Brian May’s Sheared Arse Attack

[batwings]

Brian May hospitalised after 'ripping his buttocks to shreds' in gardening accident
Queen guitarist said he sustained his injuries after being 'over-enthusiastic' in his garden, though didn't share specifics


https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/brian-may-hospital-gardening-accident-queen-instagram-a9504956.html

[bgmnts]

If Roger Taylor chokes "on vomit" that would be awesome.

[Fr.Bigley]

Brian May hospitalised after 'ripping his buttocks to shreds' in gardening accident
Queen guitarist said he sustained his injuries after being 'over-enthusiastic' in his garden, though didn't share specifics


https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/brian-may-hospital-gardening-accident-queen-instagram-a9504956.html

I'll be honest, If anyone was going to do this, I'd have had money on the other one. RIP

[Pseudopath]

Ha! Revenge of the Thai child prostitutes.

Either that or Angie Watts with a barbed-wire strap-on.

[Tony Tony Tony]

If Roger Taylor chokes "on vomit" that would be awesome.

Especially if it isn't his own.

[Buelligan]

Obviously a badger.

[jobotic]

Shredded bottomed men, you make the rockin' world go round.

[idunnosomename]

doesn't it mean he just bent over too much and microteared his fragile bottom? not that he sat on a chainsaw (ill skin your ass raw)

[Bum Flaps]

I don't like to ride my bicycle

[idunnosomename]

we're just waitin' for my buttocks to heal

ba-DUM CHK
ba-DUM CHK

[PlanktonSideburns]

I don't like to ride my bicycle

Perfect username

[madhair60]

its not funny guys, his arse is in tatters. his arse.

[Buelligan]

He's in his seventies.  He could probably do with a new one.

[Dewt]

It's a bit like that Queen song, "I Tore My Fucking Arsehole Apart!"

[Polymorphia]

I guess it wasn't his cup of tea.

(

Spoiler alert

Get it! An Alan Partridge reference. Might as well shove me into the grave now with such an obvious reference

[close]

)

[JesusAndYourBush]

I noticed more than one person on the tv/radio today making the point that Brian May was the first person to social distance because he played the guitar on the roof of Buckingham Palace at (whatever concert it was. Jubilee?) years ago, which is just desperate tenuous shite.

[C_Larence]

Apparently May told Roger Taylor he'd done it "weeding crysanthenums, my friend"

[poo]

Fuck I lived in my arse today.

[ImmaculateClump]

I want to break free (from my buttocks)
we are the champions (of arse mangling)
I want it all (unshredded arse)

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

disappointingly May refers to his gluteus maximus, meaning he's fucked his arse muscle good and proper rather than doing his arse a mischief with a sharp implement by for instance gardening naked and "falling" on the shears.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Gimme gimme gimme bum fission

[rack and peanut]

Ooooh, you're makin' me stand for the forseeable future, honey!

#brianisanallyshredded

[ProvanFan]

Shouldn't be out gardening with Guy Fawking of the legs

[Petey Pate]

I've scrolled past this thread multiple times and only now have I just got the pun in the subject title. Marvellous job.

[Butchers Blind]

The world is going through many changes but one thing you can rely on is Brian May having the same haircut for 50 years.

[Norton Canes]

I know I did this not so long ago in the thread about a guy they found having sex with a pile of leaves, but HA HA, RAKE 

[Golden E. Pump]

Who Wants to Stand Forever?

[Blumf]

Back Chat?

[idunnosomename]

#ClapforBrianMaysButtocks

[Keebleman]

His missus says she was alerted by Seven Screams of Bri.