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Celeb Reekers: who stinks in real life?

Started by Fr.Bigley, May 17, 2020, 11:30:36 PM

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Pickled Onion Monster Munch*



(*Courtesy BoldwynPig)

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth


Blue Jam

On second thoughts, Judd Trump probably smells of whatever expensive lotions his Harley Street trichologist prescribes.

Stephen Hendry is probably quite fragrant, but with a basenote of Midlife Crisis.

Fr.Bigley

And Captain Tom Moore smells like Biryani..well his cock does.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Pingers on May 18, 2020, 10:05:50 AM
Russell Grant smells of lavender, peppermint and his budgerigars; his "pretties".

That fucker definitely reeks of patchouli.

pigamus


Pingers

John Leslie's cock smells of your mum. And you sisters, and all of your aunts.

Sebastian Cobb


Pingers

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on May 18, 2020, 01:00:21 PM
Certainly, Visa or MasterCard?

Sure you don't want paying Father, I still have the photographs.

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 18, 2020, 01:21:53 PM
I bet Mick Hucknall kiffed.

It's the pissy ginger smell innit? Like Bianca from EastEnders and that ed Sheeran Lad- not even a motley crue groupie would lick that length

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: Pingers on May 18, 2020, 01:24:12 PM
Sure you don't want paying Father, I still have the photographs.

As you are my son. I'll send instructions immediately

Sebastian Cobb

Well that and the fact he claimed to be a massive shagger and looked like he needed a bath.

Butchers Blind

Mark Francois stinks of the chip fat from a back alley kebab shop.

PowerButchi

Darts player Ted Hanley was called B. O. Baracus when he'd play darts around here.

Beyoncé's hair might well smell of Lenor, if former Metro celeb gossip columnist and 'Travelodge's First Ever Writer In Residence', Neil Sean, is to be be believed.  This is from his magnum opus 'How to Live Like a Celebrity for Free':



I'm sure one of Seany's other top revelations was that Prince William created his own enigmatic fragrance by mixing two different eau de colognes, to give the impression of wearing an exclusive fragrance unavailable to the lumpen masses, but perhaps the Palace suppressed this revelation, as I can't find it.

I had fun revisiting this excellent thread from 2015 scrutinising some of Seany's top tips though -

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,49799.0.html

Sebastian Cobb


The Lurker

Quote from: Clatty McCutcheon on May 18, 2020, 01:51:16 PM
Beyoncé's hair might well smell of Lenor, if former Metro celeb gossip columnist and 'Travelodge's First Ever Writer In Residence', Neil Sean, is to be be believed.  This is from his magnum opus 'How to Live Like a Celebrity for Free':



I'm sure one of Seany's other top revelations was that Prince William created his own enigmatic fragrance by mixing two different eau de colognes, to give the impression of wearing an exclusive fragrance unavailable to the lumpen masses, but perhaps the Palace suppressed this revelation, as I can't find it.

I had fun revisiting this excellent thread from 2015 scrutinising some of Seany's top tips though -

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,49799.0.html

Good old Neil Sean. As demonstrated by Dave Gorman, his Doctor Who DVD is a sight to behold too: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6ew6hc

Jockice

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on May 18, 2020, 01:24:35 PM
It's the pissy ginger smell innit? Like Bianca from EastEnders and that ed Sheeran Lad- not even a motley crue groupie would lick that length

My piss smells lovely, I'll have you know.


Blue Jam


idunnosomename

Quote from: pigamus on May 18, 2020, 11:49:15 AM
Why would the radiator be on on the hottest day of summer
he never said it was

Blue Jam

I can't find it now, but I remember that Mumsnet thread about celebrity encounters, and how one poster said she'd met Johnny Depp and that he was beautiful "but he absolutely stank of fags, which ruined it a bit". That's all I can think about when I see him now.

Aaron Paul is probably all fragrant and squeaky-clean but he always looked a bit grubby in Breaking Bad.

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 18, 2020, 02:52:39 PM
I can't find it now, but I remember that Mumsnet thread about celebrity encounters, and how one poster said she'd met Johnny Depp and that he was beautiful "but he absolutely stank of fags, which ruined it a bit". That's all I can think about when I see him now.

Aaron Paul is probably all fragrant and squeaky-clean but he always looked a bit grubby in Breaking Bad.

Fags and his fragrance, sausage.

GoblinAhFuckScary



Well there you go then. For some reason Charles gives me the feeling of being in a slightly sticky cinema

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on May 18, 2020, 02:58:28 PM


Well there you go then. For some reason Charles gives me the feeling of being in a slightly sticky cinema

This thing stinks for more reasons than his sharty undies. Odious little creature and wasn't there some bullshite about him talking shit about the woman that made him. He strikes me as the prick who'd provoke you into smacking him so he could immediately press charges.

Jittlebags

Sir Teddy "Bone Marrow" Taylor smells of ospihrage.

GoblinAhFuckScary

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on May 18, 2020, 03:00:21 PM
This thing stinks for more reasons than his sharty undies. Odious little creature and wasn't there some bullshite about him talking shit about the woman that made him. He strikes me as the prick who'd provoke you into smacking him so he could immediately press charges.

Any and every influencer is a certain kind of scum and their own circle of hell is currently under construction.

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on May 18, 2020, 03:06:01 PM
Any and every influencer is a certain kind of scum and their own circle of hell is currently under construction.

One hundred percent agreed, and not a moment too soon.

pigamus

Quote from: idunnosomename on May 18, 2020, 02:49:44 PM
he never said it was

But why would you put them on the radiator soaked in piss on the hottest day

You'd put them outside surely

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: GoblinAhFuckScary on May 18, 2020, 02:58:28 PM


Well there you go then. For some reason Charles gives me the feeling of being in a slightly sticky cinema

Who was that geezer on the auction channels who kept farting?