Eurovision was supposed to be tomorrow.

[Cuellar]

It is grim

[Captain Z]

Graham Norton on Belgium's entry: 'and oddly the song is called still breathing...'

Then immediately after comes the video clip of UK entry, titled My Last Breath.

[Durance Vile]

The British entry was called "My Last Breath"? Good grief, that's unfortunate.

[Pseudopath]

I must be getting soppy. That Love Shine A Light bit wrecked me.

[idunnosomename]

scooch were fucking robbed. we should have ignored the ethnic cleansing if the former yugoslavia were going to treat us like this

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Bjorn out of Abba made me all emotional.

[Attila]

This Eurovision replacement is the most morose broadcast ever. It's being broadcast from inside a dystopian black cube, with beyond-the-grave music in the background during the Harfynn Teuport and Suki Bapswent sections. Only 30 second snippets of the songs and zoomed-in messages of hope and destruction from the artistes.

I told Mr Attila it was too much like a live-action version of Twitter. We gave it about 45 mins and gave up - still, had a few larfs with the traditional May viewing of 'Song for Europe.'

[flotemysost]

Only playing 30 seconds of each song was a bit odd. You can have a bit of fun BUT NOT TOO MUCH, NOW BACK TO SAD

It must have been a tricky tone to pitch of course, but as a couple of my friends mentioned, it was played almost like a benefit gig (except of course it's not).

Could have done without Måns Zelmerlöw's syrupy smirking into the camera, too. But yeah I'll admit the Shine A Light part did fuck me up a bit :(

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I think the plan is for everybody to send the same acts next year. Are there rules about how much airplay a Eurovision entry can have before the contest? Because that would probably explain it.

[beanheadmcginty]

I know you're not supposed to post your own stuff on here, but if anyone's interested I made my own Eurovision Wrong Contest compilation this year for my mates. I went through every single Eurovision entry since 1968 (1373 songs), picked the weirdest/worst/most memorable song for each country that has ever entered (51 of them) and edited it into a 3.5 hour show. I can post the download link if anyone wants it.

[Pseudopath]

I think the plan is for everybody to send the same acts next year. Are there rules about how much airplay a Eurovision entry can have before the contest? Because that would probably explain it.

Nah...the EBU have already said that this year's songs won't be eligible for the 2021 contest. Nothing stopping countries from sending the same artists (indeed 18 of them have already confirmed they will), but the songs will be different.

No news on Iceland yet, sadly.

[bomb_dog]

I can post the download link if anyone wants it.

Sounds like fun, go for it!

[Pseudopath]

In retrospect, I don't know why they couldn't have had a proper song contest, but with videos instead of live performances. It is a song contest after all and at least we would have found out who won. They could have easily crammed all of that emotional stuff into the half-time show.

[DrGreggles]

In retrospect, I don't know why they couldn't have had a proper song contest, but with videos instead of live performances. It is a song contest after all and at least we would have found out who won. They could have easily crammed all of that emotional stuff into the half-time show.

It's because it's all about the "staging" these days.
Which meanss that a cunt on ice skates counts for more than a cunt dressed as a penguin.

Maybe I'm getting Eurovision wrong though.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Also, shittons of money to be had selling tickets for the live show.

[Pseudopath]

Also, shittons of money to be had selling tickets for the live show.

Yeah...but they didn't get that anyway. At least they could have recouped something from the phone/text votes.

Which meanss that a cunt on ice skates counts for more than a cunt dressed as a penguin.

Fair point, but hush your bitch mouth before you cuss my boy Plushenko. ;-)

[DrGreggles]

I was going to suggest a CaB Eurovision night on here, but wasn't sure if there would be enough interest to make it worthwhile.

Essentially the idea was:
- Everyone who signs up is randomly allocated a Eurovision country
- They trawl the past entries for that nation, then present a YouTube link for one of those
- Repeat for all participants, one by one
- Interval Riverdance
- Unnecessarily slow dipping mechanism long voting process, probably accompanied by alcohol

[Poobum]

Surprised to see Little Big turn up for Russia, they're like a proper band.

[Pseudopath]

Surprised to see Little Big turn up for Russia, they're like a proper band.

Mate.

Do love that song though. Nice of Ruth Jones to rock up at 0:49 too.

[Billy]

I'm sad enough to have actually attended every live Eurovision Grand Final since 2016 (not the semis, that would be over the top even for me) - held in Stockholm, Kiev, Lisbon and Tel Aviv respectively. Interesting being there as even standing near the front of the stage, you've got a mixture of the hardcore worldwide fans with the flags interspersed with bemused locals who have little interest in what's going on but it's a fun night out for them all the same. Last year a ton of the latter audience left the arena after Madonna had finished performing and never came back, and in every year besides Stockholm it's been surprising how many don't care about the voting bit at all (the best bit for most UK fans) and slowly start going once the last song's been performed.

Prices have varied a lot, from about £100 in 2018 for a good standing place to well over £300 last year (subsequently discounted nearer the time as they had tons of empty spaces due to cost/few deciding it safe to travel to Israel) - this year would have been somewhere in between that, but even before the cancellation I was finding it impossible to actually get a ticket as it felt like the whole of Western Europe was trying this time, finally taking their chance now there was a contest comparatively near them. Accommodation was also insanely highly priced from the moment the Dutch actually won a year earlier, not just in Rotterdam but the whole damn country - my options looked to either be to stay in Antwerp in Belgium where everything was priced normally, or somehow head straight to the airport with all my stuff after the contest and get an early morning flight home. In contrast in Kiev I got a private room not too far from the arena for six quid.

My claim to fame is appearing on camera for about 30 seconds during the 2016 contest, waving like a loon behind Mans the host which is always fun to bring out at house parties. That and my selfie with the 2018 Czech Republic singer who randomly just emerged from the arena while we all were queuing outside and spent ages saying hi to all of us, which was unexpected but fun.

[Pseudopath]

I'm sad enough...

Well...I'm jealous as fuck, so who's the sad guy in this equation?

[imitationleather]

Yeah that's extremely cool, Billy.

[MinnieTimperley]

I'm sad enough to have actually attended every live Eurovision Grand Final since 2016 (not the semis, that would be over the top even for me) - held in Stockholm, Kiev, Lisbon and Tel Aviv respectively. Interesting being there as even standing near the front of the stage, you've got a mixture of the hardcore worldwide fans with the flags interspersed with bemused locals who have little interest in what's going on but it's a fun night out for them all the same. Last year a ton of the latter audience left the arena after Madonna had finished performing and never came back, and in every year besides Stockholm it's been surprising how many don't care about the voting bit at all (the best bit for most UK fans) and slowly start going once the last song's been performed.

Prices have varied a lot, from about £100 in 2018 for a good standing place to well over £300 last year (subsequently discounted nearer the time as they had tons of empty spaces due to cost/few deciding it safe to travel to Israel) - this year would have been somewhere in between that, but even before the cancellation I was finding it impossible to actually get a ticket as it felt like the whole of Western Europe was trying this time, finally taking their chance now there was a contest comparatively near them. Accommodation was also insanely highly priced from the moment the Dutch actually won a year earlier, not just in Rotterdam but the whole damn country - my options looked to either be to stay in Antwerp in Belgium where everything was priced normally, or somehow head straight to the airport with all my stuff after the contest and get an early morning flight home. In contrast in Kiev I got a private room not too far from the arena for six quid.

My claim to fame is appearing on camera for about 30 seconds during the 2016 contest, waving like a loon behind Mans the host which is always fun to bring out at house parties. That and my selfie with the 2018 Czech Republic singer who randomly just emerged from the arena while we all were queuing outside and spent ages saying hi to all of us, which was unexpected but fun.

Did you happen to see "Eurovision @ 60 on BBC FOUR this weekend. Loads of interesting little nuggets on all the Eurovisions. All your ones got mentions. I'd forgotten the Lyndsey de Paul one Rock Bottom was a reflection of the state of Britian in the death throes of a benchmark gold standard labour government in 1977. Also Bucks Fizz had an armed guard in Dublin for fear of terrorist attack. It's all so bloody political. Best thing about the whole thing ever was when Isreal gave the German 16 year old 12 points when she won. Sort of draw a line under things.

[Rizla]

Did I hear right that they're just postponing this years contest til next year, with all the same songs and everything? Seems mad if so.

Remember Estonia's 2003 entry, Rufus? I liked them.

Sniff

[Pseudopath]

Did I hear right that they're just postponing this years contest til next year, with all the same songs and everything? Seems mad if so.

Nah...the EBU have already said that this year's songs won't be eligible for the 2021 contest. Nothing stopping countries from sending the same artists (indeed 18 of them have already confirmed they will), but the songs will be different.

[MinnieTimperley]

The talking heads reckon we are always so badly voted down because we are seen as not taking it seriously enough. I think the quote said if we regularly enter the likes of Chris Martin or One Direction we'd clean up. I still not so sure (because England basically). Always wonder why we dont enter our proper bands/artists. Couldn't Dave Bowie have won it?

[Pseudopath]

I hardly think we're the only country to have sent novelty acts to the Eurovision. If politics do come into it, it's probably because they see us as a bunch of parochial, isolationist cunts on a pissant little island in the North Sea. Ireland are immune from this outlook because they're a great bunch of lads and Europe are well aware how they've been shat upon by the UK for the past 500 years.

[MinnieTimperley]

I hardly think we're the only country to have sent novelty acts to the Eurovision. If politics do come into it, it's probably because they see us as a bunch of parochial, isolationist cunts on a pissant little island in the North Sea. Ireland are immune from this outlook because they're a great bunch of lads and Europe are well aware how they've been shat upon by the UK for the past 500 years.

Should that cloud thier minds in judging a song contest do you think.

[Johnny Yesno]

It's because year after year we send an embarrassing, and more importantly, boring pile of shit.

[MinnieTimperley]

It's because year after year we send an embarrassing, and more importantly, boring pile of shit.

Have you actually seen the other contestants? It cant be that.