Jerkless June 2020: The Lockdown Cockdown

[touchingcloth]

Anyone playing this year? I feel the required efforts will be Herculean, it'll be the Olympics of not wanking, a Seb Noe, if you like.

[Danger Man]

cuckdown

[touchingcloth]

Wimbledong.

[ImmaculateClump]

I'm 40 now and my sex drive seems to have almost entirely effed off.
I could probably do this without even trying!

[Tony Tony Tony]

Surely Bozza will make one of his Churchillian announcements soon that it is now allowable to release the python and we will be back on Beef Strokenoff by June. I mean C'Mon...     

After all Carrie has a new baby, he'll be off the nest for a good few weeks.

[QDRPHNC]

Isn't this just for the masturbatory equivalent of emotional eaters?

[Pink Gregory]

Y no wank?

[Marner and Me]

Fucking no chance, I'd like that self discipline. There are some people who edge themselves for extra torment.

[kittens]

every year this challenge seems to get more and more easy

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Imagine the first wank after abstaining for a month. The resulting torrent of jizz would probably hit the ceiling with the same force as if you'd severed an artery.

[BlodwynPig]

Imagine the first wank after abstaining for a month. The resulting torrent of jizz would probably hit the ceiling with the same force as if you'd severed an artery.

After my phimosis/ballinitus/urethra constriction operation, my first piss in the hospital once the tube had been removed was like a fire hose. I was thrust backwards, such was the jet propulsion and my dick just coiled around uncontrollably leaving the whole bathroom covered in piss and blood. My first wank (stitches still in place) was a similar and even more euphoric.

[ImmaculateClump]

I can't remember why, maybe I was just fed up or something but I went for a long time without a chug in my youth and when I finally got round to it, the orgasm was weird, felt much more like an itch was being scratched, but not pleasurable at all.
Next one was back to normal.

phimosis

I had that! I remember some friends talking about wanking and it sounded a lot different to how I was doing it. When I got home I tried to wrestle down the old polo neck but nothing was happening so I sort of grabbed my foreskin by the aardvark nose bit and pulled up and there was a weird popping sensation and I eventually managed to wrestle it down and out popped my helmet all shiny and new for the first time!
It was tight for a long time but I raxed it in like a new pair of trainers.

[imitationleather]

I had that!

Well duh. You're not allowed to sign up here if you've not suffered from it.

[chveik]

isn't this supposed to be in january?

edit: no that was the booze thing

[imitationleather]

isn't this supposed to be in january?

It's traditionally November.

Why the hell would people want to put themselves through this when there's nothing else to do?

[Small Man Big Horse]

Anyone playing this year? I feel the required efforts will be Herculean, it'll be the Olympics of not wanking, a Seb Noe, if you like.

This would be the first year since 2005 that I could fairly enter as I've no longer a chemical advantage as I'm not currently on antidepressants. But like everyone else (bar kittens) my answer is fuck no, there's no chance I'm giving up one of my very few pleasures during the lockdown.

[kittens]

i can't remember the last time i had a wank. well. i can remember it but it definitely wasn't today.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

What is point

[BlodwynPig]

What is point

that thing clenched in your fist

[Mr Eggs]

I'm planning a week off in June just to get drunk and wank.

[Old Gold Tooth]

I'm planning a week off in June just to get drunk and wank.

Cummings told to rethink story.

[machotrouts]

The forfeit for everybody is if you do a cum you have to do your cum on Zoom and I have to watch it because I'm gay and hot for cum.

[Mr Eggs]

The forfeit for everybody is if you do a cum you have to do your cum on Zoom and I have to watch it because I'm gay and hot for cum.

Now I'm wanking thinking about machotrouts wankng.

[Pseudopath]

Now I'm wanking thinking about machotrouts wankng.

Gogglecocks.

[touchingcloth]

Now I'm wanking thinking about machotrouts wankng.

I'm wanking thinking about Mr Eggs wanking about thinking about machotrouts wanking.

[Abnormal Palm]

Absolutely no chance. In thinking of getting the CHC98 gang back together, if anything. Been tanning myself a new glove made from springbok hide for the occasion. Done some amazing stitching work with white gold thread. Brushed my mustard and burgundy suede baseball jacket.

[Mr Eggs]

I'm wanking thinking about Mr Eggs wanking about thinking about machotrouts wanking.

If you want some Isle of Man emblem shit. We can make it happen.

[Bazooka]

The forfeit for everybody is if you do a cum you have to do your cum on Zoom and I have to watch it because I'm gay and hot for cum.

Sometimes it comes out cold.

[touchingcloth]

If you want some Isle of Man emblem shit. We can make it happen.

I've just wanked over the Isle of Man man.

[Jittlebags]

Shouldn't this be Jizzless June for accounting purposes ?