Brian May’s Sheared Arse Attack

[idunnosomename]

His missus says she was alerted by Seven Screams of Bri.

i love it

[Jittlebags]

"Get me a new one. This one's broken." Mr F.B. - Zanzibar.

[rue the polywhirl]

No matter what horrendous damage Brian May has done to his rear end with gardening shears or whatever, it's still a better editing job than the one on the Bohemian Rhapsody movie. That undeserved Oscar should be handed over to Brian's May's newly tattered-to-pieces derrière.

[Keebleman]

A special edition of Queen's Greatest Hits is going to be issued in support of Brian at this difficult time.  It'll be called A Night at the Opera(ting Theatre).

[idunnosomename]

Anus Battle AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[beanheadmcginty]

His behind is tragic.

[Butchers Blind]

Heart attack now.  Not a good May for Brian.

[idunnosomename]

Next: while at the hospital recovering Brian gets his feet stuck in a pair of buckets, and when trying to remove them falls out of a window into a dumpster full of medical waste

[Cuntbeaks]

If he isn't prepared to explain exactly what happened, then he should fuck off. Vague, sympathy mining, cunt.

[ImmaculateClump]

I reckon he didn't have any shears so got up a step ladder with his lawn mower to trim the hedge.
He drifted off remembering one his self indulgent widdly guitar solos up a palace roof or something, then he toppled off the ladder, lawn mower landing on it's back. He lands arse first on the blades and ends up spinning around and around like that for a good twenty minutes crying out "Aaaaaaaaargh! My beautiful aaaarse!" before his wife came and pulled the plug.

So much grey pubey hair in that house. Any child who loses a balloon in the area, it must just get sucked into their vortex. I bet they can't move in there for partially deflated balloons and broken hair tongs.

I genuinely saw someone trimming their hedge with a lawnmower like that. Not up a ladder, but still.

[What Doth Life?]

Guaranteed to tear your hind
ANYTIIIIIIIME

[thecuriousorange]

Neil Buchannan is designing the sleeve for the comeback record, Sheer Art Attack.

[wosl]

All we fear is rake and go "Argh..AARRGHH!!"

[Jim Bob]

"There's been a rake up there!"

[Butchers Blind]

RAKE! Arrghh Arrghh. Tearer of the gluteus.

[Satchmo Distel]

Natalie Imbruglia rewrite

[idunnosomename]

lying rakéd on the floor

[easytarget]

Neil Buchannan is designing the sleeve for the comeback record, Sheer Art Attack.

Marseille formed in Liverpool in early 1976, and released their debut album, Red, White and Slightly Blue on the Mountain Records label in 1978. Original members were Paul Dale (vocals), Neil Buchanan (guitar), Andy Charters (second guitar), Keith Knowles (drums) and Steve Dinwoodie (bass). Marseille were the first band to win "UK Battle of the Bands" with the finals judged by Brian May and Roger Taylor of Queen at Wembley Arena on 31 October 1977.

The snake is eating it's own tail.

[Hey, Punk!]

Take me to the place where the halls are white,
I've hurt the thing I use to shite.
Take me from the place where the grass is green,
Gotta be quick, I need some morphine.

[Mr_Simnock]

Bicycle!Bicycle!I can't sit on my bicycleI gone and shredded my arrrrrrse

[pcsjwgm]

Another One Smites His Arse

[rue the polywhirl]

If the Rear Of The Year awards ceremony is still taking place they probably will now have to acknowledge Brian May in a 'famous rears we have lost' montage. Or create a new category for him, The Cthulhu Award - Most Lovecraftian Rear.