Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes

[PlanktonSideburns]

Greggs gets bought up by Londis

It's called

Grondis

Vegan sausage roll

3.75

[Catalogue of ills]

Your genitals are conscripted to fight in a pointless war.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Belted up the arse by your own 3d print creation 'Stonehelm The Great'.

[Catalogue of ills]

In your crown court trial you continually refer to Justice Baines as "Bainsey", and say several times that your heroin was 'foil wrapped for freshness' while grinning at the jury and giving the thumbs up. 3 years chokey but worth it for the bants.

[dex]

Belted up the arse to the theme tune of the Dogtanian cartoon.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Belted up the arse to the theme tune of the Dogtanian cartoon.

True deso!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Your mother is 'dragged kicking and screaming' into a soft play centre, where she is then repeatedly forced to boing on all of the inflatables and make parping sounds like a whoopee cushion to the hollers and shrieks of a gang of dwarven bikers who have tethered her using hooks.

[Chicory]

The local Avon Lad comes round with "a fuckton of bird stuff"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Perfunctory sponge birthday cake decorated with image uploaded from web is of girl on drip in ward, now with 14 lit candles impaled in her icing body. She expires en route to extinguishing the flames.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Belted up the arse to the theme tune of the Dogtanian cartoon.

Someone one on here imagined being belted up the arse by someone wearing these



And I don't know if that mental image will ever leave me now

[PlanktonSideburns]

Your neighbour tells you to come round to his for a barbecue as he has a "cuntload of sausage and no fridge"

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Some good ones on this page

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Saracen the gladiator abuses your trust to leave a bleeding goat in your lockup

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Belted up the arse by Eurasia's premiere termite breeder. He has a scuttling way about him but a violent thrusting desire.

[Ferris]

A drunken Craig David approaches your front door, but bottles it before he can complete a Knock Door Run.

[derek stitt]

Leaving a wank sock out in the sun to dry out only it doesn't dry out it ferments. A passing goat eats the spunk wine soaked sock gets drunk wanders into the road and causes a major pile up with many fatalities. An autopsy on the goat reveals the source of intoxication and the Vet who did the operation, your mum, goes to the papers and says it was the socks she gave you for Christmas.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A drunken sober Craig David approaches your front door, but bottles it before he can complete a Knock Door Run.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You are rendered void, such is the power of the rendering, you fly up your own arsehole becoming a singularity, in a petrol station Greggs.

[touchingcloth]

You catch a lethal dose of COVID while attending an inadequately socially distanced screening of a directors cut of Mrs. Brown's Boys D'Movie. Your last words before leaving for the showing were "if I get COVID I get COVID so"

[jenna appleseed]

Belted up the arse to the theme tune of the Dogtanian cartoon.

Pounded in the butt by your Chuck Tingle/Dogtanian slash fiction.

[dex]

Someone one on here imagined being belted up the arse by someone wearing these



And I don't know if that mental image will ever leave me now

*shudders*

Imagine getting sonic and knuckled after being belted?

[Glebe]

A negative Norris slams his glans into the edge of The Best of Engelbert Humperdinck as it spins on the turntable.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You become disillusioned with the latest content from the Boglin Cinematic Universe.

[touchingcloth]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/articles/pasta_chips

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Please let that be the end of it

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Huddled together for worms.

[Chicory]

Toppled by a moron felled by a dickhead who was lamped by a man with 'legitimate concerns'.

[Catalogue of ills]

You set a world record for the number of burning copies of The Guinness Book of World Records accurately hurled at disabled and immobile children in 2 minutes. A life's dream fulfilled.

[batwings]

You fed a Polo mint to Robert Smith and now he's followed you home.

[Chollis]

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2021/jul/30/goblincore-fashion-trend-embraces-chaos-dirt-mud