I can invent a new colour for you

[popcorn]

how do you want it

[Replies From View]

safe

[Dewt]

Will I need to hand over my eye cones to you for modification or is this an enhancement to the electromagnetic spectrum itself?

[Replies From View]

just make it safe boss

[Replies From View]

just make it sound yeah

[popcorn]

All right nice one. Here it is:









let me know if you can see it all right.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

No you can't, Mr. Popcorn. No-one can.

[Replies From View]

Nor siree there is no colour there


No sir

[popcorn]

All right sorry, I've made some adjustments, you should be able to see your new colour now:



What do you think, look nice?

[Replies From View]

not sure that's a new colour exactly


maybe it's my eyes getting it wrong but to me that colour is basically green



a kind of green


colour

[Replies From View]

by which I mean it's a colour that I already have a name for in my own head



the name "green"


is the name I identify with that colour there

[popcorn]

Nah mate you'll not have seen that colour before. It's a new one I've invented, for you

You'll not have seen this colour around before.

[Replies From View]

okay mate so what colour have I been calling "green" my entire life

[popcorn]

Well that's really neither here nor there is it.

Look mate if you can find me a single object of this same new colour I've made for you then I'll do a new one for you, I'm not going to say it's completely impossible that someone else might have made the colour at some point in the last few thousand years, you might have seen it on holiday or some such, but I am going to need to see where else you might have seen it.

[seepage]

if you mix red and green you get yellow - how mad is that?

I can see a bit into the ultraviolet and infrared but haven't given them names yet.

[Ferris]

STOP RIGHT THERE!

I've been on the tail of the notorious "50 shades of bullshit" scammer since the late '80s. Back then it was small ads in the backs of newspapers, magazines, periodicals, "I can mail you a new colour, send £2 plus p&p to PO Box 457, Whitehall", that type of thing. Now it's all internet spam and indecent viral photos of prince Andrew. Went quiet for a while there in the late '00s but I knew you couldn't stay clean for long.

And now, I've finally got you, you bastard. I used local simpleton RepliesfV we bait - I knew he'd be unable to resist such an obvious scam, and you, bastardcorn, would be unable to resist an easy score from such a total mope. I played you all, and it went perfectly. Not a hitch.

Now listen, you're surrounded and we got all the exits covered. You're gonna come with me and answer some questions downtown. Are we gonna do this the easy way, or the hard way?

[Replies From View]

EXCUSE ME I MAY BE BAIT BUT I AM NOT A SIMPLETON

[Ferris]

Ah sweet, simple Replies. Your dim-witted buffoonery has served us well, old friend!

Now please, don't embarrass me in front of this master criminal. There are other people present. Do this, and there will be a shiny brass farthing in it for you.

[Replies From View]

_{^{not a fucking simpleton mate}}

[Ferris]

Hush now, oaf! The master villain approaches!

[Replies From View]

Well that's really neither here nor there is it.

Look mate if you can find me a single object of this same new colour I've made for you then I'll do a new one for you, I'm not going to say it's completely impossible that someone else might have made the colour at some point in the last few thousand years, you might have seen it on holiday or some such, but I am going to need to see where else you might have seen it.

Hey, Bo Peep, if you're so clever then what colour would you call the trees and grass in this random picture I have found.

[Ferris]

^shit that's right.

Hang on, if you're the clever one does that make me the dim one? Is this a setup? What's going on here

[Replies From View]

exactly


i am very clever with the colour green





now what else

[Ferris]

I can't make heads nor tails of this. I've called off the support units, the exits are now unmarked.

I'm going for a lie down.

[popcorn]

Hey, Bo Peep, if you're so clever then what colour would you call the trees and grass in this random picture I have found.

Green

[popcorn]

And lol I remember you Ferris, you used to love the new colours I made for you back in the 80s.

[Replies From View]

I bet you reckon you invented white dog poo

[Paul Calf]

All right sorry, I've made some adjustments, you should be able to see your new colour now:



What do you think, look nice?

This is a genuinely new colour and those who say that it isn't are just pissed off that their inferior ocular equipment is incapable of perceiving it.

[Replies From View]

This is a genuinely new colour and those who say that it isn't are just pissed off that their inferior ocular equipment is incapable of perceiving it.

I'll go out on a limb and say you don't even know what colours are.


Prove me wrong, bufferzone.

[Ferris]

And lol I remember you Ferris, you used to love the new colours I made for you back in the 80s.

You still owe me £6 12d (+p&p) you shit.

Plus interest!