I May Destroy You

[Non Stop Dancer]

How about if you had sex with an actual woman who then revealed that she was a lesbian. That's something I am entitled to rule on as a straight man with no homophobic tendencies. I don't think that would bother me if it was a relatively random hookup as this seemed to be (although there was some suggestion that there had been a rapport established prior to this unlike Kwame's dial-a-fuck encounters that we see).

ETA - I am siding with Puce Moment on this in terms of disclosure for random hookups.

My original post made that exact point and I did say it wouldn't bother me. That's just me though and what I'm less sure of is whether being bothered about having that information withheld is a legitimate position to take.

I guess it comes down to whether or not people have the right to be homophobic.

[paruses]

Yes - sorry that was your exact post. Apologies for overlooking it.

Was there an explicit reason that Kwame suddenly decided to try women? I don't remember if it we pre- or post- his pinball of hookups. Part of the point of it is for Arabella to have a melt down and then gain some perspective, isn't it? I can't remember if she ever backed down or changed her position towards Kwame over it. They just seemed to make up.

[bgmnts]

What if you wer having sex with someone and they blurted out that they was a Tory. Is it acceptable to vomit in their face/hair/back?

[Bence Fekete]

How about if you had sex with an actual woman who then revealed that she was a lesbian.

Edit: rambling story about nearly having drunk sex with a lesbian once. It was a relief when she told me. And everything made sense really

[Puce Moment]

How about if you had sex with an actual woman who then revealed that she was a lesbian. That's something I am entitled to rule on as a straight man with no homophobic tendencies. I don't think that would bother me if it was a relatively random hookup as this seemed to be (although there was some suggestion that there had been a rapport established prior to this unlike Kwame's dial-a-fuck encounters that we see).

ETA - I am siding with Puce Moment on this in terms of disclosure for random hookups.

Imagine someone expecting a woman to have to talk about her previous sexual experiences prior to intercourse like it's fucking donating blood. Who would do that?

[paruses]

Terri and the waiter felt tacked on. Almost as if the thought was "what haven't we included? Oh, non-binary stuff. Right, Terri can do that". Her threesome arc got short shrift too. Only got mentioned to Arabella with a "I'm a bit mugged off a out that" which got ignored.

[poodlefaker]

There was a lot that felt tacked on, imo - Terri and the waiter, Ben the flatmate, the original planned threesome, the flashbacks about her dad, the second trip to Italy. Def. needed tightening up.

[poodlefaker]

I loved [...] the silly gags (often in the background)

Can you give some examples? I was half pissed when I watched most of it and not paying attention. Trying to decide whther it's worth another go.

[kitsofan34]

There was a lot that felt tacked on, imo - Terri and the waiter, Ben the flatmate, the original planned threesome, the flashbacks about her dad, the second trip to Italy. Def. needed tightening up.

Especially interesting considering I read somewhere she wrote 80 drafts.

[mjwilson]

191.

https://www.vulture.com/article/michaela-coel-i-may-destroy-you.html

[McFlymo]

I thought the threesome (and cheating Simon) at the start, was to setup how Simon wasn't trustworthy. It was to throw us off the later reveal that Terry was actually the one who told Simon to leave Arabella.

I also think we're being a bit harsh about things not being fleshed out etc, to me, these threads were intriguing and believable on their own, which was one of the show's real strong points for me: That it blended a heavier / dominant arc with casual events / experiences in a way that felt different to a lot of TV drama like this. This was what reminded me of This Life and made it feel fresh. Admittedly Terry's encounter with the trans man (actually played by a trans man called Tyler Luke Cunningham) was a box ticking moment, but so what? What's wrong with a bit of shoe horning in of something that is a hot topic of the moment? I was chuffed to bits, and I know some trans people who were too. They could've been a little less obvious about it, but I've seen much worse shows deal with topics like this in much hammier ways!

For what it's worth, I really didn't like Kwame having sex with the woman and not disclosing his motivations.

oh! Someone asked why he was doing it: I believe it was in response to him being raped by a man. It traumatised him into believing that his gay lifestyle was dangerous and he should try and abandon it.

To me him not disclosing his intentions was an abuse of power and an abuse of her trust. It was pretty awful and she was very lenient (maybe almost too lenient) about it. Its not even so much about him being gay, it's more about him using her as an experiment that I find really troubling. It's like mates egging each other on, playing tricks like daring their mate to shag a <insert not stereotypically "beautiful" type> woman for a laugh. It's exploiting that person's trust and abusing that person, as far as I'm concerned. I think it worked well in the show, how it wasn't just a clear cut, awful thing, as the girl was reasonably forgiving, but at the same time, I was deeply uncomfortable with him going through with it. (maybe as A GAY MAWN NAY myself, who's at a couple of points in my life thought about doing something like this to "test my gayness" I found that whole thing awkward to watch) ...

[zomgmouse]

Just watched this last week. Absolutely loved it. The character ambiguities, the nuanced thoughtful treatment of heavy issues, the boldness and yet the willingness to let so much lie open and have the space there for processing and interpretation. Not judging anybody for their actions but not necessarily letting them off scot-free, just creating an environment for things to happen. Genius use of flashbacking, especially the inclusion of that school episode. Superb work.

[Mister Six]

Especially interesting considering I read somewhere she wrote 80 drafts.

I dunno, that sounds exactly like what happens when you do that many drafts - characters, scenes, lines of dialogue that you love end up sticking around even though their plots have been shrunk down to make way for other things and they really ought to be cut out altogether.

[phantom_power]

I think the hanging plot points are a strength, not a fault. It is more realistic as life has these little detours that go nowhere and you don't know when they happen whether they are going to mean something or not.

Kwame having sex with a girl was because he didn't feel safe around men after his assault but still wanted to have sex. I felt what he did was pretty bad. He was lying by omission as it would be natural for her to assume he was straight and that she wasn't some sort of experiment. I also think it wasn't explicitly a one-night stand.

I loved the show. I thought it was really powerful and emotional and showed things that are never discussed in TV and films. The difference between the male and female experience of reporting rape may have been a bit heavy-handed but where else do you see that sort of representation. The same with the trans man, the confusing and conflicting experiences of rape survivors, the minefield of consent and what makes something right, wrong, understandable, wrong-but-forgivable, beyond the pale and all points in between. Also revenge, redemption, closure. All those things that are generally dealt with so tritely in other shows seemed to have real depth and ambiguity here.

At first I thought the multiple endings were a bit too clever for their own good but then realised that it was all about her realising that looking for revenge or redemption was never going to give her closure and understanding and accepting that was the key to her growth and success