, the Vita was my best console. I've said that many times before, and there were tons of games for it. Not much in the way of triple A games, but loads outside that niche.
The correct way to read this message is: "Vita is great for anime people"


the midnight watch baboon

I'm sorry your son's died, but that's the life of a prepubic abseiler, innit, Uncle Kev?


   that was my shittest console.

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Jim Bob on May 08, 2020, 03:55:36 PM
Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on May 08, 2020, 03:51:42 PM
I traded my Sega Mega Drive for a 3D32. Fuck's sake, 13 year old me, fuck's sake.
Why did you trade your Mega Drive for a 6-Bolt Disc Brake?

A lone brake hub would've been better than that piece of shit console that even my phone's autocorrect can't bring itself to name.


Jerzy Bondov

Can't bring myself to decry any console I've had because they all gave me some great memories of playing fun video games. Warm regards, me.

The Culture Bunker

Quote from: Jim Bob on May 08, 2020, 03:51:46 PMIt should be noted that Gabriel Knight III is a good game.  The controls work very nicely and the story is up to the usual high standards of Jane Jensen's writing (and Tim Curry voicing Gabriel is always welcome). [/center]
Years back, I bought all three GK games for about £6 on gog.com. Loved going through the original again, felt as wonderful as it had 20 years prior. I tried the second, but frankly the FMV stuff just did my head in and I couldn't take the main bod seriously as Gabe.

The third, I think I played the first few moments but those graphics were (as you point out) such a horror show that I've not gone back to it since.

Jim Bob

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on May 08, 2020, 07:32:50 PM
Why did you trade your Mega Drive for a 6-Bolt Disc Brake?

A lone brake hub would've been better than that piece of shit console that even my phone's autocorrect can't bring itself to name.

The thing is that I think you meant to say the Sega 32X?  In which case, you'd need your Megadrive to use it, so I don't understand why you would sell a required component in order to buy an add-on.  I am very confused.

EDIT: Unless you meant a CD32?  That would make more sense and was probably what you meant to say.  Ignore me.

Chriddof

Quote from: Jim Bob on May 08, 2020, 04:13:40 PM
There is one notorious and infamous puzzle involving cultivating cat hair through a serious of increasingly absurd actions, in order to fashion yourself a fake mustache (and then using a pen to scribble a mustache on your passport photo so that your fake cat hair 'tache matches your fake ID).  It is worthy of every last piece of scorn and derision which it receives.

The most unfortunate thing about the cat hair puzzle is that Jane Jensen apparently had nothing to do with it - there was originally some other puzzle there that they couldn't implement for whatever reason, and somebody else came up with that instead.

Jim Bob

#103
Quote from: Chriddof on May 09, 2020, 05:01:05 AM
The most unfortunate thing about the cat hair puzzle is that Jane Jensen apparently had nothing to do with it - there was originally some other puzzle there that they couldn't implement for whatever reason, and somebody else came up with that instead.

Indeed.  Imagine being wrongly credited for the cat hair puzzle!  Doesn't bare thinking abortions, really.  What a terrible thought.

*shivers*

EDIT: Also, Shivers; like the Gabriel Knight series, was developed by Sierra.  Just showing off with my knowledge, there.  Ignore.

EDiT 2: Oh and by the way; the word "abortions" was due to auto-correct but I'll be dammed if I'm gonna fix it.  Rather like it actually.  Almost poetic.


Sebastian Cobb

Does anyone know if these gamecube controller clones are adequate? I've only got a shit OEM controller as my official one got taken by someone with a gamecube. The official ones go for double this but could be quite worn these days!
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Black-Wired-Controller-for-Nintendo-GameCube-GC-and-Wii-Console-Classic-Joypad/311624150306?epid=1350535722&hash=item488e3f2d22:g:YBIAAOxy5jxSa-6D

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Jim Bob on May 09, 2020, 03:23:27 AM
The thing is that I think you meant to say the Sega 32X?  In which case, you'd need your Megadrive to use it, so I don't understand why you would sell a required component in order to buy an add-on.  I am very confused.

EDIT: Unless you meant a CD32?  That would make more sense and was probably what you meant to say.  Ignore me.
Yeah I meant the CD32. It probably would've helped if I used the right name for it in the first place but there you go.

I originally wanted the CD32 to use as a CD drive for my Amiga 1200 but never saved up enough money to buy the cable. So once the novelty of FMV had worn off, I was stuck with a console I had to stick a Lego Pirate island on top of make it read a disc.

Sebastian Cobb

Wasn't the CD32 basically a sawn-off A1200 anyway? Seems a bit of a complicated way to add a CD drive.

AsparagusTrevor


Jim Bob

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on May 09, 2020, 12:52:19 PM
Yeah I meant the CD32. It probably would've helped if I used the right name for it in the first place but there you go.

I originally wanted the CD32 to use as a CD drive for my Amiga 1200 but never saved up enough money to buy the cable. So once the novelty of FMV had worn off, I was stuck with a console I had to stick a Lego Pirate island on top of make it read a disc.

What was your favourite game for the CD32, if any? 

(please say Beneath a Steel Sky, because that game is boss)

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: AsparagusTrevor on May 09, 2020, 12:52:19 PM
Yeah I meant the CD32. It probably would've helped if I used the right name for it in the first place but there you go.

I originally wanted the CD32 to use as a CD drive for my Amiga 1200 but never saved up enough money to buy the cable. So once the novelty of FMV had worn off, I was stuck with a console I had to stick a Lego Pirate island on top of make it read a disc.

I had a CDTV so I feel your pain, the Public Domain cds were vaguely okay but that was about it.

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Jim Bob on May 09, 2020, 02:31:32 PM
What was your favourite game for the CD32, if any? 

(please say Beneath a Steel Sky, because that game is boss)
I didn't have Beneath a Steal Sky for the CD32, but I did have it for the Amiga and it had a ridiculous amount of disks, something like 15! Great game.

My CD32 library didn't expand much beyond the games I got with it, which were Microcosm (mediocre shooter with sprites overlaid on FMV) Liberation (Sci-Fi RPG with the inimitable voice of Neil Morrissey), Ultimate Body Blows (alright fighter) and Oscar (bobbins platformer which really made me miss Sonic). I think the only two games I bought for it were Wing Commander and Chaos Engine.

Jerzy Bondov

Fucking hell Microcosm! I'd totally forgotten that. My friend had it on his PC. The game was shit but I liked its name. Microcosm. Wow what a cool, made-up sci-fi word. What's a cosm? Only one way to find out! Play MICROCOSM!!

Thinking about it my shittest console was my friend's PC with all its shoddy CD-ROM games like Microcosm and MegaRace.

AsparagusTrevor

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on May 11, 2020, 09:39:41 AM
Fucking hell Microcosm! I'd totally forgotten that. My friend had it on his PC. The game was shit but I liked its name. Microcosm. Wow what a cool, made-up sci-fi word. What's a cosm? Only one way to find out! Play MICROCOSM!!

I liked the setting, you were up someone's guts shooting shooting parasitic robot things, and it had an actual FMV intro like the big boys on the PC did. I played an emulated Mega CD version recently and it was piss-poor, the tiny pangs of nostalgia didn't last too long.

Speaking of intros, the one to the aforementioned Liberation was brilliant, not FMV but nicely animated pixel art. I used to love a good intro, I did.

My favourite memory of Microcosm and the CD32 was this advert trying to illustrate "Colours... So many colours!" with a game which is 99% pink;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8zlO0yRIX4

SavageHedgehog

I got a Wii U around the time the Switch launched, I don't regret it because I've bought a good number of games for about a third of the price they are on Switch, even second hand. I'm not really a knowledgeable (or good) enough gamer to care that the Switch versions are slightly improved, it would be nice to play them on the go occasionally but I've got a pretty decent collection of handheld games so I'm not too worried.

Jim Bob

#116
Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on May 11, 2020, 09:39:41 AM
Microcosm. Wow what a cool, made-up sci-fi word. What's a cosm? Only one way to find out! Play MICROCOSM!!

Or you could just look up the very much non-made-up word in the dictionary...


MojoJojo

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 09, 2020, 01:07:01 PM
Wasn't the CD32 basically a sawn-off A1200 anyway? Seems a bit of a complicated way to add a CD drive.

The CD32 had a special widget to do chunky to planar conversion, which in theory would help a lot for 3D games. But a it was only on the CD32, only  Gloom Deluxe and NEMAC4-Directors Cut used it. (I had to google that and I've never heard of NEMAC4 before).

It seems obvious with hind sight but considering how well Amiga graphics stood up to PC until the mid 90s, the architecture was absolutely terrible for 3D.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: MojoJojo on May 11, 2020, 04:54:28 PM
The CD32 had a special widget to do chunky to planar conversion, which in theory would help a lot for 3D games. But a it was only on the CD32, only  Gloom Deluxe and NEMAC4-Directors Cut used it. (I had to google that and I've never heard of NEMAC4 before).

It seems obvious with hind sight but considering how well Amiga graphics stood up to PC until the mid 90s, the architecture was absolutely terrible for 3D.

Were there any aftermarket accelerator cards?

Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: Jim Bob on May 11, 2020, 04:46:10 PM
Or you could just look up the very much non-made-up word in the dictionary...


I was using this — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_indirect_speech — to speak in the voice of my younger self for 'humour'. Granted it wasn't funny but I have heard of microcosm. Had one just last week. Delicious.