Author Topic: Meadows coming back  (Read 1042 times)

Meadows coming back
« on: May 19, 2020, 06:18:02 PM »
Normally the council people will come round and cut our front lawn. I guess the last time was 8or9weeks ago. I was just putting the bins out and felt like I was in a meadow with all the flying insects about.

It reminded me of a time upto the late 80's early 90's where if you drove down a country road your windscreen would be splattered with bugs.

time is weird etc...

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2020, 06:29:21 PM »
/Tereasa May

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2020, 06:31:10 PM »
Why would the council cut your front lawn for you?

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2020, 06:34:42 PM »
Why would the council cut your front lawn for you?

Because they love him. They think he's ace.

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2020, 06:49:32 PM »
Because they love him. They think he's ace.

I am ace ;nods;. I also live in a council/housing associationg place. I pay an extra 1.5somthing on top of rent so some dudes in orange jackets come round and mow my lawn every few weeks.

I guess the irony being that I then go round to my gramps and mow his lawn every few weeks(not to his satisfaction)

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2020, 06:50:54 PM »
I hope he's paying you, and you better be declaring that for tax!

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2020, 07:00:46 PM »
I originally thought this thread might be alluding to a The Sopranos spin off.

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2020, 07:07:20 PM »
Normally the council people will come round and cut our front lawn. I guess the last time was 8or9weeks ago. I was just putting the bins out and felt like I was in a meadow with all the flying insects about.

It reminded me of a time upto the late 80's early 90's where if you drove down a country road your windscreen would be splattered with bugs.

time is weird etc...

This tells us all we need to know that lawns are twats[1].
 1. Green Deserts

Neomod

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2020, 07:11:04 PM »
I pay an extra 1.5 something on top of rent

1 Guinea 5 shillings?

I actually came in here thinking there's a new film from our Shane on the horizon.

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2020, 08:16:11 PM »
We were never allowed a meadow growing up. Meadows had daisies in, and daisies were weeds. "Not those fucking daisies!" father would say each morning, and we would all troop outside in our wellington boots and kill the daisies. Many plants in that garden were more deserving of his vitriol, many plants were liberal in their application of rashes and punctures, but it was the daisies we killed. Each Christmas I would ask only for two things, a flipbook of me hitting puberty and a meadow of my very own, and each Christmas I was disappointed. I think it was insecurity, Father was of the first TV generation and was reared on Bill and Ben the flower pot men, and it must have become clear to him, with mounting horror, that Little Weed was not only not little, but larger than either of the flower pot men and capable of preying on them.

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #10 on: May 19, 2020, 08:23:30 PM »
Simon Rouse leaves thread disappointed.

Kryton

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2020, 08:45:30 PM »
In a few years we'll all be forgotten behind a curtain of impenetrable grass. Slaves to seasonal television and basic cannibalism, entombed inside an organic, cubic tomb. Curtains nothing but organic matter, glass double glazing a dream long smashed. Encroaching roots a terrible normality. The reassuring yet invasive hum of insects, the only song.

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2020, 08:48:41 PM »
Fun fact 97% of wild flower meadows have gone from the UK since the 1930's, no wonder we have a big loss in insect numbers here too

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2020, 08:50:58 PM »
I originally thought this thread might be alluding to a The Sopranos spin off.

Did you see Christopher and Bobby (can't remember their real names) have just started up a podcast where they talk about one episode per week starting with the pilot? Half an episode in and it's quite enjoyable.

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2020, 09:08:55 PM »
We were never allowed a meadow growing up. Meadows had daisies in, and daisies were weeds. "Not those fucking daisies!" father would say each morning, and we would all troop outside in our wellington boots and kill the daisies. Many plants in that garden were more deserving of his vitriol, many plants were liberal in their application of rashes and punctures, but it was the daisies we killed. Each Christmas I would ask only for two things, a flipbook of me hitting puberty and a meadow of my very own, and each Christmas I was disappointed. I think it was insecurity, Father was of the first TV generation and was reared on Bill and Ben the flower pot men, and it must have become clear to him, with mounting horror, that Little Weed was not only not little, but larger than either of the flower pot men and capable of preying on them.

I have never had the chance to say, and I probably won't get the chance again. Pijlstaart your posts make me smile. keep posting.

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2020, 09:10:42 PM »
They're still doing the big patch of communal grass outside the place I'm living.

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2020, 09:21:34 PM »
The opportunities for being startled by a moth have never been higher. I, too, remember the dirty windscreens of yore, what journalist and author Michael McCarthy dubs “the moth snowstorm.” I would be asleep in the back of a dodgy Cortina, when we’d all jump at the arrival of a moth splodge across the driver’s side. As the Lepidopteran pie was heaved onto the asphalt by a rudimentary 80s wiper, we’d allow ourself a collective chortle. Then came a long fallow period, a want of moths in the air that lingered on my life. No surprises, just the reliable circus of the quotidian, an enfeebled ringmaster leaning on a broken lion. But with this excellent virus, the meadows once again know the wingbeats of moths, and I walk abroad from my cul-de-sac with the sure knowledge that some grey-winged cunt will burst out from behind a lamppost and startle the almighty fuck out of me anew.

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2020, 12:04:08 AM »

It reminded me of a time upto the late 80's early 90's where if you drove down a country road your windscreen would be splattered with bugs.

time is weird etc...

You hear this a lot but nobody seems to consider, that maybe the insects finally learned that keeping away from roads is a good idea.

The fellow across the road likes to get his big powerful mower with a long lead and mow the fairly large grass verge in front of his place. Am I supposed to call him out on this now? As if there isn't enough going on. I'll see him on Thursday though.

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #18 on: May 20, 2020, 12:06:31 AM »
You hear this a lot but nobody seems to consider, that maybe the insects finally learned that keeping away from roads is a good idea.

Or, as is more likely, car and glass technology has become much more aerodynamic and splatter resistant.

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #19 on: May 20, 2020, 12:24:48 AM »
I pay an extra 1.5somthing

Ouch! I had to pay an extra 1.5somthing once and it still hurts.

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #20 on: May 20, 2020, 12:42:09 AM »
Or, as is more likely, car and glass technology has become much more aerodynamic and splatter resistant.

Fraid not - they did tests using vintage cars alongside modern ones, and found that the modern cars actually splattered slightly more.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/feb/12/car-splatometer-tests-reveal-huge-decline-number-insects

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #21 on: May 20, 2020, 01:28:38 AM »
Simon Rouse leaves thread disappointed.

+1

(Are we allowed to do that? I've been away and it's hard enough not using emojis)

Mr_Simnock

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #22 on: May 20, 2020, 01:36:29 AM »
Yes you can do that. The in thing now (since you've been away) now on the board is list threads mentioning all the banned members you can think of

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #23 on: May 20, 2020, 06:18:20 AM »
Yes you can do that. The in thing now (since you've been away) now on the board is list threads mentioning all the banned members you can think of

You rascal.


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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #24 on: May 20, 2020, 06:49:15 AM »
Or, as is more likely, car and glass technology has become much more aerodynamic and splatter resistant.

Nope. Happens with bike helmet visors too. Insect populations are in decline and it matters.

https://www.nationalgeographic.co.uk/environment/2019/02/why-insect-populations-are-plummeting-and-why-it-matters

Be careful what you put out into the culture.

Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #25 on: May 20, 2020, 08:10:09 AM »
Fun fact 97% of wild flower meadows have gone from the UK since the 1930's, no wonder we have a big loss in insect numbers here too

Personally I hate insects and I am delighted to hear this. If they would all just fuck off to africa or somewhere hot etc I would be ecstatic.

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #26 on: May 20, 2020, 09:15:41 AM »
This tells us all we need to know that lawns are twats[1].
 1. Green Deserts

Probably safest if we replace them all with that fake grass stuff, right?

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #27 on: May 20, 2020, 09:48:58 AM »
Fun fact 97% of wild flower meadows have gone from the UK since the 1930's, no wonder we have a big loss in insect numbers here too

Well where did they go?

Mr_Simnock

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Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #28 on: May 20, 2020, 10:04:57 AM »
Well where did they go?

Turned into either the standard green desert for sheep or cows or turned over for veg. Modern farming, wiping out UK wildlife since the 1900's. About 95% of fens have also gone too, all drained for the same thing. The only thing that actually increased last century was tree coverage but then again a lot of that was for those useless quick growing furs so farmers could claim subsidies the sponging gits.




Re: Meadows coming back
« Reply #29 on: May 20, 2020, 10:11:38 AM »
Simon Rouse leaves thread disappointed.
I love that this was my first thought before The Sopranos.

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