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"We're all a family" Colleagues n shite

Started by Clownbaby, May 18, 2020, 12:03:41 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

idunnosomename

Quote from: Tony Tony Tony on May 18, 2020, 10:08:03 PM
It's Karen from Accounts birthday on Friday, and it's a biggie.

Any CaBbers who forget to wish her a great day will be forced to walk the streets wearing sackcloth and shall be roundly whipped.
finally something to look forward to

Mr_Simnock

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on May 18, 2020, 08:24:18 PM
No it was indeed 100 percent true, Oliver reed was the uncle of or HR exec. Also we were told performance related bonuses could be paid in vouchers to go to space with bono.. are you numb?

fuck off you third rate sock puppet

Dewt

Quote from: Mr_Simnock on May 19, 2020, 01:20:45 AM
fuck off you third rate sock puppet
Genuinely interested in the criteria for a sock puppet being first or second rate.

Sebastian Cobb



Dewt

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 19, 2020, 01:48:07 AM
Why, are you trying to level up?
Who is a good enough poster here for me to be their sock? Nobody is who

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Mr_Simnock on May 19, 2020, 01:20:45 AM
fuck off you third rate sock puppet

Looks like Mr. S got well and truly Biglied. Quite an unseemly reaction on his part.

Mr_Simnock

Quote from: Dewt on May 19, 2020, 01:44:59 AM
Genuinely interested in the criteria for a sock puppet being first or second rate.

Ashbury was first rate, don't think anyone suspected them of being one for quite a while, good performance I thought. This Fr.Bigley is like a someone trying to ape the boston crab's lowest output. I haven't fully fleshed out my criteria for a second rate one.

Fr.Bigley

Quote from: Mr_Simnock on May 19, 2020, 12:20:16 PM
Ashbury was first rate, don't think anyone suspected them of being one for quite a while, good performance I thought. This Fr.Bigley is like a someone trying to ape the boston crab's lowest output. I haven't fully fleshed out my criteria for a second rate one.

I got more a rise out of this than sister Joan did with her breakfast muffins. Feeling vulnerable now.

chveik

Quote from: Mr_Simnock on May 19, 2020, 12:20:16 PM
Ashbury was first rate, don't think anyone suspected them of being one for quite a while, good performance I thought. This Fr.Bigley is like a someone trying to ape the boston crab's lowest output. I haven't fully fleshed out my criteria for a second rate one.

this is only happening in your head.

Mr_Simnock

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on May 19, 2020, 12:33:02 PM
I got more a rise out of this than sister Joan did with her breakfast muffins. Feeling vulnerable now.

it annoyed you enough to post mate so...

*tag* Sister Sledge running short on lyrical inspiration *tag*

Donnas Cakes

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on May 18, 2020, 02:04:05 PM
Better not have been fucking dry, if so get on that cunting cake thread.

I cannot stand workplace cake. Firstly, the quality is often not great. Secondly, it means eating cake at the wrong time of the day. Thirdly, there is the interpersonal relationship aspect.

thugler

I think I possibly come off as a bit of a miserable fuck at work. Visibly not enjoying being there, never eating any of the constant cakes and biscuits everyone is constantly guzzling down. I was invited to a lockdown 'work' whatsapp group, thinking it would be about work, instead it was about people posting memes/pictures of their dogs. Left quite promptly.

Birdie

One of my colleagues also has a cheesecake shop.

Cheesecake, the best kind of cake.

We get birthday cheesecake.

Hmm.

Cake.

Tony Tony Tony

Come back Thugler... we are missing you miserable fuck


notjosh

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 18, 2020, 01:05:44 PM
I worked at one place where HR put people's birthdays at the bottom of the daily newsletter.

I make a point of informing any HR person at a new job that I want my date of birth kept secret and nothing done to mark my birthday. I usually try to couch it in insecurities like saying all the attention makes me anxious or something, rather than just being a miserable cunt who has no interest in exchanging pleasantries with my colleagues any more than is necessary to do my job.

Pingers

Quote from: Donnas Cakes on May 20, 2020, 08:23:52 AM
Secondly, it means eating cake at the wrong time of the day.

Mate, have I got some news for you.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: notjosh on May 20, 2020, 11:54:19 AM
I make a point of informing any HR person at a new job that I want my date of birth kept secret and nothing done to mark my birthday. I usually try to couch it in insecurities like saying all the attention makes me anxious or something, rather than just being a miserable cunt who has no interest in exchanging pleasantries with my colleagues any more than is necessary to do my job.

I'd do that but I worry I'd be marking myself out as a difficult curmudgeon. I mean, I am, but I also like to keep my head below the parapet.

Paul Calf


Dewt

It's a commutative property so what you've done there is point out that I am at least as good as every poster on this site

Quote from: Donnas Cakes on May 20, 2020, 08:23:52 AM
I cannot stand workplace cake. Firstly, the quality is often not great. Secondly, it means eating cake at the wrong time of the day. Thirdly, there is the interpersonal relationship aspect.

And there's this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzMAYhLzB3c

Dewt

Aww, Cardinal Burns being quoted in a positive light! Good for you Cardinal Burns. Good for you.

Dewt


Jockice

Back in my working days a couple of women who worked in our canteen came to our department collecting money to buy a birthday present for one of their colleagues. I'd probably have put a quid or two in but a woman who sat near me really objected to it, basically saying they should stick to their own kind and nobody from editorial would have the cheek to go up to the canteen and ask them for money. So they slunk off before reaching me.

Fair point I suppose although she could have put it a bit more politely. I did get The Fall's Peel Sessions box set for my 40th from my workmates but I think that was the only time that my birthday was even acknowledged there.


Tony Tony Tony

Had a tearful call from Karen in accounts this morning. She waited up till midnight yesterday and not a single one of you cunts wished her a happy birthday.

Captain Z

I suggest we all have a 'wear your funniest item of clothing' Zoom meeting on tuesday morning to make up for it.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Captain Z on May 23, 2020, 04:54:00 PM
I suggest we all have a 'wear your funniest item of clothing' Zoom meeting on tuesday morning to make up for it.

One of my mates has been put through a load of degrading mandatory fun on their conference calls. Having to tell 'two truths and a lie' about themselves etc.

At one point he said they needed to submit their MVP of the covid crisis from within the organisation.