Author Topic: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please  (Read 3170 times)

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #30 on: May 12, 2020, 09:23:32 AM »
Only in a dark and needy way.

There’s other ways of loving someone!?

BlodwynPig

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #31 on: May 12, 2020, 09:24:06 AM »
What if it is a picture of a naked man, but taken on a polaroid camera 14 miles away?

Al Tha Funkee Homosapien

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #32 on: May 12, 2020, 09:35:30 AM »
Depends if you work in the Blurry Photo Of A Naked Man Factory or not.

Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #33 on: May 12, 2020, 09:37:39 AM »
How the fuck does that work? Does your work have bots on its network that check images for tits?

I'm sure they're a lot better now, but the early versions of these 'porn' detectors just used to look at how much of certain flesh-toned colours were present, so things like a picture of a family of pigs could set it off.

Cerys

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #34 on: May 12, 2020, 09:39:54 AM »

BlodwynPig

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #35 on: May 12, 2020, 09:40:12 AM »
I'm sure they're a lot better now, but the early versions of these 'porn' detectors just used to look at how much of certain flesh-toned colours were present, so things like a picture of a family of pigs could set it off.

That's why I am BANNED FROM THE INTERNET IN 32 COUNTRIES!

Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #36 on: May 12, 2020, 09:41:37 AM »
In a similar vein, for a while someone at work had a CaB member's ideal job: testing for swearwords and drug references etc. Not just common ones but anything they could come up with that might be known to "the kids" but not necessarily the middle management of an IT dept.

I was at work one day when my computer got a bit iffy around ssl and I noticed twitter was no longer signed by twitter. After poking around I found work had silently pushed some root certificates to my machine and silently updated the config to push me onto an appliance with SSL interception. I also found they'd kept the old proxy in place as all our dev kit was still using it, but had pushed us on to this by not allowing intranet traffic through anything but the new appliance. One chrome plugin later that could switch proxies by domain and I was back skiving several hours a day on the old legacy proxy, which was not being monitored properly.

BlodwynPig

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #37 on: May 12, 2020, 09:50:17 AM »


The Gang is Back Together for One Last Show

boki

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #38 on: May 12, 2020, 09:56:04 AM »
Is it okay if we want to get a quick diagnosis of genital warts, purely for health reasons?
It's Wimblewrong, not Winklewrong.

Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #39 on: May 12, 2020, 09:59:52 AM »
I'm sure they're a lot better now, but the early versions of these 'porn' detectors just used to look at how much of certain flesh-toned colours were present, so things like a picture of a family of pigs could set it off.

Maybe the porn finding robot had scrutinised so much porn in it's time that it became desensitised to everything but pig incest.
Even though the photo was entirely innocuous, it stirred up such a whirlwind of fantasies in the robot's AI that that's the photo it singled out while turning a bored blind eye to your 3,000+ collection of folk in peephole gimp suits, gobbling each others todds.

Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #40 on: May 12, 2020, 10:05:44 AM »
When you say "please do not post tech queries outside of that thread", what if the tech query is specific to a particular thread, eg kindle enquiries in books or itunes/ MP3 players in Oscillations?

Specific to a particular subforum I guess you mean. Yeah that's fine, that's really the way it used to be before I idiotically decided to call a gaming forum "Technology", thereby giving a false impression about the actual desired content.

The main thing has always been to limit the "broken computer" posts to that sticky thread, because - I'm sorry - but I find discussions about broken computers to be very, very dull, and the sticky thread has always been a great resource for people who need assistance there.

BlodwynPig

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #41 on: May 12, 2020, 10:09:02 AM »
Maybe the porn finding robot had scrutinised so much porn in it's time that it became desensitised to everything but pig incest.
Even though the photo was entirely innocuous, it stirred up such a whirlwind of fantasies in the robot's AI that that's the photo it singled out while turning a bored blind eye to your 3,000+ collection of folk in peephole gimp suits, gobbling each others todds.

As the indomitable Mary Whitehouse once told me "Why is something soooo Good, sooooo Bad?"

Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #42 on: May 12, 2020, 10:15:38 AM »


LMAO! A sounder there for sure :-D

madhair60

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #43 on: May 12, 2020, 10:29:01 AM »
Well there you go. Thanks for that; I had wondered if I was being over-cautious by sticking to this "no NWS images" policy after all these years, but I don't want stuff like that on my conscience if I can help it. People should be able to read the forum at work without risk of losing their job.

I didn't mention it at the time because, y'knowwww, I shouldn't really be on CaB at work anyway and I didn't want to put something on the community that isn't really their fault. Whoever said about the image host, incidentally, that's what it turned out to be - an innocuous avatar hosted somewhere that's flagged as hosting pornography, hence the ping.

Consignia

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #44 on: May 12, 2020, 10:44:14 AM »
I think it'd be wise if people thought about were their avatars were hosted. I've noticed alerts on my work laptop's security software getting triggered because of avatars being hosted on things like drugs related websites, and some other dodgy ones. Didn't cause me any issues, but it might for others.

In general, I'd always suggest grabbing an image you like[1] and uploading to something like imgur, to avoid any dodgy associations.
 1. and cropping to a square ratio for the OCD among us

Cerys

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #45 on: May 12, 2020, 11:00:39 AM »
LMAO! A sounder there for sure :-D

Are you suggesting that we drop them into a large body of water to work out the depth?  Because I could get on board with that.

Tony Tony Tony

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #46 on: May 12, 2020, 11:26:57 AM »
How the fuck does that work? Does your work have bots on its network that check images for tits?

If the system is anything like that at a place I used to work there are a number of possible ways to catch porn.

The most laborious is to have all traffic go through a proxy server which is set to check for known bad words, dodgy url or check images for skin tones. This generates plenty of false positives that require checking by an actual human. This job is often done by a lowly IT bod who passes the filthiest positive ones on to his mates HR for further enquires.

The process can be automated somewhat by having any image files hashed as they pass through the system. The hash can be compared automatically to a database of known dodgy images. Such hash databases are available from places like NIST, CEOP or IWF. The database is obviously updated regularly both centrally and locally.

My experience of being a pornfinder general, for a major high street bank, is now somewhat out of date so I suspect systems are now far more sophisticated. I left this area a few years ago with the thanks of the bank and an uncontrollable erection.

Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #47 on: May 12, 2020, 11:29:35 AM »
I knew hashed image databases were used for forensics and catching child porn, but do they use that for all known naked images as well? Must be a pretty exhaustive database.

I got the feeling that most places I've worked used a mixture of dumb blocking and just logging sites visited, so you were unlikely to get caught unless there was an incident where someone saw you viewing something you shouldn't.

Tony Tony Tony

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #48 on: May 12, 2020, 12:12:19 PM »
I knew hashed image databases were used for forensics and catching child porn, but do they use that for all known naked images as well? Must be a pretty exhaustive database.

I got the feeling that most places I've worked used a mixture of dumb blocking and just logging sites visited, so you were unlikely to get caught unless there was an incident where someone saw you viewing something you shouldn't.

You are spot on in that one of the primary function of hash databases is to aid digital forensics types, a job I did for some twenty odd or so years. Though as naked pics tend to be shared round groups of folks and hashing a file once it comes into your organisation is a simple matter, adding to a custom list is relatively easy so you catch lots of miscreants passing round the latest hot memes in a workplace.

The vast majority of deviant types i.e. your average kiddie fiddler is generally not dim enough to use work systems for their hobbies. Though I did come across (no pun intended) a case a few years ago of a government employee, who was the system admin, storing his porn stash on what he thought was a hidden partition on a work server. He amassed some 80gb or so of good clean ordinary grumble before Someone senior decided to check why so much bandwidth was being gobbled up (again no pun intended) by torrents. I understand that to avoid embarrassment to the government department in question the offender was asked to leave and was most likely last seen carrying his briefcase down Whitehall With a right arm the size of Arnold Schwarzeneggers

Buelligan

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #49 on: May 12, 2020, 12:17:57 PM »


I never noticed before how similar, facially, Johnson's ex wife is to his father.  That is some disturbing shit.

Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #50 on: May 12, 2020, 12:25:54 PM »
How could both those buses have resisted the temptation. Ridiculous.

thenoise

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #51 on: May 12, 2020, 12:44:55 PM »
Quote from: idunnosomename link=topic=80112.msg4192175#msg419217
Is this porn?

AM I ALLOWED TO POST PICTURES OF THIS NAKED WOMAN NOW THAT SHE IS WEARING CLOTHES?

Cerys

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #52 on: May 12, 2020, 12:49:10 PM »
I never noticed before how similar, facially, Johnson's ex wife is to his father.  That is some disturbing shit.

The blonde?  That's his ex-wife?  Fuck me, Agnes, I thought she was his sister!

Buelligan

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #53 on: May 12, 2020, 12:51:16 PM »
No the blonde one is his sister.  Ignore the hair, imagine them all naked and bald.  It's the small one (who was dark before her baldness).  The one next to the Fatherlode.  Look from face to face... See.

Are you saying he wants to fuck his sister btw?  That is dark, bald or no.

Cerys

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #54 on: May 12, 2020, 12:53:19 PM »
imagine them all naked and bald

You're a cruel woman, Buelligan.  A cruel, cruel woman.

Buelligan

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #55 on: May 12, 2020, 12:54:37 PM »
Heheh.  What is life for?

Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #56 on: May 12, 2020, 12:58:18 PM »
You are spot on in that one of the primary function of hash databases is to aid digital forensics types, a job I did for some twenty odd or so years. Though as naked pics tend to be shared round groups of folks and hashing a file once it comes into your organisation is a simple matter, adding to a custom list is relatively easy so you catch lots of miscreants passing round the latest hot memes in a workplace.

The vast majority of deviant types i.e. your average kiddie fiddler is generally not dim enough to use work systems for their hobbies. Though I did come across (no pun intended) a case a few years ago of a government employee, who was the system admin, storing his porn stash on what he thought was a hidden partition on a work server. He amassed some 80gb or so of good clean ordinary grumble before Someone senior decided to check why so much bandwidth was being gobbled up (again no pun intended) by torrents. I understand that to avoid embarrassment to the government department in question the offender was asked to leave and was most likely last seen carrying his briefcase down Whitehall With a right arm the size of Arnold Schwarzeneggers

I'm sure I read years ago that one of the porn torrent sites was first just dropped into the dmz at some sysadmin's work. Ballsy, imagine getting caught with that!

Prison Biscuits

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #57 on: May 12, 2020, 01:03:55 PM »
If we all change our avatars to something pornographic, then all Cabbers will get fired and be able to contribute more to the site. It's win-win basically, with no detrimental outcomes at all.

Cerys

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #58 on: May 12, 2020, 01:07:30 PM »
Heheh.  What is life for?

Spunking on carbonara, apparently.

Tony Tony Tony

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Re: IMPORTANT: Don't embed non-work safe images on CaB please
« Reply #59 on: May 12, 2020, 01:18:49 PM »
Spunking on carbonara, apparently.

Remind me never to eat in your restaurant

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