Author Topic: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes  (Read 55082 times)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1500 on: April 29, 2021, 04:39:45 PM »
Your zero salt stock cubes are branded 'vile' by tasters Jeremy Spake and Monique.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1501 on: April 29, 2021, 04:51:28 PM »
Protestations that you know martial arts don't prevent you being cunted by a 12 year old armed with some rusty bike handlebars.

Glebe

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1502 on: April 29, 2021, 06:19:51 PM »
Wetherspoons reopens and is named Restaurant of the Year.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1503 on: April 30, 2021, 05:51:39 PM »
Your alter ego, a fleabitten ne'erdowell called Dogdon who gets special things called 'hard-ons' near flightless birds is now so close to your actual personality and existence that people are beginning to wonder where the character starts and the real man ends.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1504 on: April 30, 2021, 05:54:15 PM »
Dogden, heh!

FerriswheelBueller

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1505 on: April 30, 2021, 10:07:18 PM »
An unemployed man stays in his bedroom to work on a Maximo Park / Linkin Park mashup.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1506 on: April 30, 2021, 10:53:46 PM »
An unemployed man stays in his bedroom to work on a Maximo Park / Linkin Park mashup.

It turns out to be your dad.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1507 on: May 01, 2021, 10:11:40 AM »
A child in Macclesfield is named Dogden of the Year.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1508 on: May 01, 2021, 12:54:24 PM »
A child in Macclesfield is named Dogden of the Year.

Laughed

Dogdon though. V important.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1509 on: May 01, 2021, 04:19:09 PM »
Laughed

Dogdon though. V important.

Oh yeah sorry. DESO.

Sebastian Cobb

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1510 on: May 01, 2021, 05:10:24 PM »

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1511 on: May 01, 2021, 05:13:15 PM »
^What's the equivalent in cows, though?

Jimmy Carr continues forever, hooting and boring you on endless gameshows. And Russell Howard, Greg Davies etc.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1512 on: May 02, 2021, 12:17:29 PM »
An man named Oberon lives next door an cuts his toenails loudly of an evenin'!

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1513 on: May 02, 2021, 03:45:28 PM »
Violently degloved seven minutes into cuntbeak-sitting a turbulent cockatoo.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1514 on: May 02, 2021, 09:42:45 PM »
Peterborough is blighted by the worst fart smell in existence.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1515 on: May 04, 2021, 11:40:43 AM »
A miniature Nick Ross is discovered inside a crushed pangolin.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1516 on: May 05, 2021, 01:01:45 AM »
David Platt kills his neighbour and buries him in a windsock.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1517 on: May 05, 2021, 01:36:07 PM »
The Witan votes that you, loyal medicine man and soothsayer be rechristened 'Druid McDruidface', a decision binding until the next folkmoot, scheduled for never.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1518 on: May 05, 2021, 01:40:52 PM »
The Board of Deputies convene to denounce your expression at a Bar Mitzvah in 2008 as 'sullen'.

Cuellar

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1519 on: May 05, 2021, 02:58:25 PM »
You're not even good enough to move to Stevenage

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1520 on: May 05, 2021, 04:59:18 PM »
You're not even good enough to move to Stevenage

ouch!

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1521 on: May 05, 2021, 05:00:20 PM »
2 reduced battered cans of Diamond White in the Patchway Spa in Bristol. Been there 6 months with no takers...

Captain Poodle Basher

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1522 on: May 06, 2021, 08:16:51 AM »
Your dad volunteers to replace your broken alarm clock.

You eagerly take him up on his kind offer but regret it once you realise it means your dad punches you in the head every morning at 7 am shouting "WAKE UP YOU LAZY BASTARD!"

touchingcloth

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1523 on: May 06, 2021, 10:09:54 AM »
Administrative confusion leads to a barrel of Reggae Reggae sauce hosting Saturday Night Live.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1524 on: May 06, 2021, 12:10:39 PM »
Tizzie Bumpkins reopens her Dorset salon at last, but the smell of rotten ammonia is unbearable, my love!

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1525 on: May 06, 2021, 03:05:39 PM »
The unexplained assets crime force come round to ask where you got your tooth from.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1526 on: May 06, 2021, 04:45:01 PM »
A train door refuses to open until you 'repent'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1527 on: May 06, 2021, 04:45:58 PM »
You truly believe that Nokia N-Gage are throwing a pool party  'in your honour'.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1528 on: May 06, 2021, 05:35:54 PM »
Missing out on a long straight in a game of Yahtzee is the reason you can't see your kids any more.

Glebe

  • It's a fanny old mafia game, innit?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1529 on: May 06, 2021, 08:13:04 PM »
A mouthful of burnt hazelnuts is the best your going to get for afters this evening.

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