Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes

[The Bumlord]

A 100% effective cure for coronivirs is discovered, but it involves continuously listing to Mark Morrison's 'Return of the Mack' at high volume for 6 weeks.

Horrific flashbacks to when I worked in a factory there

[drummersaredeaf]

Real life deso:

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/racist-tattoo-you-regret-stoke-4525944.amp

[Sebastian Cobb]

But also quite nice of the artist?

[The Bumlord]

Less deso than him offering free racist tattoos, shirley?

[Glebe]

Real life deso:

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/racist-tattoo-you-regret-stoke-4525944.amp

LEDGE GARY: Nah Daz, it'd take too long to remove all mine.

[drummersaredeaf]

Nice of the artist, yes. The desolation is more the need for this service in the first place and what it says about my home town.

I know of a local tattoo artist who vowed to never again tattoo another 'jobstopper'.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Nice of the artist, yes. The desolation is more the need for this service in the first place and what it says about my home town.

I know of a local tattoo artist who vowed to never again tattoo another 'jobstopper'.

I don't have tattoos but based on stories from mates that have some intricate work, better tattoo artists are busy enough that they can pick and choose and generally apply more responsible rules than the law requires them to... eg. no racist shit and probably not going to tattoo something obviously shit on some young naive person's face/hands.

I'm sure the latter's more just so they can avoid having some irate parent in their shop when they could be tattooing more people though.

[Glebe]

An Our Brave Boy tells a non-white homeless person to "go back to Wango Land".

[touchingcloth]

An Our Brave Boy tells a non-white homeless person to "go back to Wango Land".

WANGOLAND FOREVER

[Glebe]

John Barrowman finishes his ready meal and wanks to VHS recordings of Cash in the Attic. Then he puts the compost bin out and falls asleep in the hall.

[Pingers]

A man who has put a smiley at the end of every Facebook post since 2010 logs in to let everyone know his dad's died.

[batwings]

As a child he received a new liver thanks to a That's Life appeal. Now in his forties and a raging alcoholic, he staggers around Esther Rantzen's moonlit driveway shouting 'Give us another one you SLAG!'

Your conversational gambit of "As I said to the Judge, who cares? I don't want to be within 100 meters of a school anyway. LOL." fails to impress the interview panel.

A man wearing a "King Of Biscuits" t-shirt exposes himself during your niece's funeral.

[Pingers]

The whole of your extended family goes on Facebook to call each other 'pedos', and bankrupts Nottingham Children's Social Care

[Glebe]

Nicky Campbell slops out and returns to his makeshift cell. He'll get a biscuit and a cup of water through the hatch later if Dimbleby is feeling generous. Ten years now.

[Huxleys Babkins]

A gust of wind blows your infant daughter's packet of Milky Bar Buttons out of her hand and off a motorway flyover. Long story short, you're now doing 200 hours of community service for being a racist.

[Pingers]

The divorce papers characterise you as "a pound shop cumslut"

[Twit 2]

A child of marital rape throws a therapy carrot at a scarecrow.

An avaricious sailor starts a hedge fund in a lido.

An orphanage funded by grain surplus expands into a knocking shop.

The distinct smell of your hangover shits triggers your mother's Flehmen response.

You get your face slanted to appeal to the Asian market.

"Do me like a casserole, Mavis, long and slow."

A tortoise is finished with this world, after its owner fucks it in its pen.

Alan Hansen's broken promises cause a pile-up in Jakarta.

In order to match the new wallpaper, a previously unwanted mixed-raced foetus is carried to full term.

You're on your toodles again, in your horrible life.

[dex]

An anally stretched wrong un' is bitterly dissapointed after mis-reading a Robson Green VHS titled "Extreme Fishing!"

[Glebe]

Carol Thatcher slices a dolphin's head off with the sharp edge of a nachos packet.

Jim from Staffordshire goes out on the piss and wakes up naked beside a stream, from then on he is known locally as the 'River Paedo'.

[batwings]

Dead Mum's Ian Brady scrapbook and dogcock dildo feature in a house clearance company's most watched YouTube upload.

Trouble in paradise? Your marriage to a balloon animal is going less smoothly than expected.

You frequently discuss your mental health worries with the ghost of Claire Rayner.

[Ferris]

You spend your birthday doing things you hate while your child screams at you. Your minuscule free time is spent reading CaB.

[Cuntbeaks]

Abortion attempt.

[Cuntbeaks]

You spend your birthday doing things you hate while your child screams at you. Your minuscule free time is spent reading CaB.

Keep it light, ffs.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

A semen glob ejaculated from frenzied hedge masturbate hits a passing cyclist, who careens into a Kwik-Fit.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

You learn through a fellow bestialete that the community was responsible for the internet doggo lexicon, and has 'great plans ahead'.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The final bell rings and as pupils leave for home a man leans back against the railings, writhing and chanting 'It's getting briller, It's gettin brillllleeeerrrrrrrr!!!!'

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Witney council, Brenda holds the agenda, the agenda on 'gender benders'.

Brenda descends, after addenda to the 'gender bender' agenda.

[touchingcloth]

Jane McDonald tribute act.

[batwings]

Sunday evening. Boiled egg and soldiers for tea. Songs of Praise, Antiques Roadshow. School tomorrow. Cross Country Run.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

The planetarium is daubed with 'Moslem filth OUT'