Author Topic: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes  (Read 15502 times)

PlanktonSideburns

  • putting the 'rimmage' back in pilgrimage
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #60 on: June 15, 2020, 10:22:36 PM »
Your dog got old so fast.

turns out its just radiation poisoning

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #61 on: June 16, 2020, 10:48:29 AM »
Becks does eleven keepy-ups while Harper watches.

buttgammon

  • How thick is wall?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #62 on: June 16, 2020, 12:45:05 PM »
The grey, sunken cunt of the world.

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #63 on: June 16, 2020, 03:02:12 PM »
You are formally credited as the co-writer of Feva For The Flava.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #64 on: June 17, 2020, 11:25:31 AM »
The cognitive dissonance of being in agreement with Piers Morgan on a topic.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #65 on: June 17, 2020, 11:52:20 AM »
can't stop going to big Tesco every month for a leisurely two hour read of Viz. only time you get out the house, nothing else seems worth it

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #66 on: June 19, 2020, 10:31:58 AM »
Bebbles the bog-troll wins a 2 week caravan holiday in Magnitogorsk. Let's the voucher lapse despite booking and travelling on 3 connecting flights to get there.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #67 on: June 20, 2020, 07:49:41 AM »
The cheese balancer goes to Derby to be told there are mites living in his rectum.

shiftwork2

  • pies this is your time
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #68 on: June 20, 2020, 10:18:53 PM »
.

Twit 2

  • No half measures.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #70 on: June 22, 2020, 04:37:18 PM »
Your hopes are lifted for a split second when your boss announces that 2 colleagues are working overtime with you to make the numbers up. They are revealed to be 2 of the most bastard people you hate working with.

Facepalm!!!!!!!!

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #71 on: June 23, 2020, 03:11:18 PM »
Neil Warnock replaces Jonathan Woodgate as Middlesbrough boss.

(words above deso works in any arrangement)

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #72 on: June 23, 2020, 05:04:20 PM »
Trafficked from Bali only to be entombed by a paper boy.

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #73 on: June 23, 2020, 07:06:13 PM »
An anal polyp scuppers your holiday plans.

“Have you ever noticed that it’s always that you hide in an attic but you are locked up in a cellar?” mused the estate agent as he showed a remote house to an increasingly concerned client.

A Swansea taxi driver’s Edinburgh one man show, An old dear in the headlights, about the time he ran over a pensioner outside the bingo hall, does worse than expected.




Twit 2

  • No half measures.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #74 on: June 23, 2020, 09:39:01 PM »
.

Twit 2

  • No half measures.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #75 on: June 23, 2020, 09:41:03 PM »
“Have you ever noticed that it’s always that you hide in an attic but you are locked up in a cellar?” mused the estate agent as he showed a remote house to an increasingly concerned client.

A rapist is commended for being the perfect blend between Gaston Bachelard and Josef Fritzl.

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #76 on: June 23, 2020, 09:54:50 PM »
You can't stop crying at work. "It's just hay fever" you tell the girl who used to like you as you try to shake the masses of tear-clumped postage stamps from your sanitised slimed hands.

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #77 on: June 23, 2020, 10:07:56 PM »
Your internal monologue sounds a lot like a pissed Hugh Scully.

"You've written this before" he antiquely slurs as you urinate into an empty bucket of fuck it.


Cuntbeaks

  • Where you fay?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #78 on: June 23, 2020, 10:32:23 PM »
Spent all weekend watching God TV, eating Tesco Value "Noodle Pots" and pushing his prolapsed arsehole back in.

A fortnight in Blackpool with an ounce of meth.

A neckbeard spends £583 on a Ltd Edition My Little Pony fedora.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #79 on: June 23, 2020, 10:40:36 PM »
you get on a train to Cambridge, pissed. you will nontheless end up in Motherwell

PlanktonSideburns

  • putting the 'rimmage' back in pilgrimage
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #80 on: June 23, 2020, 11:09:05 PM »
Some well meaning young children are taught 'the true meaning of batman' by a deluded utility belt enthusiast that got out of hand

jenna appleseed

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #81 on: June 24, 2020, 02:52:56 AM »
(cheating with talk to transformer desolation)

Robot grief dog is stomping all over your keyboard, buzzing up the mechanism.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #82 on: June 24, 2020, 08:39:40 AM »
You are tracked down to Pripyat shivering with your trousers around your ankles. When interrogated you will only say 'good night yeah good night it's been a good night'

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #83 on: June 24, 2020, 09:48:49 AM »
Your electric wheelchair is hacked by line dancing enthusiasts.

the midnight watch baboon

  • Gelled, spiky hair fragrant near my teeth
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #84 on: June 24, 2020, 10:00:48 AM »
Richard Curtis uses the Covid-19 pandemic as the inspiration for a new Richard Curtis film, which turns out to be a gaggle of yummy mummies cheering on then sucking off brave Sir Boris Johnson at the podium of certain coronavirus.

buttgammon

  • How thick is wall?
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #85 on: June 24, 2020, 12:20:38 PM »
An unprofitable art gallery is bulldozed and replaced by a solid gold statue of the 'White Lives Matter' plane.

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #86 on: June 24, 2020, 12:52:21 PM »
A misunderstanding around the term "shit sandwich" results in the best canteen lunch for ten years.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #87 on: June 24, 2020, 10:59:24 PM »
There is a degree of chagrin over the rental term of a tabernacle.

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #88 on: June 25, 2020, 12:09:25 AM »
A gif of Alfonso Ribeiro dragging his itchy anus across the floor like an unchecked sheepdog is called as a key witness in a Zoom meet remote rape case

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #89 on: June 25, 2020, 02:32:22 PM »
James Corden and Rebel Wilson star in a CG-heavy remake of Yentl with 3 extra songs by Taylor Swift. Shawn Mendez plays the shtetl.

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