Wife is pregnant, gonna get a tadpole

[All Surrogate]

Congratulations!

[Ferris]

the muconium shit

Oh yeah fuckin hell.

IYKYK.

[Junket Pumper]

For the first time, all being well, in December a beautiful frog will join our family.

Bit annoyed that COVID has scuppered any babymoons or last days of hedonism we might have had. But having a little alien that follows you around all day is more worthwhile in the long run, right? At least that's what I'll need to tell myself to stay sane.

Anyone read any good books about parenting and that? Serious question - there are so many around and I bet half of them are patronising shite

Other advice/sick jokes also welcome

Paul McMullan, former News of the World phone hacker wrote a book of advice for fathers. You can pick up some great tips and feel good knowing you've financially supporting him AND Jeff Bezos

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Helpful-Tips-Hopless-Dads-McMullan-ebook/dp/B00UYZ1G9K/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?dchild=1&qid=1609704293&refinements=p_27%3APaul+Mcmullan&s=books&sr=1-13

[Magnum Valentino]

What the fuck does Hopless Dads mean? It can't just be a spelling mistake on the cover and URL of his book can it?

[Junket Pumper]

What the fuck does Hopless Dads mean? It can't just be a spelling mistake on the cover and URL of his book can it?

Maybe it's for men who only drink hopless beer.

And remember: privacy is for paedos!

[Ferris]

So!

Tell us all about the meconium shit. Wasn't it the best?

[poo]

Congrats. First four years are an unremitting nightmare, not gonna lie.

[Old Nehamkin]

Belated congratulations on the baby situation, pal. Should be a laugh!

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

Congrats pal

[PlanktonSideburns]

yea well done mate

[Ferris]

Forget the "congrats" - I want red hot meconium chat, and I want it now.

[Blinder Data]

thanks all for well wishes. I think I got pretty lucky because I don't remember changing a meconium nappy - mum and baby were kept in for two nights so I think she/midwives did the first few.

tbh I might have done one but I can barely remember anything anymore. i am living through groundhog Day. times and dates mean nothing to me. somewhat naively we thought we'd cracked it with a bit of a routine but now she's having none of it. thank fuck for generous paternity leave.

she's a cutie tho so it's worth it

[JaDanketies]

Get washable nappies. Your kid probably won't fit in them yet but they will very soon and it'll save you thousands of pounds and is better for the environment. We like the Mamma Koala brand especially. And then dry them on a sock hanger. Get enough for three or four days.

Oh if your bairn doesn't take to breastfeeding, the best sterilising thing we found was a steam steriliser; Tommy Tippee made ours.

You might think it's great how everyone's on your side and you're getting all this help. Consider everyone as being a mole for social services. Your health visitor, your midwives, whoever you spoke to when you were expecting, even your GP - they're all 'front line health workers' and they all share everything with each-other; there's no confidentiality.

No other advice. Like Ferris said a while back, don't worry if you don't much like it initially. It gets better. Also I didn't feel that crazy immense love the moment I first saw him covered in embryonic fluid, but I still loved him, and I get that 'I really love you' feeling now. I think the earliest months are appreciated by mums more than dads.

[Ferris]

Meconium Chat Rating: ATROCIOUS.

Took us 3 months to get a "routine" so don't feel disheartened if you don't crack it right away. It's hard going, but you get through it, you're so knackered you don't remember any of it, and it's fine if you don't think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread right away - it gets better. 6-8 weeks is smiling, that's a nice change. Look out for that one. Kept us going!

I agree on the bottle steam sterilizer bag things though, they're tops. Pop em in the microwave full of bottle bits, 45 seconds in there to steam away, job done.

All the best with it, I'm around if you need tips. My tips are probably shit, but Ferris Jr seems fine so there we go.