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Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes

Started by Shoulders?-Stomach!, June 02, 2020, 09:29:27 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Twit 2

Your mother fucks your gaoler in a lagoon full of blood.

Ferris

Quote from: Twit 2 on October 14, 2021, 08:05:44 PM
Your mother fucks your gaoler in a lagoon full of blood.

He gives her a 2/5 on Punternet.

touchingcloth

Someone begins to correct you when over Sunday dinner you talk about the "server-side of beef", until you go on to mention the "client-side of all the trimmings".

petril

a man doubles down when his newly launched patter is ignored

Glebe

Barry of Clydebank spends his weekends polishing his collection of Games Workshop metal figures "to a remarkable shine".

Shoulders?-Stomach!




Glebe

Some disappointed Mormons mutter utter doggeral beside an off-licence in Cheshire.

batwings

A Hattie Jacques doppelgänger leaves a creamy turd in your dodgem car.

Catalogue of ills

Watching old Met Office weather forecasts and going 'they got that one wrong' then complaining to the BBC.

Glebe

Greasy shitcakes are the only item on today's menu at The Glum Spoon, Holmfirth.

batwings

A dented tin of elbow soup, forgotten in the back of an old zoophile's larder.

Twit 2

LinkedIn list you in the latrine business, no matter where you're employed.

Twit 2

Your son tells you his skull makes him horny.

Twit 2

Des Lynam goes dogging in a car seat.

Glebe

Norman takes pleasure in knowing that there's a Cup-a-Soup waiting for him when he gets home. He'll enjoy that as he watches racing highlights on his 11" B&W set. Oh wait he had the Cup-a-Soup last night and the telly's on the blink. Shite.

touchingcloth

After titling your film "The Chumscrubber", critics describe it as "an appallingly clumsy and stupid take on drugs, kidnapping and suicide. Dreadful, unoriginal, without an original bone in its body or a compelling thought in its head. Insufferable, self-conscious, and smug."

itsfredtitmus

Quote from: touchingcloth on October 17, 2021, 08:41:45 PM
After titling your film "The Chumscrubber", critics describe it as "an appallingly clumsy and stupid take on drugs, kidnapping and suicide. Dreadful, unoriginal, without an original bone in its body or a compelling thought in its head. Insufferable, self-conscious, and smug."
THE CUMSCRUBBERS

touchingcloth


Twit 2




petril

the above, but intended to as a comedy character thing

Glebe

Local man Neggie Ned is thus named because of the selection of negative vibes he produces!

batwings

Jeered off the stage while eulogising your daughter.

A leukemia cluster puts your hairdressing salon out of business.

Your family put your obituary in the local paper because they 'needed a lift' and 'just wanted to see it'.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Your frequently mis-specied mother separates Gala pie into segments with her nose.

batwings

After a terminal diagnosis, Gerald Ginger dedicates his final days to creating a Mr Benn wiki. It gets no visitors and the hosting eventually lapses. Waste of fucking time.

Catalogue of ills

Your literal interpretation of phrases lands you in trouble again after you spend the whole of your first pay packet on bacon and tickets for a bread raffle.

Ferris

Quote from: batwings on October 19, 2021, 09:08:48 AM
After a terminal diagnosis, Gerald Ginger dedicates his final days to creating a Mr Benn wiki. It gets no visitors and the hosting eventually lapses. Waste of fucking time.

Superb.