The pointless behaviour of eBay sellers

[flotemysost]

About 8 years ago I won a jacket on Ebay. I can't recall the brand, but I remember being quite pleased that I got it for a fiver as it was definitely worth more than that and looked brand new. Inevitably, my chuffedness started to fade after I heard nowt from the seller for a week so I chased it up.


ME: Hiya mate. Any update on when you'll be sending the jacket?

CUNT: Sorry mate. I accidentally spilled a tin of paint all over it. I'll send you a refund.

ME: OK. Why did it take you so long to tell me this?

CUNT: Just been really busy with work stuff at the moment. I'll refund you when I get home

ME: Can you send me a picture of the jacket. I'd like to see how damaged it is?

CUNT: Look mate, it's totally covered in paint. You won't want it

ME: Just seems a bit odd you sold the jacket for a lot less than it was worth and now it's covered in paint and you can't send me a picture of it.

CUNT: Yeah, it's wrecked mate. I've thrown it in the bin

ME: OK. Well just get it out of the bin and send me it. I don't mind if it's damaged.

CUNT: Bin men took it this morning. It's gone.


He then took another week to send me the refund. That was the last time I used Ebay.

Haha, fucking hell.

I love second hand shit but I always go to charity shops rather than eBay etc. - but I guess it's the browsing that I enjoy, rather than looking for a specific item (although often if you've got a particular thing in mind, a big enough shop will be likely to have something along those lines - e.g. BHF furniture shops).

From what I've heard from friends working in charity shops, it's generally the customers who are nightmares: haggling (often based on ridiculous and unreasonable logic/pure fantasy, descending into abuse when they don't get their way), theft, people trying to donate really rank soiled stuff, etc.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I was in a charity shop browsing once and in the space of about 2 minutes one customer tried haggling with the lady behind the till and then a spaced-out junkie tried a jacket on and started asking her questions like 'does this fit me?' which she fended off with 'well that's really a personal decision for you isn't it?'.

I bought a lovely stainless steel Sona teapot like this:

[Marner and Me]

Charity Shop Shit is a funny FB group.

[Clownbaby]

Haha, fucking hell.

I love second hand shit but I always go to charity shops rather than eBay etc. - but I guess it's the browsing that I enjoy, rather than looking for a specific item (although often if you've got a particular thing in mind, a big enough shop will be likely to have something along those lines - e.g. BHF furniture shops).

From what I've heard from friends working in charity shops, it's generally the customers who are nightmares: haggling (often based on ridiculous and unreasonable logic/pure fantasy, descending into abuse when they don't get their way), theft, people trying to donate really rank soiled stuff, etc.

I volunteered at BHF last summer and it was a fucking pain. So many ridiculous customers making real heavy weather about what they wanted. A woman seemed like she'd never been in a shop before. She came up to me and pointed manically at random spots around the shop saying ''I want that n that n that n that n that please'' and just kept doing the same thing when I politely asked her to specify. Then she handed me her credit card and disappeared upstairs, came back down and asked why I ''hadn't done it''. She'd assumed I knew what pin to put in, because of course I knew the pin of this random woman. And her address and her name and her number.

There was a woman as well who would aggressively haggle so she could sell the things she bought at BHF for a big profit at boot sales. I saw her at one selling old Freeview boxes for £50 each, and I remember her getting worked up with me about £10 being too much in the store. She would also be very weird about receipts and I figured she was doing that because she wanted to keep them in case she couldn't sell them but when I started working at Dunelm's coffee shop she came in there an was fucking weird about receipts in there as well.

An old woman bought an old microwave for £10, her husband was waiting outside in the car and she asked about home delivery. It would have been £20 delivery, I told her, and asked her if she'd rather save money and just put it in the car. She snapped ''no I don't want it in the car I want the delivery'' and kept huffing and trying to walk away from the desk while I tried to fill in her details. Absolute nightmare that place. I could think of at least 30 more bizarre customer run ins from my 8 weeks I spent there.

[Ferris]

I picked up an Acid Jazz compilation in a charity shop that has 'Happy Christmas '95 love Aila x' and it always makes me a bit melancholy imagining what happened, acrimonious split? Dead? Just chucking shit out to make room for more Street Sounds Electro compilations?

Presumably given the note they must've thought they wanted it quite a bit, so at some point you'd think it meant something to them.

I collect records like that, because they're cheaper and are loads more fun.

My copy of Help! has underlining on the track list for the "best ones" and 'property of Robert [Person], 3rd form, [school]' on it.

Everyone on the cover of Led Zep II has tiny pencil moustaches drawn on.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I collect records like that, because they're cheaper and are loads more fun.

My copy of Help! has underlining on the track list for the "best ones" and 'property of Robert [Person], 3rd form, [school]' on it.

Everyone on the cover of Led Zep II has tiny pencil moustaches drawn on.

Yeah I like it. Also on the rare occasion someone sticks a thankyou note in with a discogs order I leave it in the sleeve so I see it when I play it, like my Laura Lee lp has 'Thank You, from France! :)' in it.

Could've done without the blood on the paper sleeve on my copy of Patti Smith's Easter, mind.

[beanheadmcginty]

Things I have discovered over the years that sell for a shit ton more money than they should be worth on ebay:
Sony Walkmans, regardless of quality. Even those chubby yellow plastic ones go for a small fortune these days.
1980s Transformers (over 100 quid for some, despite being played with to fuck)
Top Trumps. Sold an old 70s horror themed deck for 120 quid once.
A scratched and beaten up old Intel Inside promotional keyring I found in the garden. 20 quid.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Kind of pissed off I skipped my original modded xbox as 'I've got a machine for running kodi and my hacked wii can do emulation'. Twat.

[flotemysost]

I volunteered at BHF last summer and it was a fucking pain. So many ridiculous customers making real heavy weather about what they wanted.

God, people are twats. I've only bought something from a BHF furniture shop once (a 70s-looking cane/bamboo chest of drawers, which I absolutely love) and the staff were incredibly helpful and nice. On the day I came to pick it up, it turned out that something had fallen on it in the back room and cracked the glass top (it still functioned completely fine, unless you were planning to do coke off it or something) - they were massively apologetic and very carefully cleaned up all the little shards of glass and also insisted on knocking £5 off the original price (an already very reasonable £15).

The Uber driver I'd called to collect it cancelled (they too had advised it would be cheaper to sort out my own transport rather than use their delivery service) and they were really nice about letting me hang about in the back room while I called another.
 
Well, that was quite a boring story, but my point is it's sad to think of people treating those lovely staff/volunteers like crap, but I'm sure it happens a fair bit.

[Flatulent Fox]

This may not be to do with the EBAY,but:

                                                                  Around about 2000,my mate was telling me about the internet scams he'd heard about.

One was in Australia where some lad was selling a device guaranteed to kill all known insects and even rats.Apparently a lot sold but there was trouble as everyone complained that the guy was just selling them a brick.It went to court and he was found not guilty of misleading ect.

Another was also from Australia where there was a lot of online interest in a fart in a jar.

If it was on the Amazons,the two could be made into a multibuy deal?

[Attila]

I'm guessing it was to notch up a "look at this happy customer, who received my item and is using it, and is so enthralled with it that they chose to post a photo of themselves using it on social media completely of their own accord" effect.

I always find that engineered stuff hideously awkward, as someone who uses social media but very very rarely posts anything. I've got a friend who makes jewellery, and I bought a pair of earrings off her, all good so far - but then she kept badgering me to post a picture of myself wearing them, with her business tagged. It was with ludicrously specific art direction too - the photo had to be unsmiling, and in profile - I never post selfies and I look like a fucking buzzard in profile, so had I complied it probably would've sent any potential customers reeling in horror. I think she forgot about it eventually.

I think it's more along these lines, although all of item photos (she has a lot of clothes for sale) are her modelling the clothes in what I guess she figures are provocative poses, but are kind of annoying when you want to see what the item actually looks like. She also gave me suggestions for how to accessorise for these photos. So I'm guessing, too, she just wanted a happy happy customer thing.

I've been having a sift through Etsy the past couple of days looking for wool yarns and stuff for my knitting. I always double check any sewing accessories and that with other shops on the internets outside of Etsy (they gouge their sellers even worse than eBay does). I wanted to get a neat little ruler for gauging socks and that; Etsy seller had it for £15 + £3 postage. An online wool and crafty type shop had the same thing, £10, free shipping.

Ditto looking for a knitting needle gauge -- I like antique sewing gadgets, so I ended up down that rabbithole this afternoon. Loads of these mad little antique ones on Etsy, shaped like a bell, from the 1930s. None less than £10, and some considerably higher. They're all over eBay for about a £5 each. Someone else had this c.1940s stitch and row counter, looks like a seriously primative abacus/counting machine. £50, beat up as fuck, bit rusted, instructions worn. Loads of them on eBay for like a fiver, and in far better condition.

I prefer to poke around in actual second hand and vintage shops as well, but needs must in these weird times.

[mippy]

A lot of stuff on Etsy is mass-produced these days - things you can get off AliExpress.

In the 00s, I used to flip stuff on eBay and would often come across copies of American McGee's Alice in charity shops or Game for about £1. Knowing it was sought after now, I'd stick it on eBay, and every single time would get a message like this:

"Hi, interested in your Alice game - I'll give you £6 buy it now?"

Click on the username. Click on 'items for sale'. Clearly a dealer.

"Thanks, but I'd rather let the auction run its course."

"Well, I can tell you you certainly won't get a better price than that!!!"

Fight the urge to reply with "Thanks, but I too know how to do a 'completed items" search."

Game sells for £20. Get it up you, dick.

[Goldentony]

I guarantee you in 2003 my mate showed me a frucking eBay auction of a video tape claiming to show Satan and I fucking shit my self because it had a shot of the video with Satan on it, there he was, Satan, on the video on eBay

[touchingcloth]

A lot of stuff on Etsy is mass-produced these days - things you can get off AliExpress.

In the 00s, I used to flip stuff on eBay and would often come across copies of American McGee's Alice in charity shops or Game for about £1. Knowing it was sought after now, I'd stick it on eBay, and every single time would get a message like this:

"Hi, interested in your Alice game - I'll give you £6 buy it now?"

Click on the username. Click on 'items for sale'. Clearly a dealer.

"Thanks, but I'd rather let the auction run its course."

"Well, I can tell you you certainly won't get a better price than that!!!"

Fight the urge to reply with "Thanks, but I too know how to do a 'completed items" search."

Game sells for £20. Get it up you, dick.

If something has been overpriced or if I don't hugely need it I'll put cheeky offers in on eBay, but if I really want/need something I'll put an offer in around or slightly higher than the usual sale price. The jackpot is when what happened to you goes in the other direction - when they refuse the offer because they reckon they can get more, and I win it in the auction for less than my offer.

Beat that, I think to myself.