Love Songs That Aren't Actually That Nice

[SteveDave]

"Always On My Mind" shuffled onto my iPod this morning and I realised that it's not actually that lovely of a song.

"Sorry love, I took you for granted but...I was thinking about you...honest"

I suppose "Just The Way You Are" is a bit like that too?

"Don't be coming at me with intelligent talking love...please stay thick"

Any others?

[DrGreggles]

Every Breath You Take apparently gets played at a lot of weddings.

[Auntie Beryl]

"You're Beautiful" - stalker's anthem.
"You're Gorgeous" - not a love song.

[Dr Rock]

The One I Love - REM

[famethrowa]

Got to be Jealous Guy. "Yeah I make you cry, I hurt you, sorry babe, but that's just what I do"

[Uncle TechTip]

Every Breath You Take apparently gets played at a lot of weddings.

Sing it through gritted teeth and it becomes enormously problematic.

[lazyhour]

The Beatles - We Can Work It Out

"Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talking 'til I can't go on?
While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone
We can work it out
We can work it out
Think of what you're saying
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright
Think of what I'm saying
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night"

Alright cunt - did it ever occur to you that *you* might be in the wrong?

[EOLAN]

Every Breath You Take apparently gets played at a lot of weddings.

I struggled to contain my laughter when "Tears in Heaven" played at my friend's wedding ceremony. Don't believe either family had any issues that inspired Clapton to write that song.

[Fr.Bigley]

I struggled to contain my laughter when "Tears in Heaven" played at my friend's wedding ceremony. Don't believe either family had any issues that inspired Clapton to write that song.

Was the Groom a Window cleaner?

[purlieu]

"I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love me" - a song of utter desperation by the Backstreet Boys.

[earl_sleek]

The One I Love - REM

Time for someone - this time me - to be the boring cunt who points out it was played at Peter Buck's wedding.

[Brundle-Fly]

Songs Of Love by The Divine Comedy is a bit incelly, isn't it? A friend got Neil Hannon to sing it as his wedding reception. (they were acquainted) Hannon dutifully obliged but did comment before launching into it that he was slightly bemused by the choice. "Have you listened to the lyrics, guys?"

[Jockice]

Just/Dub Be Good To Me.

Cheaters' charter.

[Brundle-Fly]

The Beatles - We Can Work It Out

"Try to see it my way
Do I have to keep on talking 'til I can't go on?
While you see it your way
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone
We can work it out
We can work it out
Think of what you're saying
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's alright
Think of what I'm saying
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night"

Alright cunt - did it ever occur to you that *you* might be in the wrong?

Conversely, I remember hearing Lauren Laverne introducing The Beatles' In My Life on her show as being the best pop song about reminiscing ever composed. Did she ever listen beyond the first verse? It seems to me to be about somebody trying to reassure an insecure partner with refreshing (but in my experience, ill-judged) candour.

There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone, and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead, and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I'll love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I'll love you more
In my life I'll love you more

[Barney Sloane]

The Beatles - Getting Better
"Darling, I haven't beaten the shit out of you for a while now. Progress!"

Ronan Keating - When You Say Nothing At All
"Darling, you know I'll always love you. But shut the fuck up anyway lest you jinx it."

[Barney Sloane]

Also, I seem to remember Neil Hannon singing Songs of Love at Glinner's nuptials. Think it was for the first dance, as well.

[pupshaw]

More Lennon

That boy
Took my love away
Though he'll regret it someday
But this boy wants you back again

That boy
Isn't good for you
Though he may want you, too
This boy wants you back again

Oh, and this boy would be happy
Just to love you, but oh my
That boy won't be happy
'Til he's seen you cry

This boy
Wouldn't mind the pain
Would always feel the same
If this boy gets you back again

[pupshaw]

And how about some Lennon...

Imagine I'm in love with you
It's easy 'cause I know
I've imagined I'm in love with you
Many, many, many times before
It's not like me to pretend
But I'll get you, I'll get you in the end
Yes I will, I'll get you in the end
Oh yeah, oh yeah

I think about you night and day
I need you and it's true
When I think about you I can say
I'm never, never, never, never blue
So I'm telling you my friend
That I'll get you, I'll get you in the end
Yes I will, I'll get you in the end
Oh yeah, oh yeah

Well, there's gonna be a time
When I'm gonna change your mind
So you might as well resign yourself to me, oh yea...

[Twonty Gostelow]

♫  Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
♫  I couldn't give a shit about whatever it was, I need a girlfriend

_{^{Back for Good - The Take Thats}}

[rue the polywhirl]

The Beatles - Getting Better
"Darling, I haven't beaten the shit out of you for a while now. Progress!"

Hmm... I'd only consider Getting Better very tangentially a love song and more by and large a 'general positivity song' or 'moving-on-up song'. Also it's very vague the verse that you're referring to - is it the same woman or a woman in a previous relationship. Isn't it better that John Lennon acknowledges his previous cruelty in his art?

[pupshaw]

Hmm... I'd only consider Getting Better very tangentially a love song and more by and large a 'general positivity song' or 'moving-on-up song'. Also it's very vague the verse that you're referring to - is it the same woman or a woman in a previous relationship. Isn't it better that John Lennon acknowledges his previous cruelty in his art?

It's a McCartney song though isn't it? And he does say "it's getting better, since you've been mine"

[Barney Sloane]

Hmm... I'd only consider Getting Better very tangentially a love song and more by and large a 'general positivity song' or 'moving-on-up song'. Also it's very vague the verse that you're referring to - is it the same woman or a woman in a previous relationship. Isn't it better that John Lennon acknowledges his previous cruelty in his art?

I've just read up a bit about it and I think you may have a point. I guess I always bumped into the 'beat my woman' verse because of the moving-on-up vibe of the rest of the song - my reading of it was a bit 'all violent cunts need to change is for the right person to come along'. Having just discovered that J & P contributed separate verses however, it makes more sense as something more complex.

[popcorn]

Groom a Window cleaner

Another problematic love song

[Puce Moment]

Roy Orbison I Drove all Night

I drove all night
to get to you
I got into the bed and raped you
Is that alright? I know I should ask before but I had driven all night after all

[jobotic]

The lyrics to In My Life are really sweet. That's the first time I've read them, don't even know the song.

Both The Bee Gees and Aaliyah say More Than a Woman like there's something wrong with being just a woman.

[Jockice]

The lyrics to In My Life are really sweet. That's the first time I've read them, don't even know the song.

Both The Bee Gees and Aaliyah say More Than a Woman like there's something wrong with being just a woman.

Same as The Commodores with Three Times A  Lady. Like there's something wrong with being one time a lady.

[Inspector Norse]

Lady in Red can be summed up as "you're ugly but you've scrubbed up well tonight, love".

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

"Escape (The Pina Colada Song)." Haha, we both despise each other and tried to have affairs with vapid yuppies but I guess we're stuck together in the end because we both like the same cocktail.

[SpiderChrist]

I Just Called To Say I Love You is a fucking horrible song. Not the sentiments, obviously, just the song.

[Icehaven]

I always mention this in these threads but You'll Never Stop Me From Loving You is even more stalkerish than Every Breath;

When I know that you're alone
I wander to your home
And catch a glimpse or two
It seems that all the time
The thought is on my mind
Of being with you

The times I've tried to see you
You know I would meet you
Any time, night or day
But still you just refuse
And no matter what you do
I'll never let you get away

But you'll never stop me from loving you
It doesn't really matter what you put me through
you'll never stop me from loving you
Oh, woh, you'll never stop me from loving you
Wherever you can go, I will follow you
you'll never stop me from loving you