what would you do if you really need a poo in an English country garden

[idunnosomename]

a) whip down your pants and shit among the ants
b) jump in a pool and deposit a stool
c) present your ass and make a shitty blast
d) ?your own idea? let me know in the comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Replies From View]

I'd probably just wait until I got home.


How far away is it?

[idunnosomename]

barnard castle

[pancreas]

pull apart your ring and let your anus sing (in an English country garden)

[Dewt]

I'll have Mary Mary (quite contrary) watch

[poo]

Lob out yer knob and gob down yer lobbon in an...

[pancreas]

put a shovel up your bum and shake it till you cum ...

[jobotic]

Personally?

Probably stuff by bum with Pedigree Chum then wait until I got home and let the whole lot come out of my bum like a bullet from a gun.

May not work for you though.

[non capisco]

squat o'er a lake and summon a brown snake in an English country garden

[non capisco]

separate my knees and pebbledash the trees in an English country garden

[non capisco]

tuck in my cock, let my anus run amok in an English country garden

[non capisco]

find somewhere dry and let my sphincter fly in an English country garden

[non capisco]

cover my face and let my arse disgrace in an English country garden

[non capisco]

Find a spot that's clear then unleash my diarrhoea in an English country garden

[non capisco]

I'm guessing that's the sort of immature thing you were after!!!

[gib]

use the toilet in the house/cottage to which the garden pertains

[non capisco]

That doesn't rhyme, mate.

[idunnosomename]

I'm guessing that's the sort of immature thing you were after!!!

yes. thank you

[gib]

That doesn't rhyme, mate.

in that case i will pull down my pants and shit on all the ants, if the occupants of the house/cottage challenge me this is all your fault

[non capisco]

yes. thank you

No worries mate, all fresh originals off the top of my dome.

[idunnosomename]

tear off your bra and crap in the ha-ha

[idunnosomename]

it's just a day sojourn so destroy the fucking lawn

[idunnosomename]

someone will see you prolly so defecate inside a folly

[Clatty McCutcheon]

use the toilet in the house/cottage to which the garden pertains

Curl out a jobby in the downstairs lobby?

[idunnosomename]

lay a dirty cable in the eighteenth century stables

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

it... it's "pull down your pants and suffocate the ants"

[Replies From View]

Dintinuate your clydes and inapectorife your sides

[idunnosomename]

slip a chekky poo into the reredorter ruins

[ImmaculateClump]

I'm guessing that's the sort of immature thing you were after!!!

It's so nice to see someone of your calibre coming down to our level.
No one can do fart jokes like the Oxford elite.

Everybody farts, but you'll never know the complicated richness of man's olfactory assault on nature until you've eaten an undercooked pheasant in a poorly ventilated dormitory.

You wouldn't ask a classical musician to play in a punk band, let's put it that way.

I liked how there were a couple of minutes between each suggestion.
I could picture you leaning back, stroking your bearded chin, maybe having a puff on the old opium pipe for inspiration, and then bang!
The gods would relay their gift and you'd scramble back to the keyboard to catch the fleeting idea before it escaped like an unsmelt fart.

Thank you for your patronising contribution to the lowly arts. Do a shoulder stand and shit into your hands in an English country garden.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

What would you do if you really need a poo in an English country garden

Drive 260 miles and dance around all smiles in your parents' country garden