Author Topic: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes  (Read 72091 times)

PlanktonSideburns

  • encoded by an oaf
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1890 on: July 21, 2021, 12:44:47 AM »
Greggs gets bought up by Londis

It's called

Grondis

Vegan sausage roll

3.75

Catalogue of ills

  • Yeeaah, that's right!
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1891 on: July 21, 2021, 11:50:17 AM »
Your genitals are conscripted to fight in a pointless war.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1892 on: July 21, 2021, 02:18:17 PM »
Belted up the arse by your own 3d print creation 'Stonehelm The Great'.

Catalogue of ills

  • Yeeaah, that's right!
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1893 on: July 21, 2021, 05:29:23 PM »
In your crown court trial you continually refer to Justice Baines as "Bainsey", and say several times that your heroin was 'foil wrapped for freshness' while grinning at the jury and giving the thumbs up. 3 years chokey but worth it for the bants.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1894 on: July 21, 2021, 06:27:02 PM »
Belted up the arse to the theme tune of the Dogtanian cartoon.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1895 on: July 21, 2021, 06:47:26 PM »
Belted up the arse to the theme tune of the Dogtanian cartoon.

True deso!

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1896 on: July 21, 2021, 08:42:41 PM »
Your mother is 'dragged kicking and screaming' into a soft play centre, where she is then repeatedly forced to boing on all of the inflatables and make parping sounds like a whoopee cushion to the hollers and shrieks of a gang of dwarven bikers who have tethered her using hooks.

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1897 on: July 21, 2021, 09:57:45 PM »
The local Avon Lad comes round with "a fuckton of bird stuff"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1898 on: July 21, 2021, 10:22:39 PM »
Perfunctory sponge birthday cake decorated with image uploaded from web is of girl on drip in ward, now with 14 lit candles impaled in her icing body. She expires en route to extinguishing the flames.

PlanktonSideburns

  • encoded by an oaf
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1899 on: July 21, 2021, 10:33:02 PM »
Belted up the arse to the theme tune of the Dogtanian cartoon.

Someone one on here imagined being belted up the arse by someone wearing these



And I don't know if that mental image will ever leave me now

PlanktonSideburns

  • encoded by an oaf
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1900 on: July 21, 2021, 10:34:55 PM »
Your neighbour tells you to come round to his for a barbecue as he has a "cuntload of sausage and no fridge"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1901 on: July 21, 2021, 10:49:11 PM »
Some good ones on this page

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1902 on: July 21, 2021, 10:51:22 PM »
Saracen the gladiator abuses your trust to leave a bleeding goat in your lockup

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1903 on: July 21, 2021, 10:53:21 PM »
Belted up the arse by Eurasia's premiere termite breeder. He has a scuttling way about him but a violent thrusting desire.

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Take it easy, but take it.
    • I am antsy for baseball in the off-season.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1904 on: July 21, 2021, 11:20:58 PM »
A drunken Craig David approaches your front door, but bottles it before he can complete a Knock Door Run.

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1905 on: July 22, 2021, 02:52:18 AM »
Leaving a wank sock out in the sun to dry out only it doesn’t dry out it ferments. A passing goat eats the spunk wine soaked sock gets drunk wanders into the road and causes a major pile up with many fatalities. An autopsy on the goat reveals the source of intoxication and the Vet who did the operation, your mum, goes to the papers and says it was the socks she gave you for Christmas.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1906 on: July 22, 2021, 06:40:51 AM »
A drunken sober Craig David approaches your front door, but bottles it before he can complete a Knock Door Run.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1907 on: July 22, 2021, 12:38:59 PM »
You are rendered void, such is the power of the rendering, you fly up your own arsehole becoming a singularity, in a petrol station Greggs.

touchingcloth

  • Member
  • **
  • such
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1908 on: July 22, 2021, 02:05:15 PM »
You catch a lethal dose of COVID while attending an inadequately socially distanced screening of a directors cut of Mrs. Brown’s Boys D’Movie. Your last words before leaving for the showing were “if I get COVID I get COVID so”

jenna appleseed

  • "F••• you Captain Tom."
    • Blog for a Dennis Wilson (Beach Boys) charity fanzine.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1909 on: July 22, 2021, 05:55:45 PM »
Belted up the arse to the theme tune of the Dogtanian cartoon.

Pounded in the butt by your Chuck Tingle/Dogtanian slash fiction.

dex

  • Maybe, but there again maybe not.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1910 on: July 22, 2021, 07:11:26 PM »
Someone one on here imagined being belted up the arse by someone wearing these



And I don't know if that mental image will ever leave me now

*shudders*

Imagine getting sonic and knuckled after being belted?

Glebe

  • We're all in the gutter.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1911 on: July 22, 2021, 08:35:14 PM »
A negative Norris slams his glans into the edge of The Best of Engelbert Humperdinck as it spins on the turntable.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1912 on: July 23, 2021, 12:26:32 PM »
You become disillusioned with the latest content from the Boglin Cinematic Universe.

touchingcloth

  • Member
  • **
  • such

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1914 on: July 23, 2021, 09:55:33 PM »
Please let that be the end of it

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • My meatus is beyond compare
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1915 on: July 23, 2021, 11:41:23 PM »
Huddled together for worms.

Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1916 on: July 25, 2021, 08:55:42 PM »
Toppled by a moron felled by a dickhead who was lamped by a man with 'legitimate concerns'.

Catalogue of ills

  • Yeeaah, that's right!
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1917 on: July 30, 2021, 10:46:26 AM »
You set a world record for the number of burning copies of The Guinness Book of World Records accurately hurled at disabled and immobile children in 2 minutes. A life's dream fulfilled.

batwings

  • Timewaster seeks same. No timewasters please.
Re: Desolation VI: The Covidian Wastes
« Reply #1918 on: July 30, 2021, 12:15:47 PM »
You fed a Polo mint to Robert Smith and now he’s followed you home.





Tags: