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Aliens and Predator

Started by madhair60, June 19, 2020, 05:35:12 PM

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NoSleep

Quote from: Replies From View on June 21, 2020, 11:34:51 AM
Trust me mate.


Everyone is constantly eating stinky sausage rolls that have little squeakers embedded in them, people can't perceive anymore when they are not at home so they endlessly chat, stand up to walk around and kick footballs around and stuff.  Phones are kept on in case an important business call comes in that they must answer, or their pal Gavin from Schwartz Bros Burgers is ready to noisily burst in with some free Squeakies with Cheese for them.


"Audience participation" films are ones with everyone thinking it is the height of WIT ITSELF to bellow out lines from two seconds later in the film.  HAHA WE ARE REMEMBERING THE SCRIPT OF THIS FILM JUST IN TIME TO RUIN IT.  WE ARE GENIUS AND THIS SCREENING IS ABOUT US.



I am increasingly an old man by nature but this stuff was anathema to me when I was 15 and cinema behaviour has only got worse over the last 25 years.  Even nice Picturehouse screenings of art house films or documentaries are now frequented by pensioners who constantly natter and unwrap infinite supplies of boiled sweets and pass egg sandwiches around between themselves.


Long live the lockdown with its internet streams of art events and performances.

I wasn't talking about going to see an old film with a cult following. I was told this was good to see in a crowded cinema the week it was released, so nobody knew the plot. Lots of cheering the goodies and booing the cunts.

madhair60

Just put Alien Resurrection on. It's already bollocks and the logo only just came up.

NoSleep

Good honest bollocks, then.

Pete23

Alien films are better when people are turned into Alien eggs while still alive as that seems the nastiest way to go (so it's the Alien Directors cut for me). We came so close to an Alien 3 with living convict Alien eggs, they were even modeling final effects before they got canned: https://www.avpgalaxy.net/alien-movies/alien-3/the-meat-locker/

Proper ranking of Alien franchise:

Alien
...big gap...
Alien 4
...
Aliens
...big gap...
Alien 3

Blumf

The aliens from Alien aren't even proper aliens, because they don't have ray guns!

Replies From View

Quote from: Pearly-Dewdrops Drops on June 21, 2020, 04:10:35 PM
Proper ranking of Alien franchise:

Alien
...big gap...
Alien 4
...
Aliens
...big gap...
Alien 3

Alien 4 only works on that list when NUMBER TWO is used as slang for POO.


Try to watch it if you don't believe me that it is shit.  Hey presto you'll realise you can't!

Stoneage Dinosaurs

Alien was cool. Still don't understand why that robot was full of milk though.

Replies From View

Quote from: Angrew Lloyg Wegger on June 21, 2020, 04:48:00 PM
Alien was cool. Still don't understand why that robot was full of milk though.

That's because you grew up in Thatcher's Britain.

C_Larence

Watched almost all the movies in both series for the first time recently, except the two most recent Predator movies and Alien which I had already seen.

Hard to choose between Alien and Aliens but I'd say the latter is more fun to watch.
Alien 3 is ok, until the god awful third act where everyone is running around an endless maze of corridors for what feels like half an hour
Resurrection hasn't aged well at all, I think if I saw it at the time I'd have liked it but the Whedon style isn't suited to the series. Slightly better than 3 though.
Prometheus was fine, I remember people online getting extremely angry about it when it came out, but watching it years later I don't know what all the fuss was about. Just a beige bit of nothing.
Was extremely surprised by how much I enjoyed Covenant. Fassbender's performances are both great and I found it to be very tense from the second things start going south, which is pretty early on.

Alien Vs Predator, again surprisingly not bad.
Alien Vs Predator 2. Absolutely fucking godawful. One of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. Everyone involved should be blacklisted.

Predator. Didn't like that much. It's fine.
Predator 2. Complete shit. Badly paced, boring characters, shit dialogue. Why the fuck does the predator know to finish the "ugly motherfucker" line, why does Danny Glover know to say it? I liked that Predator ended with Arnie using blackface to beat the predator, and at the end of this Danny Glover has whiteface on after he escapes from the predator ship. I half expect Predators to end with Adrian Brody sellotaping his eyes and putting on a straw hat.

Almost forgot to mention my favourite aspect of the Alien series. The xenomorph's swishing tail sound effect. A delightful comical noise that feels out of place every time it's used.


dissolute ocelot

The great thing about Aliens is watching all the Space Marines and Weyland-Yutani dicks getting killed one by one because they are all assholes who deserve to die. There aren't many films where it's so enjoyable watching all the main characters die. Res Evil 1 maybe, but nobody would claim it's as good as Aliens. In contrast, I didn't particularly want the cast of Alien to die, so it scores lower. And Prometheus I just switched off, which is one way of accomplishing the same thing.

EDIT: Predator: it's mildly enjoyable watching some of them die so it scores middling.

Jerzy Bondov

My dad calls Alien 3, 'Alien Cubed' because the 3 is small. Does anyone else do this?

I was disappointed to find it didn't have an alien in a cube.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on June 22, 2020, 03:36:30 PM
My dad calls Alien 3, 'Alien Cubed' because the 3 is small. Does anyone else do this?

Still do whenever I'm talking to someone who would get the "joke".

I never expected there to be an alien in a cube, though.  That's just silly.

NoSleep

I'm sure an alien got cubed at some time in the franchise.

Bad Ambassador

Quote from: Kelvin on June 20, 2020, 02:03:54 PM
Alien is brilliant, but Aliens is nothing special, imo. Two dimensional characters. The aliens are stupid and boring. It doesn't feel claustrophobic enough a lot of the time. It's obviously okay as brainless fun, but it doesn't really excel at anything, and the aliens simply aren't scary - their only advantage is numbers. Alien 3 is a better, certainly more interesting, film. There I said it.   

Agree with all of this. The extended version of Alien3 is possibly the best Alien film. It's more interesting and engaging than the original, which is a very well-made haunted house film, but not much more.

madhair60

Quote from: Bad Ambassador on June 22, 2020, 04:23:13 PM
Agree with all of this. The extended version of Alien3 is possibly the best Alien film. It's more interesting and engaging than the original, which is a very well-made haunted house film, but not much more.

never letting you pick the film

NoSleep

Name a "haunted house film" that Alien is similar to. Snakes On A Plane?

Shit Good Nose

Ghost Dad.  Cosby's finest hour (and 23mins), of course.

NoSleep

Do they stop by a passing planet to allow the ghost entry before continuing on their journey in the house?

Shit Good Nose

Yep.  And then Cosby talks about pudding and being unhappy about kids using bad language.  Unlike the xenomorph, though, Cosby wears them down just by being there ALL the time and doing "bits" about every single thing they do.

Oh, and he probs rapes one of the women whilst they're asleep, a bit like when that ghost give Ray a blowie in Ghostbusters.

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on June 22, 2020, 03:38:23 PM
Still do whenever I'm talking to someone who would get the "joke".

I never expected there to be an alien in a cube, though.  That's just silly.

Yea bozndov you TWAT

Replies From View

aliens are far-fetched enough already without expecting to find one in a cube


what can you still get in cubes these days


even in the early 90s i was like "the days of stuff being in cubes are long gone"


an alien in one?  in 1992?  pfff

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Replies From View on June 22, 2020, 06:12:11 PM
what can you still get in cubes these days

Stock.

Chicken, lamb, beef, pork, fish, veg.  I think there are also curry and Thai options available.

Replies From View

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on June 22, 2020, 06:17:52 PM
Stock.

Chicken, lamb, beef, pork, fish, veg.  I think there are also curry and Thai options available.

You think if they were so intent on making cube food "for stacking purposes" they'd make them compatible with other cubes, like ice cubes.  It's the simplest thing to get right, yet they can't be arsed.


There I've said ice cubes which is another thing you can get in cubes.  Now come up with some more thank you.

Shit Good Nose

A mediocre film series about people who get trapped in a big cube.  Called Cube.

The rapping artist Ice Cube.

Wasn't there a puzzle involving a cube in The Krypton Factor?

Dice are basically cubes.

You can ask your butcher to cut your meat into cubes.

Blumf

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on June 22, 2020, 06:17:52 PM
Stock.

Chicken, lamb, beef, pork, fish, veg.  I think there are also curry and Thai options available.

No molecular acid yet, though. Have to make your own stock for that!

Bad Ambassador

Quote from: NoSleep on June 22, 2020, 04:59:38 PM
Name a "haunted house film" that Alien is similar to. Snakes On A Plane?

Quote from: Roger EbertBasically just an intergalactic haunted house thriller set inside a spaceship.

It's not some kind of staggeringly avant garde opinion. By the writers' own admission, Alien is hugely derivative.

Alberon

Alien - near perfect sf/horror and looks great over forty years on.
Aliens - enjoyable action sf film.
Alien 3 - hated the way it pissed over the ending of Aliens and I've not watched it in this century.
Resurrection - preferred it to 3 at the time but also not seen it in ages.

Predator 1 - good final act, but nothing special.
Predator 2 - much prefer this sequel to the original.

AvP 1 - generic shite.
AvP 2 - not seen.

Prometheus - not really an alien film. Looks gorgeous, but the story is shite (Ridley can't write to save his life).
Covenant - a clear turn to doing an alien film junking all the interesting parts of Prometheus. Disappointing.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Bad Ambassador on June 22, 2020, 11:26:08 PM
It's not some kind of staggeringly avant garde opinion. By the writers' own admission, Alien is hugely derivative.

I don't know about that - I mean it's nowhere near De Palma territory in that sense.

NoSleep

Quote from: Bad Ambassador on June 22, 2020, 11:26:08 PM
It's not some kind of staggeringly avant garde opinion. By the writers' own admission, Alien is hugely derivative.

The biggest influence and direct predecessor was the alien in Dark Star (they even bothered to explain why it was onboard), also written by Dan O'Bannon. For Alien they took out the comedy and injected lots of horror. And the ship is the Narcissus, which probably gets its name from Joseph Conrad's dodgily-named novella about being stranded aboard a (sailing) ship.