Author Topic: got a baby  (Read 2921 times)

weekender

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #90 on: May 18, 2020, 08:18:38 PM »
saw his dick

please describe more about how you saw the tadpole dick

were you looking for it?

was the tadpole dick looking for you?

really need more details here

new page timing perfection, ive been waiting for 6+ hours to make this post appear at the top of page 4

Re: got a baby
« Reply #91 on: May 18, 2020, 08:57:19 PM »
Mate you can buy a frog ready made. Check out this guy, Cramwell, cunt's a legend:

https://www.exotic-pets.co.uk/argentinian-horned-frog.html

Re: got a baby
« Reply #92 on: May 18, 2020, 11:46:44 PM »
FUCK IT AND EAT IT!

ZoyzaSorris

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #93 on: May 19, 2020, 08:08:03 AM »
Here's my little buggers, class of 2020. Bunch of toadpoles from a big reed n' rubbish filled pond near the River Pool. There were millions of the buggers and 99% don't make it so think it's fine to take a few and giving them a helping hand to start a new colony.
Because I've got a lot of them in a small tank I've been doing a 50% water change every day (luckily I've got a water distiller). I tried an aquarium filter last year but even with the smallest one I could find the current seemed a bit strong for them, being designed for stagnant pools and all.


Dewt

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #94 on: May 19, 2020, 08:09:17 AM »
Life hits you fast

ZoyzaSorris

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #95 on: May 19, 2020, 08:18:05 AM »
Just for re-emphasis, as I really think I've stumbled on the tadpole dad's life hack par excellence, I really have to say again that I can't recommend microwaving brassica leaves enough, as a brilliant way to make your own all-in-one dried food*
Here's some little broccoli leaves getting turned into pro tadpole food that keeps for a long time (if you only have one tad, a couple of decent leaves will probably last you until it metamorphosises). You really don't need to feed them anything else until they grow their back legs by which point a little bit of crumbled egg yolk for added protein is a good idea. Be careful though as protein-rich foods foul the water a lot quicker than the greens.





*one thing I would say is do wash it - especially if shop bought as could have pesticides on it - but don't put it into the microwave wet as the water droplets can focus the beams and set small cabbagey explosions off that burn little bits of the leaf.

kittens

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #96 on: May 19, 2020, 02:59:45 PM »
can't stop thinking about a big bee going into his bucket and picking him up and flying away with him and stinging him then dropping him on the floor. can't stop thinking about shoving him in the gap between my eyeball and eye socket and having him trapped in the back of my eye. is this normal?

Re: got a baby
« Reply #97 on: May 19, 2020, 09:41:41 PM »
Don't worry, kittens. Tadpoles is tough. One night, two years ago, my boy and his grandma came back from the lake with a bucket holding such a legless boye, a squiggle, the wee apostrophe.

We put it in a fish bowl with a lettuce petal on top, for shelter and keep, to acclimatise the lad. I didn't want him in the main tank, in gen-pop, where they were vicious and extremely hostile to newcomers. I remembered the charmingly fat, wiggling molly that we put in there once, hoping it would amuse and delight the bellicose scaly crew who ran the tank. It didn't. The other fish immediately made it as a nonce and that night they did it prison-style. They poured boiling air over its face, chewed out its eyes and left its body strung up under the filter hanging on a lariat of duckweed. It was like San Pedro in there. Proper Mexican cartel shit.

So our sweet amputee was kept in seg. Unfortunately, after a few days of bumping snout against all dimensions of the tiny bowl in his lettuce-mulch soup, he seemed to lose his joie de tadpole, bobbing like a currant and refusing tic tacs, cheerios, not even responding to "we all stand together (the frog song)" which is like the tadpole national anthem. I made preparations for his death and sent my son to bed.
That night though, rather than cast him off the balcony or down the u-bend, I dumped him in with the fish, to take his chances. Sink or swim, literally. I thought I'd never see him again.
About a week and a half later, I was about to clean the tank, toss the cells of the tough guys, maybe put one of them in solitary for eating the others' stringy shit bunting, and oh shit son, look, what is that on the glass up near the top of the tank?



This little amphibi-boss. He got himself out. You don't know. That nightmare underwater-dome death box, the yards, the showers. The gourami Don hunting for cholos, his entourage of neutered guppies. he got himself OUT. Pushed out arms and legs and crawled through a mile of guts and shit.
We scooped him into a little plastic box and took him downstairs to the lake, watched him frog off into the mud and sticks. A tough little man, that frog.
He got hisself out.

ZoyzaSorris

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #98 on: May 19, 2020, 11:09:24 PM »
Lovely tale as usual GT. I reckon he was nails because he was a baby toad, judging by what I can tell from your pic. Poisonous innit (and just generally tough fuckers).

ZoyzaSorris

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #99 on: May 19, 2020, 11:16:55 PM »
can't stop thinking about a big bee going into his bucket and picking him up and flying away with him and stinging him then dropping him on the floor. can't stop thinking about shoving him in the gap between my eyeball and eye socket and having him trapped in the back of my eye. is this normal?

YES. Whenever I’m in charge of the welfare of any small non-human creatures I start having nightmares in which  something awful happens to them usually due to my neglect and general failure as a responsible human being, so it obviously affects my psyche profoundly in a way that doesn’t seem true for my actual human child. This is why my forays in animal husbandry tend to be quite short-lived.

Re: got a baby
« Reply #100 on: May 19, 2020, 11:41:35 PM »
Lovely tale as usual GT. I reckon he was nails because he was a baby toad, judging by what I can tell from your pic. Poisonous innit (and just generally tough fuckers).

I think you are right. No one fucks with the toad.

Dewt

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #101 on: May 19, 2020, 11:44:54 PM »
YES. Whenever I’m in charge of the welfare of any small non-human creatures I start having nightmares in which  something awful happens to them usually due to my neglect and general failure as a responsible human being, so it obviously affects my psyche profoundly in a way that doesn’t seem true for my actual human child. This is why my forays in animal husbandry tend to be quite short-lived.
Sometimes I worry that my cats will deliberately feed their delicate ears into the paper shredder.

Re: got a baby
« Reply #102 on: May 20, 2020, 12:03:39 AM »
stick it down your urethra so it can live in your balls and maybe be a real baby one day

ZoyzaSorris

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #103 on: May 20, 2020, 12:08:04 AM »
Sometimes I worry that my cats will deliberately feed their delicate ears into the paper shredder.

Haha that’s exactly the kind of mad nerve wracking bullshit.

gib

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #104 on: May 25, 2020, 02:49:14 PM »
update?

weekender

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #105 on: May 25, 2020, 02:53:22 PM »
Is it dead yet?

weekender

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #106 on: May 25, 2020, 05:17:57 PM »
Come on, it must be dead by now.

Re: got a baby
« Reply #107 on: May 25, 2020, 07:54:44 PM »
Has its head bit and tail bit merged into a singular frog bit? I like the head bit of a tadpole. Only animal I can think of that is made of two bits, and that is special.

weekender

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #108 on: May 25, 2020, 08:02:45 PM »
Only animal I can think of that is made of two bits

What about the back and front of a cow?

kittens

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #109 on: May 25, 2020, 08:06:11 PM »
been out all day. just checked and he is alive and well. sides of his bucket are going green. i don't know if this is bad or normal. fed him his algae wafer and he's just kinda sitting there but when i nudge him he swims about. no noticeable change in size or shape.

weekender

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #110 on: May 25, 2020, 08:09:14 PM »
you're not trying hard enough to kill it

Re: got a baby
« Reply #111 on: May 25, 2020, 08:15:44 PM »
it is going to eat you and when it does im gonna have a big wank

weekender

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #112 on: May 25, 2020, 08:23:20 PM »
this is how godzilla started and i hope it's how you end

Dex Sawash

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #113 on: May 25, 2020, 10:06:49 PM »
Pringles

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Re: got a baby
« Reply #114 on: May 26, 2020, 02:48:19 AM »
have a really sexy lady frog* in an adjacent transparent container that it can't access


* wearing lipstick and false lashes

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