Giant Hogweed

[spaghetamine]

Just found about this nasty plant, turns out nature is bad actually :(

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/giant-hogweed-bristol-burns-danger-4112335

(somehow had gone my whole life never having heard of Giant Hogweed, mad shit)

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I read through patiently for the inevitable section which informed the readers that, like everything bad - IT ARE FOREIGN

The plant is native to the Caucasus region and Central Asia.

But - the Caucasus and Central Asia are...over there!

[BlodwynPig]

Just found about this nasty plant, turns out nature is bad actually :(

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/giant-hogweed-bristol-burns-danger-4112335

(somehow had gone my whole life never having heard of Giant Hogweed, mad shit)

ffs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTuJQL8GBqY

[Captain Crunch]

We used to go and visit that stuff on trips out from school.  They did make a fuss, telling us not to touch it over and over again for days before the trip and then again but slightly louder on the visit itself.  Great fun. 

[Cerys]

I read through patiently for the inevitable section which informed the readers that, like everything bad - IT ARE FOREIGN

But - the Caucasus and Central Asia are...over there!

And it are over here now.  I remember my dad warning me about it in the early 'Eighties.  I didn't really believe him, so I'm glad I never tried to call his bluff.

[Buelligan]

It's been in Britain for long enough.  I remember my grandmother telling me about someone getting burned by the sap in Devon in the sixties or seventies.  It's just the fucking humans, they blunder about so, don't teach their children to treat wild things with respect, expect the natural world to be safer than Legoland.  The natural world is not like that and anyone who thinks it is deserves to be eaten by an alligator.

[Captain Z]

The Potterisation of modern life.

[BlodwynPig]

Makes a lovely soup, sprig of heather, some powdered Sanguinaria Canadensis and new potatoes, lovely

[BlodwynPig]

ps. do not look up black salve on wikipedia

[Cerys]

ps. do not look up black salve on wikipedia

I looked it up.  Rebel, me.

[Pijlstaart]

3 separate nouns, 3 separate threats. All very overwhelming, and for me it isn't something I could deal with, I'd just deny deny deny and if it was that big an issue then someone else would sort it. When we're in danger, the values we hold and the decisions we make may not fit the ethos we've constructed for ourselves, it should herald a period of re-evaluation and personal growth. Beispiel: As a direct result of a recent near-death experience, I discovered that net curtains are a form of empowerment, they allow you to take back control, and the dislike I previously harboured for people with net curtains was impotent rage, resentment for the agency I lacked.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I remember seeing pifs aimed at roadside workers/gardeners about this stuff when I was a kid. Can't find 'em on YouTube of course

[petril]

if you've ever played a sci-fi game with alien worlds and been impressed by how they came up with all this weird alien fauna, you've been duped. it was always just giant hogweed.

there used to be a fucking massive effort of one next to Yoker station. gone now, and I think it was what prompted the council to clear out all the wild overgrowth down at the footbridge end over the last couple of years. this thing was a champion, easily 3 metres

[Dewt]

If we know anything about the people of Yoker it's that they will not tolerate that which is not even from there.

[beanheadmcginty]

Cow parsley for cunts.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

went on a hunt for public information films about giant hogweed and ended up watching a UK pif from the 70s about how the modern office is just an enormous death trap, what with all the trailing telephone cords and people throwing lit matches into waste paper bins full of typewriter-cleaning fluid

[Jittlebags]

Try stroking your bellend with a parsnip leaf when it's sunny, then you'll be sorry.

[Bently Sheds]

Human bodies soon will know our aaaaaaaaaaangerrrrrrr.

[Inspector Norse]

Preferred Kendo Nagasaki myself

[petril]

If we know anything about the people of Yoker it's that they will not tolerate that which is not even from there.

and of course, if we know anything about Yoker station, we'll know that the people of Yoker aren't fussed because even Yoker station(like most things named after Yoker) are sensible, realise they have no business being in Yoker and stay the fuck out of the area[nb]this is actually true, the train station, fitba' team and a number of other Yoker-named things are actually in Clydebank. at least half the famous sketch knew it had nae business being in Yoker and was filmed in Clydebank. And a wee bit in Dumbarton[/nb]

[Aaron500]

Stay home ▪ Save Hives (from forming on your kids' skin because you've let them run wild  in the undergrowth and they've picked the wrong plant to fuck with)

[spaghetamine]

Went for a walk and saw some earlier, absolutely bricking it tbh

[Cerys]

It's when it pulls up its roots and starts walking that you need to worry.

[idunnosomename]

wasnt this a wrestler

[DiClassomo]

You're thinking of Wild Angelica

[Marner and Me]

It's when it pulls up its roots off its cock and starts walking wanking that you need to worry.

[idunnosomename]

You're thinking of Wild Angelica

you bet i am, by my dirty old bollocks