What's the most embarrassing surname?

[salr]

Back in primary school a friend of mine lived next door to a family with the surname Manshit.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

I used to work with a bloke called Stu Balls, he married and his wife Sandy took his surname.

[nero]

We had some appropriate surnames-careers in my town. Marie Huff worked for the asthma foundation, Michael Burny was the fire chief and we had a family of Hoggs who were unfortunately all hugely fat and (also unfortunately) lived on Eatwell Ave.

[chveik]

I used to work with a bloke called Stu Balls, he married and his wife Sandy took his surname.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1Zl8FQ0sgg

[Jockice]

It's at this point I usually mention that I know a Scarlett Gash,

[Brundle-Fly]

D'eath is a strange one. What if you wanted to become a doctor or a judge? You'd have to be like Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein (1974) constantly correcting people on the pronunciation of your surname ("It's Franken-STEEN!") to shake off any scary connotations 

[Pingers]

D'eath is a strange one. What if you wanted to become a doctor or a judge? You'd have to be like Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein (1974) constantly correcting people on the pronunciation of your surname ("It's Franken-STEEN!") to shake off any scary connotations

Then there's Hfuhruhurr, of course.

[Jasha]

[Mr Banlon]

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

[ollyboro]

Jack Brownsword is a Scunthorpe United legend.

[darth andy]

Mrs Childharmer

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

I'll see your Stefan Kuntz and raise you a Rusty Kuntz

[Tony Tony Tony]

Dean Windass played for Hull City and currently manages East Hull.

I wouldn't take the piss though as he looks well hard

[Tony Tony Tony]

Semms there are a lot of Kuntz around...

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I'll see your Stefan Kuntz and raise you a Rusty Kuntz

I already done that one, bastard. Get your own Kuntz.

[Ambient Sheep]

D'eath is a strange one. What if you wanted to become a doctor or a judge?

I went to school with a De'Ath.  His first names were Daryl Ronald.  Yes, work it out. :)  His parents clearly had a strange sense of humour.

He became neither a doctor nor a judge, however he IS very mildly famous, under a different name, and despite having a Wikipedia entry his birthname seems to have remained undocumented anywhere on the internet (I decided to have a scout round of old schoolfriends in sheer boredom near the start of lockdown).  I guess he must have legally changed it shortly after leaving school in '83.

[seepage]

Uphill-Baumgarten

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

Boswego

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I worked with somebody called O'Nions once, which is moderately embarrassing.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

I had to visit a Mr Wanklyn a few years back and was so determined to be nonchalant about his name that when Mrs Wanklyn answered the door my feigned unconcern made it seem like I was trying to avoid saying it. In fact, so "unaware" was I of any vaguely humourous connotations that I doubled down and emphasised the first syllable. "Oh, hello. I'd like to speak to Mister errrrrmmmm WANKlyn please". Cue very tight lipped nod from Mrs Wanklyn.

[rue the polywhirl]

Dean Windass played for Hull City and currently manages East Hull.

I wouldn't take the piss though as he looks well hard

Plus he has suffered badly from depression and taking the piss is never a nice thing to do.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Some I done rememberored:

Chicken
Strawberry
Goose
Cheers

[evilcommiedictator]

Also, pronouncing the name 'Cockburn' as 'Coh-burn' has to be one of the more implausible flights of fancy within English language pronunciation/spelling mismatches. It's like if someone ended up with the surname Penis and the powers that be were all, oh no, Sir, we can't possibly have that, your name is 'PEIS'

Related to this is the amazing Shaun Micallef sketch
"When did Cock Being Co? Was Cobb and Co Cobb and Cock? Dencockrub?"

[Brundle-Fly]

I went to school with a De'Ath. 

You spelled it correctly unlike me. I thought I checked.  I used to know a D'Arcy at college and once for a laugh pronounced it as 'Der Arsey' to his face. It was the first and final time I did that.

[the midnight watch baboon]

I HAVE known a Mr Wanklin.
And a (Sandy) Bush... real name, no gimmicks
And a Mr Squelch

[Pingers]

I HAVE known a Mr Wanklin.
And a (Sandy) Bush... real name, no gimmicks
And a Mr Squelch

Decades ago I had a boss who read the Daily Mail and on bored lunch breaks I would have a look through. I've always remembered an article about a young woman who was squashed to death under her horse - her name was Jennifer Squelch. I bet her parents had a good laugh about that.

[thenoise]

Also known a 'Mr Mub'.  A back to front backside!  Hours of amusement.

[Ambient Sheep]

You spelled it correctly unlike me. I thought I checked.

There's a few variants around, e.g. D'Ath, so it's possible.

I used to know a D'Arcy at college and once for a laugh pronounced it as 'Der Arsey' to his face. It was the first and final time I did that.

Probably for the same reason that nobody called my bloke "Dr Death" more than once. :-)

[Ambient Sheep]

Suddenly remembered something else, fairly minor but fuck it...

Our guy pronounced it pretty much as written: "Dee Ath".  However at one point in the late 70s we had a supply teacher come in for our form teacher, who was off ill.

First time he took the register: "Darth?"  Cue the entire class dissolving into laughter plus lightsaber impressions.

_{^{(Apparently Samsung hasn't heard of Star Wars.  No kidding, it autocorrected "Darth" to "Farthingstone".  Obviously.)}}