Unwritten Gaming Rules

[Sheffield Wednesday]

Approach your target and attack.

Your mission starts now.

[Ferris]

That door requires a key. That door does not, and will not ever open - it is basically a textured piece of wall. Do not ask how I can tell the difference.

Do a specific thing to the boss three times, now do this other thing once. Boss is now dead.

[Blue Jam]

The player character is a hulking brute who can climb over walls no problem. Think they can step over that 2cm pile of rubble blocking the exit? Think again.

[Spiteface]

If a new DLC character is introduced into a fighting game, they will inevitably be overpowered making the game feel "pay to win"

[earl_sleek]

Any key can open any door.

[earl_sleek]

Locked doors can never be broken down, even if they are made of wood, and you are a legendary warrior who can defeat whole armies single handedly, or a powerful wizard who can hurl fireballs or levitate for minutes on end. They just won't budge!

[Ferris]

Any key can open any door.

Or worse, a mortise key can open a cylinder lock.

[Bazooka]

The person you are escorting, has brain damage and will valiantly stand in between you and the enemy you are trying to protect them from.

[Kryton]

Kill a thousand men - many of whom you had no quarrel with. Cut off heads, limbs, disembowel some cunt. Throw people off ledges, feed people to animals, hurl people into fire.

CUTSCENE:

'Hey you're that good guy right, can you go rescue my kids?'

[Kryton]

The only village in the middle of nowhere. Miles and miles away from anything.

Stagger into the shop.

'Do you have food or water? Hiking equipment?'

'No'

'Umm... what do you sell?'

'Guns, large swords and glowing crystals'

[Blue Jam]

Kill a thousand men - many of whom you had no quarrel with. Cut off heads, limbs, disembowel some cunt. Throw people off ledges, feed people to animals, hurl people into fire.

CUTSCENE:

'Hey you're that good guy right, can you go rescue my kids?'

I love that bit in RDR2 where Arthur Morgan is at the train station, sitting on a bench next to the nun telling her "Ahhhhhhve led a baaaaad life, sistah" and she tells him "No, you're so kind, you're always helping people". It was so like After Life I collapsed giggling.

[Thursday]

Kill a thousand men - many of whom you had no quarrel with. Cut off heads, limbs, disembowel some cunt. Throw people off ledges, feed people to animals, hurl people into fire.

CUTSCENE:

'Hey you're that good guy right, can you go rescue my kids?'

Similarly - *Kill thousands of hired mercenaries, come face to face with the big bad guy who killed your family and also half a continent.*

"Ahh, but if you kill me, are you really any better?"

"Damn it! He's got a point"

*He takes this moment while your character pauses to kill your best mate and your girlfriend and uses the ancient artifact to transform into a god-like being.*

"You bastard, I'm not going to let you get away with this!"