Old Doctor Who - Part 4

[Replies From View]

What kids are finding Chibnall's Who scary and exciting, anyway?  It's mostly standing around talking, no atmosphere at all.  I work in a school and I never hear a single person talking about Doctor Who now.


If you're going to say that Chibnall's Who is better than what we got in the late 80s there needs to be some input from seven and eight year olds, I reckon.  Any parents got any experiences of this?  Any case studies of kids having nightmares from the show now? 

[Camp Tramp]

Don't forget Doctor Who was responding to complaints that it had become too violent and scary.  It couldn't win.

Anyway I did find Paradise Towers scary as a seven year old - I told you.

That is because you're a cowardly cutlet.

[Replies From View]

That is because you're a cowardly cutlet.

WERE yes



firm as a basin now

[Camp Tramp]

WERE yes



firm as a basin now

Cowardly cutlet was definitely a failed attempt at future colonial slang.

[Norton Canes]

A timely republishing: Andrew Cartmel's SCRIPT DOCTOR: THE INSIDE STORY OF DOCTOR WHO 1986-89

[purlieu]

Doctor Who and the Tories Falls the Shadow by Daniel O'Mahoney


About 30 pages into this book, I had a look online to see if O'Mahoney had written any other Who books. One: The Man in the Velvet Mask. That immediately explained a lot: that book has a similarly grimy, bleak and surreal atmosphere. It's very difficult to accurately describe or review this book, so instead I'll highlight a few things that happen. The TARDIS is yanked off course and lands in a labyrinthine cellar of a mysterious country house. Said house is constructed like an Esher painting. At no point is it explained where and when the story is set (one assumes Britain, 20th century, but it's vague). Two orbs of light torture and kill a child. A man described simply (or indeed extensively) as 'grey' watches over and is killed numerous times. An insect-like creature is transported into a wardrobe. An assassin from an erased timeline arrives on a mission from a secular republican version of Great Britain. Two exceptionally attractive people spend much of the story brutally physically and mentally torturing every character in the book, and occasionally having sex with each other. A botanist tends his man-eating orchids. The Doctor and a mad scientist get trapped in the interstitial plane: the space between every moment in time. Faces of the unborn appear at a window. A woman has sex with a mentally deranged man and his faceless clone. Said mentally deranged man turns into a gestalt of said unborn. A god-like deity from the birth of the universe presides over a dystopian city administrated by Easter Island statues. The city was, in the past, attacked by the Mara. Benny dies. Twice. Every guest character dies.

The format of the NAs means that continuity can be a pain in the arse, and while there's a brief reference at the start to Ace's hair growing back, her character has reverted to the more violent version we had about ten books ago. This is particularly jarring given how much time Mark Gatiss spent setting up her - what I imagine to be not-far-off - departure by having her more peaceful and increasingly uncomfortable in her body armour. In many ways, this book really feels like it should have come before St. Anthony's Fire, as its ludicrous psychological toll would explain that book's initial desire for a holiday, and Ace's decision to move away from violence.

I enjoyed that, anyway. It was utterly confusing and a bit of a mess, but it was daring and inventive and full of surprises.

[BRen]

Pretty gutted as I had to sell my seven blu-ray season sets just before Christmas, needed the money.

I keep thinking, 'oh, I'll just buy them again in the future', but the prospect of that is unlikely as they're just going to get more expensive as time goes on aren't they?

What are the chances they'll release a 'complete blu-ray box set' one day after all of the season sets have been released?

[crankshaft]

Pretty gutted as I had to sell my seven blu-ray season sets just before Christmas, needed the money.

I keep thinking, 'oh, I'll just buy them again in the future', but the prospect of that is unlikely as they're just going to get more expensive as time goes on aren't they?

What are the chances they'll release a 'complete blu-ray box set' one day after all of the season sets have been released?

I think a digital release seems more likely. If they do release a "complete" box it's bound to be severely limited in number and extremely expensive. Plus they'll no doubt find The Space Pirates the day after it goes on sale.

[daf]

Pretty gutted as I had to sell my seven blu-ray season sets just before Christmas, needed the money.

Oof - sorry to hear that!

What are the chances they'll release a 'complete blu-ray box set' one day after all of the season sets have been released?

Unlikely - though I wouldn't rule out something like a complete Third Doctor or Fourth Doctor Set - I can see that happening.

A complete set, if it happens, would be at least a decade away due to either waiting for missing episodes to return, or the time needed to animate the gaps - and could well be just a bare-bones episodes only affair.

In the meantime, if you want to fill in some of the gaps, I think the US versions might offer a reasonable alternative at a fraction of the price - though without the lovely shelf-hogging packaging.

[purlieu]

Yes, the US versions are probably your best bet if you're thinking of buying in the future. They're standard packaging, which is a curse and a blessing: ultimately far less lovely as objects, but actually much more sensible, and the idea of having the entirely classic series in a fairly small space kind of appeals to me.

[Replies From View]

When they get around to colourising Invasion of the Dinosaurs episode 1, I hope they release it on DVD too.

[Bad Ambassador]

When they get around to colourising Invasion of the Dinosaurs episode 1, I hope they release it on DVD too.

There's a colour version on the DVD. It's not the default and its shonky quality, but it's there.

[Replies From View]

There's a colour version on the DVD. It's not the default and its shonky quality, but it's there.

I know.  I have all the DVDs.  I mean one that isn't shonky, in a special edition.


Considering what they've done with Kinda and various other stories, I feel it's inevitable that they'll revisit Invasion of the Dinosaurs more thoroughly at some point.  The blu ray release seems the most natural time, but I don't have a blu ray player so selfishly hope they'll stick it out on DVD too.

[JamesTC]

Unlikely - though I wouldn't rule out something like a complete Third Doctor or Fourth Doctor Set - I can see that happening.

A complete set, if it happens, would be at least a decade away due to either waiting for missing episodes to return, or the time needed to animate the gaps - and could well be just a bare-bones episodes only affair.

I'm wondering that. Just lump the existing discs in bulky amaray cases and package them as The Complete Doctor Who Vol 1 etc. Something like:

Volume 1 - Season 1-3
Volume 2 - Season 4-6
Volume 3 - Season 7-10
Volume 4 - Season 11-14
Volume 5 - Season 15-18
Volume 6 - Season 19-22
Volume 7 - Season 23-Wilderness

Who knows if it would be sustainable but all the work is already paid for, so you would think it would have some sort of an audience that would justify it.

[JamesTC]

Don't know why this made me laugh so much.

[daf]

THIS is why he needs to travel with a companion - the soppy sod!

(I mean, regardless of the scam, those "internet pills" could have any old ground-up shit in them!)

[Replies From View]

"continued"....

[JamesTC]

Doctor Who and the Diet Pills

The Doctor: In all my travelling throughout the universe, I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators, Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen - they're still in the nursery compared to you. £158.40 of overcharging. That's what it takes to be really corrupt.

[Replies From View]

"continued"....

Blimey, seeing this on loop like this, I've only just realised they couldn't even keep his head still while they removed the wig, so his ear moves in the fade.

[A Hat Like That]

Bought myself a load of Hartnell Targets - basically, the missing/incomplete stories.

First one to arrive was ...

The Myth Makers - really, wasn't expecting it to be written from 3rd person POV. Lovely opening few scenes.

[Norton Canes]

Ah, the Donald Cotton target novelisations... one of the great treasures of literature

[jenna appleseed]

A timely republishing: Andrew Cartmel's SCRIPT DOCTOR: THE INSIDE STORY OF DOCTOR WHO 1986-89

just got that, it's awesome, thanks.

[Norton Canes]

Cheers! Hoping mine turns up today.

[purlieu]

Doctor Who and Benny's Enormous Breasts Parasite by Jim Mortimer


Right.
What this book has going for it is the setting. The Artifact, in which almost the entire book is set, is a... thing in space, the shape of a Klein bottle hundreds of thousands of miles across. Inside it is a world inside-out, with mountains and forests on the rim, a cylindrical ocean flowing through the centre, asteroids and small moons floating around in between. Gravity is barely existent, meaning it's possible to float from one area to the next. Unique and bizarre lifeforms inhabit the ecosystem, from DNA-shifting fungi to metallic spherical bugs, flying jellyfish and circular, seven legged creatures that behave like monkeys. The first third of the book is largely set aside to exploring this mind-bending location. As the story progresses, we 'discover' (although, to me at least, it was pretty clearly signposted fairly early on) that the Artifact is in fact a life form. The ecosystem that has developed inside it is partially beneficial in the way our own bacteria is; other life inside becomes parasitised by the fungus spores, its DNA absorbed, with the parasite eventually bursting out as a sperm that moves into the Artifact's second chamber, containing a moon-sized egg. The ocean, meantime, takes other matter through singularities that exist within the Artifact, out to parts of space where it (somehow) creates suns and gas giant planets which will eventually act as a support system for the egg when it's laid.
It's all a bit ludicrous, but it's explored reasonably coherently and is the potential setting for a really interesting hard SF novel.

What this book doesn't have going for it is the plot. Effectively, two shuttles of students, the Doctor, Ace and Benny arrive, explore the inside of the Artifact, and all either get killed, parasitised, have limbs removed, go blind, spend most of the book in a self-induced coma or suffer some other kind of body horror. Only the main trio get out of the book alive. On the odd occasion that the characters have some sort of impact on the actual goings on, it's not really clear what has happened, why, or how. Given how much time Mortimer spends making an almost incomprehensible world seem very real, it's astonishing how vague and technobable-ish the characters' actions are. Ultimately, I don't quite know what the characters did to escape, or how any of them were alive by the end, or how any of them survived the parasites. I suppose there's some possibility that some of this will be resolved at the start of the next book, but it's unlikely. As it is, the book closes with Benny in a psychologically damaged state, Ace still parasitised and recovering from blindness (somehow), and The Doctor having survived a gunshot to the heart and, separately, having had a brief aborted regeneration. Meanwhile, there's a subplot involving the son of a character from earlier Mortimer novel Lucifer Rising, who adds nothing at all to the plot. And there's a threat of a solar-system-wide civil war that gets forgotten by the final third.

The characters were a mixed bag. The Doctor is absent for three-quarters of the book, and extremely vague and quiet when he's there. What character he has is at least in line with his usual self at this point. Benny is still Benny, and brings the only humour in the whole book. Ace is actively unpleasant throughout, pretty much bullying a guy - previously a shuttle pilot - because he's - justifiably - absolutely terrified of everything going on, and chastising him for refusing to pluck out her eyes with a shard of glass. She finally decides that she's definitely going to leave soon which, at this point, is a bit of a relief, as in the past few books she's reverted to the tediously angsty character she was when she returned from her soldiering sabbatical. The only guest characters of real note are an unusually evolved monkey creature who has some intelligence and provides some light relief, and Midnight, a man from the start of the book who has evolved into a weird shapeless blob for no obvious reason, who manages to have more warmth, humanity and sympathetic feelings than any of the actual human guests.

There's the basis for a truly excellent book in Parasite. The Artifact, its ecosystem and life-cycle, and everything that lives inside it are all ripe for deeper exploration. It would make the setting for a superb TV show. Unfortunately, Mortimer's taste for body horror, torture porn and general grimness overrides any of that potential.

Still, Benny's got massive tits, eh lads?

[crankshaft]

Mortimore is an arsehole. Try and find an editor he hasn't managed to piss off. He seems to love taking umbrage after submitting books and scripts that go completely against the brief he was given, then acting like the editors are unprofessional when they object.

Here's what he said about current DW:

"The BBC agenda is demonstrably biased. (To the point where in a episode where none of the male characters were anything other than stupid, naive or ineffectual only white actors were cast, as opposed to other episodes where the casting was diverse) Dr Who is simply one more aspect of their agenda."

So fuck him.

[Bad Ambassador]

It's quite a bit of a knockoff of Greg Bear's Eon, which has a similar setting, but with a time element. Mortimore apparently wrote this strictly for the cash while his father was dying, which might be why its such a draining ordeal to get through. Aside from Interference and Shroud of Sorrow, my least favourite Who novel.

[purlieu]

None of that surprises me much.

I haven't even bought my copy of the next book (the second part of Cartmel's 'War' trilogy, whoop-de-fucking-do) yet, so it'll be a while before the next review. I thought I'd use this gap as an opportunity to share a number of screencaps and photos of notable moments from various books to date. These are all from various Instagram posts over the years. First up...




It's worth noting that I no longer like Gareth Roberts.

[daf]

Bloody hell - is that from a Doctor Who novel?

[Bad Ambassador]

Heart of TARDIS, a 2nd/4th Doctor BBC novel by Dave Stone.

[jenna appleseed]

When the fuck was Stanley Unwin in a Doctor Who book?