Where do you shite if caught short during lockdown exercise?

[Fr.Bigley]

Was thinking about this earlier after feeling a rumble during a 5 mile jog.

[Paul Calf]

The legislation is clear.

Do a Paula Radcliffe.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Where would you shite during exercise if it wasn't lockdown?

[kittens]

it's perfectly acceptable to crap your pants.

[jobotic]

I had to shit behind a roadside bush a couple of years ago. Right cup of tea it was. I was trying to make it to Asda to use theirs but couldn't be done. If I could held it a minute less I'd have been on a bridge on top of the M2.

10km run that was - was fine for first 7 and then...jesus...

[Buelligan]

I would just add, for those considering an al fresco turd, find yourself one or two lovely smooth clean round pebbles or smallish rocks first.  Changes the whole ball game.

[Fr.Bigley]

Where would you shite during exercise if it wasn't lockdown?

Local hostillery or a supermarche

[NoSleep]

2 metres away from anyone else.

[Fr.Bigley]

I would just add, for those considering an al fresco turd, find yourself one or two lovely smooth clean round pebbles or smallish rocks first.  Changes the whole ball game.

Doesn't know about the three seashells. Lol

[kittens]

i once did a crap in a pizza box and wiped my arse with a friend's condemned beach towel

EDIT: crapped in a pork pie hat once too

[Fr.Bigley]

i once did a crap in a pizza box and wiped my arse with a friend's condemned beach towel

EDIT: crapped in a pork pie hat once too

Still better than papa John's.

[Buelligan]

Doesn't know about the three seashells. Lol

I know how to use the pebbles.

[Cerys]

Fun fact: it's actually possible to shit into your own arse.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Was the beach towel already condemned by the time kittens got hold of it or was that the final death knell?

[kittens]

i must admit i was a major part of the committee that condemned the towel.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Government advice is to stay at home. Like fuck am I going to do exercise when they've basically told me I'm allowed not to.

[Abnormal Palm]

There's actually an exhaustive compendium of suggestions collated in this recent thread:

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,80450.0.html

[Fr.Bigley]

There's actually an exhaustive compendium of suggestions collated in this recent thread:

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,80450.0.html

But we've been given a state enforced desist order to visit these English country gardens.

[Pink Gregory]

The whole rationale behind me not doing full days of work at the minute basically boils down to 'there's nowhere for me to shit'

[Pink Gregory]

crapped in a pork pie hat once too

Charles Mingus considers etc etc

[Small Man Big Horse]

I was out and about a couple of weeks ago and desperate for a piss and the local public toilets (ie the pub and McDonalds) were of course closed, so I ended up sneaking off and pissing on to a bush in the end. It was the best piss I've ever had, and now I do all of mine there, desperately trying to recreate that special moment.

[DiClassomo]

Simply throw it up into the air with enough force that it'll never come back down.

[Marner and Me]

My mate used to take some rags out with him for when the inevitable happened.

[Jittlebags]

Carry on of these with you if you think you might need to do a Radcliffe.


You do run the risk of a 1970s couple on a motorbike and sidecar combination running over you though.

[ollyboro]

Castle Bernard

[Jittlebags]

I like it. Take a 40 minute detour for a shit in a bluebell wood to ascertain your eyesight is ok.

[ollyboro]

Don't forget to take your family

[madhair60]

I know how to use the pebbles.

I bet you do, you dirty old bollocks. I bet you fucking do

[Cloud]

Probably not a public loo

[Sebastian Cobb]

know someone who shat in a council block's bin room on the exit of their tube station out of necessity.