Author Topic: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware  (Read 1337 times)

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« on: June 24, 2020, 07:46:44 PM »
I ordered her new album that had a chance to win and I won

Quote
Congratulations!!!

You have won a virtual meet & greet with Jessie Ware.

What do I say to her? "Do you like Ozric Tentacles?"

Absorb the anus burn

  • I'll serve raw potatoes at my summer party
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2020, 08:00:55 PM »
Virtual pie and pint?

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2020, 08:56:32 PM »
Ask her where it all went wrong after Domino?


Twonty Gostelow

  • Sent from my bum using Crapatalk
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2020, 09:09:00 PM »
What do I say to her? "Do you like Ozric Tentacles Leslie Grantham?"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2020, 09:24:14 PM »
Virtual pie and pint?

I first have to ask her political and cultural leanings. I believe she is a labour voter, though.

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2020, 09:31:24 PM »
I ordered her new album that had a chance to win and I won

What do I say to her? "Do you like Ozric Tentacles?"

"Loved you in Heaven 17!"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2020, 10:49:37 PM »
"Loved you in Heaven 17!"

Should i wear a baseball cap and talk conspiracy theories?

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2020, 09:02:21 AM »
I ordered her new album that had a chance to win and I won

What do I say to her? "Do you like Ozric Tentacles?"

Who are you?
Faves?
Worsties?
Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and just hang up.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2020, 09:20:33 AM »
Who are you?
Faves?
Worsties?
Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and just hang up.

or do a Five Starr?

Brundle-Fly

  • *Jooolie Andreeeews!! Thhhrrrrp!!!!*
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2020, 09:56:54 AM »
Ask her what her memories of growing up in Clapham, South London were like and did it in any way influence her tastes in music?




Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2020, 10:16:31 AM »
Who are you?

To be honest, that would be top of my list too.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2020, 10:48:35 AM »
quick, buy a copy of Richard Herring's emergency questions!

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2020, 10:58:16 AM »
Go two ways, either ask her the most banal questions you can think of or go heavy with deep questions about social economic issues.

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2020, 01:18:02 PM »
Go two ways, either ask her the most banal questions you can think of or go heavy with deep questions about social economic issues.


And make it a 'question' that never seems to go anywhere sprinkle it with a few 'it seems to me that' then at the end of the 5 minuets or so of semi-incoherent buzz word loaded word salad, end without an actual question, but makes it obvious you're getting her confused with Jess Glynne.

Sebastian Cobb

  • bad opinion haver
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2020, 02:06:52 PM »
I tend to mix her up with Holly Walker, who provides vocals for Maribou State sometimes.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2020, 02:15:49 PM »
To be honest, that would be top of my list too.

she's the new Sade, and I will tell her this gushingly

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #16 on: June 25, 2020, 02:16:11 PM »
I call BS.

Quote
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have won a ticket to the red carpet premiere of Mino10: Hircus, followed by an exclusive champagne dinner with star Jennifer Aniston.

See how easy it is?

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #17 on: June 25, 2020, 02:18:01 PM »
"What are the best crisps?"

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #18 on: June 25, 2020, 02:19:10 PM »
"What's your favourite Minotaur film?"

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #19 on: June 25, 2020, 02:27:14 PM »
she's the new Sade, and I will tell her this gushingly

Ooh, LOVELY!

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #20 on: June 25, 2020, 02:29:50 PM »
"My friends on a bald comedy forum applaud your choice of husband."

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #21 on: June 26, 2020, 12:09:48 AM »
Hello Jessie Where, are you a time lord?

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #22 on: June 26, 2020, 12:22:38 AM »
Who’s best: Robert Watson What, or the Blair Which?

FerriswheelBueller

  • CaB rear of the year 2020
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  • Take it easy, but take it.
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Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #23 on: June 26, 2020, 01:25:25 AM »
Hello Jessie Where, are you a time lord?

You’re thinking of Jessie When.

Literally no idea who this person is (and why you applied for this free album knowing you might be subject to this is beyond me so I suspect I’m being Boston Crab’d), but virtual pie and a pint, or asking ham hand/armpit suncream is probably best way to go.

Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #24 on: June 26, 2020, 01:33:49 AM »
Just ask:

"Am I too old to be buying your records and how do you feel about wild garlic?"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #25 on: June 26, 2020, 08:26:25 AM »
"What's your favourite Minotaur film?"

"Jen has sadly declined to appear in Minotaur 21ish...would you care to audition for the role of Mesmerelda?"

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #26 on: June 26, 2020, 08:29:10 AM »
You’re thinking of Jessie When.

Literally no idea who this person is (and why you applied for this free album knowing you might be subject to this is beyond me so I suspect I’m being Boston Crab’d), but virtual pie and a pint, or asking ham hand/armpit suncream is probably best way to go.

No, I bought the vinyl edition and because I bought it from her site I had a chance of winning this virtual meet and greet.

Turns out, the Congrats e-mail was just. a CONGRATS YOU'VE WON A CHANCE FOR THE MEET AND GREET.

Well, when I confirmed it said "good luck"...so I suspect this is not the success I had 'hoped' for.

Still happy to have had a phone conversation with Princess Superstar a few years ago, though, that was great.

BlodwynPig

  • The Last Living Member of COVID-20
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #27 on: June 26, 2020, 10:06:40 AM »
IT'S ON

Caveat: you have to use your phone, you have to install a new app, you have to chat in a waiting room with other fans (no doubt young dweebs), you get 1 minute with Jessie. Probably give it a miss...I'm too old for this.

Butchers Blind

  • I don't want the undertaker stealing my sins
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #28 on: June 26, 2020, 10:21:45 AM »
"Hi Jessy, any tips for sufferers of Phimosis?"

Twonty Gostelow

  • Sent from my bum using Crapatalk
Re: I've just won a virtual meet and greet with Jessie Ware
« Reply #29 on: June 26, 2020, 10:24:25 AM »
IT'S ON

Caveat: you have to use your phone, you have to install a new app, you have to chat in a waiting room with other fans (no doubt young dweebs), you get 1 minute with Jessie. Probably give it a miss...I'm too old for this.

Is this onlocationlive.com? There are other artists doing a similar thing and it's not exactly cheap. You have to get your 'selfie' with them done as soon as you can because of the 60-second time limit, which cuts off abruptly. Nice cash grab if you have hardcore fans.

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