Author Topic: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops  (Read 4951 times)

MojoJojo

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So I've just been to aliexpress to buy some new brushes for Hoover Dan, my vacuum slave. I got a bit curious about what the clothing was like and came across these shorts, which are perfectly fine except for the picture used to illustrate them :


Damn, spoiler tags don't work on images. Guess Barry's done that to stop people thinking NSFW images are OK if spoilered.



I mean, why?!? Is it some confused language/cultural misunderstanding about what is meant by breathable? Or maybe it's to convince you of their robustness, that your mighty farts will not tear them.

Anyway, this reminded me of the times I've spent looking at Wish adverts on facebook trying to work out what the hell the thing I'm looking at is supposed to be. Unless it's obviously a sex toy, which iit often is. The split seems to be one third sex toy, one third baffling, and one third baffling possibly sex toy. If I was a good poster I would have picked out a few to entertain you with but I'm supposed to be working, so I'll turn that over to you.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2020, 11:50:50 AM »
So many cunts on youtube seem to have made a living buying cheap shit on Wish and cynically reviewing it not working.

"hur hur this $10 drone is terrible in even a mild breeze and the onboard camera is terrible too!"

Just monetising the consumerism of crap that's going straight into landfill, they might as well be reviewing things you find in christmas crackers.

Dex Sawash

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2020, 12:48:02 PM »

Love browsing Wish, have a bunch of shit in my cart but have never ordered.


Fake edit- just checked and 7 of 10 things in cart no longer available.

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2020, 12:50:17 PM »
I've bought a few things from wish and that's I got mild coronavirus over Christmas.

Ambient Sheep

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2020, 01:53:32 PM »

Damn, spoiler tags don't work on images. Guess Barry's done that to stop people thinking NSFW images are OK if spoilered.

Spot on:

The rule on CaB has always been that images that are not safe for work should not be embedded, for fear that people can lose their job over some knob shot.  This is why spoiler tags are now only capable of hiding text - the old ones used to be able to hide images; people think that's safe, but they get pre-loaded.

Blue Jam

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #5 on: May 20, 2020, 06:51:27 PM »
I've bought a few things from wish and that's I got mild coronavirus over Christmas.

Q. What did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas?

A. Some Nic Cage leggings from Wish

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #6 on: May 20, 2020, 08:04:34 PM »
I imagine the shorts have a filter built in to supposedly remove the smell from farts, making them a silent but deadly threat a bit like Covid19.



I ordered these trainers from Wish last year, and was expecting them to not fit and/or fall apart. They're actually not that bad and haven't fallen apart at all. But then I was wearing them and accidentally stepped in a load of dog shit in my friend's garden and even after squirting the bottoms with a hose realised I'd have to literally chisel out the stuff from all the nooks and crannies in the springy treads, which was not fun.

Love browsing Wish, have a bunch of shit in my cart but have never ordered.

Fake edit- just checked and 7 of 10 things in cart no longer available.

Those children were already trafficked over for Captain Tom.

touchingcloth

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2020, 09:21:34 PM »
What is Wish? EBay clone?

Dewt

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2020, 09:59:06 PM »
I've bought a few things from wish and that's I got mild coronavirus over Christmas.
Haha yeah all right casual racism high five

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2020, 10:21:32 PM »

I ordered these trainers from Wish last year, and was expecting them to not fit and/or fall apart. They're actually not that bad and haven't fallen apart at all. But then I was wearing them and accidentally stepped in a load of dog shit in my friend's garden and even after squirting the bottoms with a hose realised I'd have to literally chisel out the stuff from all the nooks and crannies in the springy treads, which was not fun.


I trod in my neighbour's dog's shit when getting my washing in, I was wearing slippers with that really tight zig-zag tread. Washing machine got it all out though thankfully.

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2020, 10:23:34 PM »
Haha yeah all right casual racism high five

Get this on twitter.

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2020, 10:24:37 PM »
Haha yeah all right casual racism high five

Calm down.

Dewt

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2020, 10:27:13 PM »
fucking hell you are a depressing pair.

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2020, 10:31:12 PM »
How?

bgmnts

  • Depressed to the point of poisonous toxicity.
Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2020, 10:32:30 PM »
How?

He's looking at his testicles and typed without thinking.

Dewt

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bgmnts

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #16 on: May 20, 2020, 10:37:03 PM »
lol

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2020, 10:39:46 PM »
Just witless and pesky

You're the one who got overexcited about a purposely (?) low-effort joke.

Funcrusher

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #18 on: May 20, 2020, 10:44:52 PM »
He's looking at his testicles and typed without thinking.

Quality riposte.

Dewt

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #19 on: May 20, 2020, 10:49:01 PM »
You're the one who got overexcited about a purposely (?) low-effort joke.
overexcited

He was gently called out about sinophobia in a time when it's a massive problem. Sit down.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2020, 11:01:56 PM by Dewt »

bgmnts

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #20 on: May 20, 2020, 11:34:48 PM »
#editglitch

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #21 on: May 20, 2020, 11:34:58 PM »
The recommended search terms are like TalkToConverter trying to generate scenarios/character treatments for soft porn:

lanyard princess
black butler
cover mouth
character strap
pillow undertale
ho oh
stuf rabbit

Clicked on 'character strap' and disappointed by how un-NSFW the results are tbh.

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #22 on: May 21, 2020, 01:18:33 AM »
I trod in my neighbour's dog's shit when getting my washing in, I was wearing slippers with that really tight zig-zag tread. Washing machine got it all out though thankfully.

Shame all their stuff came out smelling like dogshit.

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #23 on: May 21, 2020, 02:16:15 AM »
I like the strange and often surreal clothes you can find on Romwe, one of the main Chinese clothing resellers. Some examples here: www.instagram.com/romweird/

thenoise

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #24 on: May 21, 2020, 07:26:07 AM »
I imagine the shorts have a filter built in to supposedly remove the smell from farts, making them a silent but deadly threat a bit like Covid19.
I used to be fascinated by the 'embarrassment filter' underpants that used to feature in that old people catalogue that used to fall out of my parents' copy of the Radio Times.  Where does the fart stink go?
Does it remain suspended in the pants all day, releasing an ungodly odour when you take them off to go to bed?  Does it get absorbed by the material - surely causing a build-up effect, eventually making you stink like you've shat yourself, a stink that is deeply engrained and won't go away with any amount of wafting?  Is there a slow release of the aroma over time - possibly the best solution, unless there are very eagle minded noses around you.

The illustration doesn't look like the gas is being blocked by the shorts at all, if anything, it is being less hindered than usual.

Paul Calf

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #25 on: May 21, 2020, 08:44:53 AM »
overexcited

He was gently called out about sinophobia in a time when it's a massive problem. Sit down.

Properly sneaky abuse of the passive verb form here.

Paul Calf

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #26 on: May 21, 2020, 08:48:42 AM »
I used to be fascinated by the 'embarrassment filter' underpants that used to feature in that old people catalogue that used to fall out of my parents' copy of the Radio Times.  Where does the fart stink go?
Does it remain suspended in the pants all day, releasing an ungodly odour when you take them off to go to bed?  Does it get absorbed by the material - surely causing a build-up effect, eventually making you stink like you've shat yourself, a stink that is deeply engrained and won't go away with any amount of wafting?  Is there a slow release of the aroma over time - possibly the best solution, unless there are very eagle minded noses around you.

The illustration doesn't look like the gas is being blocked by the shorts at all, if anything, it is being less hindered than usual.

They advertise these in the bogs at Northern motorway service areas these days. There’s controversy as to whether they actually work, but the washing and care instructions are deliberately complex so you’re unlikely to get your money back in the event of a complaint.

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #27 on: May 21, 2020, 09:29:27 AM »
Can’t copy these images from amazon, dunno why, sorry:

Panda he disgrace village

Daughter must learn no disgrace village

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #28 on: May 21, 2020, 09:31:50 AM »
I used to be fascinated by the 'embarrassment filter' underpants that used to feature in that old people catalogue that used to fall out of my parents' copy of the Radio Times.  Where does the fart stink go?
Does it remain suspended in the pants all day, releasing an ungodly odour when you take them off to go to bed?  Does it get absorbed by the material - surely causing a build-up effect, eventually making you stink like you've shat yourself, a stink that is deeply engrained and won't go away with any amount of wafting?  Is there a slow release of the aroma over time - possibly the best solution, unless there are very eagle minded noses around you.

The illustration doesn't look like the gas is being blocked by the shorts at all, if anything, it is being less hindered than usual.

I briefly worked on a weighbridge at a tip. One of the guys was on an 8 tin a night booze habit. He used to fart in his waders and have to shake it out the bottom, a bit like a guffy great escape.

Re: The utterly baffling world of wish and other Chinese shops
« Reply #29 on: May 21, 2020, 09:46:19 AM »
I had to get a refund for a clipper set recently.

I didn't get the clippers, I got earrings, at least that is what it said on the packet. When I opened it to taker photos, the earrings were not in there.

Instead I received a little sticky label with a picture of a parrot on it.

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