Author Topic: Compulsive lying.  (Read 2113 times)

Compulsive lying.
« on: May 22, 2020, 04:06:59 AM »
Anyone else have this particular affliction? I have to tell a couple of silly untruths every day, such as claiming I went to a different shop than the one I did, or denying I've seen a film that I've watched when asked.

Or do I?...etc etc.

Buelligan

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2020, 07:38:21 AM »
I think you should stop it.  Train yourself out if you can.  Used to know someone rather well who did this.  Started off accepting their behaviour as a sort of nervous tic, an odd foible.  Ended up feeling utterly damaged by their game.  Sure it's not intentional but the side-effects can be life-changing.  And not in a good way.

Retinend

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2020, 11:36:38 AM »
Were you ashamed of the supermarket you went to?

Captain Z

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2020, 11:40:39 AM »
Yes, I do this too!

Captain Z

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2020, 11:41:10 AM »
Nah, not really.

Twit 2

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2020, 11:43:12 AM »
I have a friend who lies about inconsequential shit all the time. It’s so bizarre. I can understand big lies, but why change the small details of things, when the actual detail is just as banal?

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2020, 11:43:54 AM »
^^^^ yea thiss ^^^^^

in 1985 I lived in lombardy drive in vinters park.

A kid who lived opposite me became my best friend.

but he COULD NOT tell the truth. he lied about andything/everything

I just accepted it as a charachter flooor.

but it meant I could never trust him.

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2020, 11:52:26 AM »
YEA SURE mate you sawd steam trains at maidstone east.


whatever.

EDIT: for exsample he had a mate whos saxo vtr could do 140mph.

I pushed him on this because lol no, but he was absolutely certain.

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2020, 12:06:11 PM »
I am working on it and never make bold claims, I was just wondering if anyone had this particular itch. As I said, the lies are so inconsequential that I think most people don't notice. My Dad did bring it up casually that I occasionally tell find though.

Dex Sawash

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #9 on: May 22, 2020, 12:10:49 PM »

<Insert fabricated anecdote about notorious liar>

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #10 on: May 22, 2020, 12:13:10 PM »
I'm not a compulsive liar by the way, I was actually talking about my friend. He's in the SAS.

Ray Travez

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #11 on: May 22, 2020, 12:19:35 PM »
I have a friend who is a compulsive liar, but I didn't find out for about twenty years. The conversation went something like

-so, did you ever have a thing with Susie?

-no, I'm straight

-I thought you were bisexual?

-oh! *laughs* no, I'm a compulsive liar. I have to stop doing it- I can't remember what I've told people. I meet someone after years and they have some weird belief about me that I've forgotten I told them

-so I'm guessing you're not a paranoid schizophrenic either?

-no

-right

It kind of made sense that she was schizophrenic when she told me. One of the things she did was cut the heads off dolls and arrange them in a frieze with barbed wire and menstrual blood etc. It turns out that this wasn't a symptom of schizophrenia, it was "being at art school."

(To be fair to my friend, her art is powerful and strangely beautiful; she's the most creative person I know)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #12 on: May 22, 2020, 12:24:06 PM »
I remember doing this at times as a kid, not at primary school where I had a solid group of friends and less sense of peer pressure, but at secondary school which for me was very tough and competitive in all senses. I suppose it was to try and be liked or gain acceptance from others, all through being insecure and feeling that being myself wasn't enough. It wasn't compulsive but there would be occasions which looking back now with the benefit of hindsight just seem weird.

I remember this dragging on into uni although by that time I was using it as a survival mechanism to conceal or lessen things I had or had not done.

In both cases looking back, there was little value other than perhaps the mildest of white lies. As things developed and got worse on a personal level there was enough evidence that doing this wasn't profitable. I never really sat down and thought about it or made any conscious effort in that regard but I have tried to live life out in the open. Since being in longer relationships that has helped my confidence and obviously travelling around a lot and gaining life experience means that you have stuff to say, even if it is boring rubbish I don't feel like an imposter or inadequate anymore. I'm going to projectile my truthful tedious rubbish and you're going to like it mate, mmm, dindins.

The moral of the story is I suppose to stop giving a shit about what other people think about you, and be yourself because that's the only fucker you are, for good or ill.

Also I went bald. Hair = Lies.

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #13 on: May 22, 2020, 12:27:04 PM »
does this thing hurt????

 you are having fun????

it is actualy bad, and nothing will be ok again.

'ray traviz' if that IS your real name I want you to experience hurt.

or pain. I want you to see your grandad on the tree outside, know that he is not there, and not care.

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #14 on: May 22, 2020, 12:29:51 PM »
I remember doing this at times as a kid, not at primary school where I had a solid group of friends and less sense of peer pressure, but at secondary school which for me was very tough and competitive in all senses. I suppose it was to try and be liked or gain acceptance from others, all through being insecure and feeling that being myself wasn't enough. It wasn't compulsive but there would be occasions which looking back now with the benefit of hindsight just seem weird.

I remember this dragging on into uni although by that time I was using it as a survival mechanism to conceal or lessen things I had or had not done.

In both cases looking back, there was little value other than perhaps the mildest of white lies. As things developed and got worse on a personal level there was enough evidence that doing this wasn't profitable. I never really sat down and thought about it or made any conscious effort in that regard but I have tried to live life out in the open. Since being in longer relationships that has helped my confidence and obviously travelling around a lot and gaining life experience means that you have stuff to say, even if it is boring rubbish I don't feel like an imposter or inadequate anymore.

The moral of the story is I suppose to stop giving a shit about what other people think about you, and be yourself because that's the only fucker you are, for good or ill.

Also I went bald. Hair = Lies.
Why did you lie tho, my friend I never got the chance to ask this.

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #15 on: May 22, 2020, 12:33:58 PM »
Why did you lie tho, my friend I never got the chance to ask this.    EDIT: i think i understand

Butchers Blind

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #16 on: May 22, 2020, 12:34:06 PM »
YEA SURE mate you sawd steam trains at maidstone east.

I've seen a steam train at Maidstone East, mind you I was an adult at the time.

Buelligan

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #17 on: May 22, 2020, 12:36:04 PM »
For a lot, it's about power, steam trains and lying. 

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #18 on: May 22, 2020, 12:40:46 PM »
I've seen a steam train at Maidstone East, mind you I was an adult at the time.

See that was the thing, I have never seen it and who am I going to belive, fucking Jonathan.

EDIT now I am interested, did you stop there, did you refuel :D

I belive you in a way I didn't jonathan.

Voltan (Man of Steel)

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #19 on: May 22, 2020, 01:20:40 PM »
I’m old enough that I can remember seeing a steam train alongside those new diesels at Wolverhampton railway station when I was a nipper. I wish I was lying.

JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #20 on: May 22, 2020, 01:50:53 PM »
^^^^ yea thiss ^^^^^

in 1985 I lived in lombardy drive in vinters park.

A kid who lived opposite me became my best friend.

but he COULD NOT tell the truth. he lied about andything/everything

I just accepted it as a charachter flooor.

but it meant I could never trust him.

Yeah I don't get it.  I knew someone around the same time, around 84/85, a friend of a friend, and he'd lie about everything.  When you first met him you'd question things but very quickly learned it's not worth it, so you let him finish his lie and commented as little as possible and let the conversation move on.  And surely he knew that we knew he was lying, but he kept on doing it.  The lying I could live with but when he started stealing from me I snapped and told him to leave and never come back.  I lost the other friend as well.

gib

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #21 on: May 22, 2020, 01:52:58 PM »
I do not tut at thread titles that don't constitute a sentence but nevertheless end with a full stop.

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #22 on: May 22, 2020, 02:21:40 PM »
I do not tut at thread titles that don't constitute a sentence but nevertheless end with a full stop.

My grammar goes out the window on my mobile phone, completely throws me off. Don't know what it is.

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #23 on: May 22, 2020, 02:27:23 PM »
I think I was quite clear that my lies are inconsequential and not constant, so please don't insinuate that I'm like the people you're describing. I also didn't indicate how I'm dealing with it. I'm not usually this defensive, but there's a hint of hostility in the replies that are unwarranted for something that I have to actively struggle to not do.

This isn't directed at any particular comment, just wear the shoe if it fits.


JesusAndYourBush

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #24 on: May 22, 2020, 02:42:24 PM »
but there's a hint of hostility in the replies that are unwarranted for something that I have to actively struggle to not do.

Don't take the replies personally.  When I wrote my reply the thread had moved on (because that's often how threads work) to talking about compulsive lying in general.  I'd read your post yesterday, but today I'd forgotten it even existed and was speaking generally.  I believe this will be the case for most, if not all the posts in the thread.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #25 on: May 22, 2020, 03:39:32 PM »
Absolutely straight up, I'm sure nobody thinks the worse of anyone for lying.

Ray Travez

  • Man of CaB
Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #26 on: May 22, 2020, 03:53:21 PM »
'ray traviz' if that IS your real name I want you to experience hurt.

Righto.
Quote
or pain. I want you to see your grandad on the tree outside, know that he is not there, and not care.

These strike me as unusual things for you to wish for. Your message is inappropriate, and appears to have no context in terms of what I posted.

Utterdrivel

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #27 on: May 22, 2020, 04:00:58 PM »
I absolutely love a compulsive bullshitter, they're my favourite people.

Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #28 on: May 22, 2020, 04:20:13 PM »
My daughter literally can't tell the truth. She's 14 going on 20. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes its pointless, sometimes its downright annoying. She told her mates we rent our garden from next door, for no reason, she also told them I was her child minder when I pick her up from school.

Janie Jones

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Re: Compulsive lying.
« Reply #29 on: May 22, 2020, 04:36:37 PM »
The lying I could live with but when he started stealing from me I snapped and told him to leave and never come back. 

I’ve known a couple of compulsive liars but they’re not dishonest in other ways, I’d have no problem trusting them generally, if that makes sense.
I absolutely love a compulsive bullshitter, they're my favourite people.

Yes my friend is quite a raconteur. He’ll come down the pub with a black eye and a chipped tooth and we all know he fell off his bike pished again last night but no, two blokes beat him up in the subway last night when he intervened as they were verbally abusing a young woman. He’ll always add some absurd detail for authenticity, like the blokes had South African accents.

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