Teengae Mutante Ninja Turtles

[Gregory Torso]

LEONARDO

  is the leader in blue!
he'll do anything for his amphibious raw sewer crew!
  He's got two big swords that'll cut anything in two
he lives in the toilet and he eats your poo

IT'S...











HEROES IN A HALF SHELL

TORTULE POWER!!

[Replies From View]

ninya mutand hero tuekls
ninka muend huor tuekle
ninta mootand her titels
herus in a hfv shal

tuerkl power!

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

With one other fellow, Raphael
He's the leader of the group!

[Replies From View]

[Gregory Torso]

DONATELLO

has a way with machines!
his weapon is a rubbish stick but he's still cool and mean!
be careful if you pick him up
because turtles can carry salmonella and other bacteria on their shells











TORTULE POWER

HERPES ON THE HARD SHOULDER

[PlanktonSideburns]

This has caught me off guard and has me roaring

[Gregory Torso]

RAPHAEL

Don't call him Ralph
He's liable to punch you in the mouth!
He's a tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurtle
with two big forks!
He's a tayurtle with a rude attitude and he is DRUNK
he is drunk on cock
in the sewers
Raphael











HERO IS IN A HARD SHELL

TORTISE OF POWER ASSEMBLE

[Gregory Torso]

MICHELANGELO

He's one of a kind! You know where to find him when its party TIME!
he can hook you up with anything, crack, meth, heroin
When Shredder attacks he cowers in the corner like a teeny tiny terrapin!
He carries nunchucks which are diffcult to draw
he crawls around on the toilet floor!










TEEN AGUE MUTANTE SEWER CHILDREN

FROM HEREON IN ITS HARDCORE

TINY AND GREEN AND INFECTIOUS AND CRAWLING
ALWAYS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR A FUCKING SWEDGE

TEENGAE MUTANT MINIATURE TORTILES


TURTLE POWERS

[Ferris]

missed u greg

[idunnosomename]

Mikeo looks like he has got angry at a very simple barbed-wire fence

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

I'll have you know Raphael has a girlfriend and she's a space lizard from beyond the stars who's probably too old for him now that I think about it

and also now that I think about it I'm p sure he got cucked by Slash

cos she made this big deal about staying on earth but then was like "oh, no, I don't want to move in with you and your brothers I'll stay with the mighty mutanimals" and then she's never seen again

sitting on a clutch of Slash's eggs

[idunnosomename]

i forgot about the tortle named after having a wee

[Replies From View]

[Replies From View]

[Bazooka]

Mr Colin Splinter the shrew, 49 years old

Took good care of his turtle sons, because their real parents just couldn't be bothered to have anything to do with them. Taught them how to fight, drive, make pizza and chips for tea, spy on women through the drains.

He is harsh but fair, they can eat pizza and chips every meal, but then have to do sit ups and swim breaststroke straight after so they get ripped abs and glutes, needed for killing thugs.

[Bazooka]

Simon "Shredder" Fitzpatrick, 53 years old
Divorced
Favourite food: fish sticks and salad cream

He finds the turtles to be a real nuisance, just wants them dead and buried.

[Replies From View]

i wonder if he will get his wish come true

[Replies From View]

let's see if these motherfuckers in a half shell can do some steve reich style phasing

[Replies From View]

I wonder where the other half of their shells are.

[kittens]

OENK Hello Kids we're Beepbop and Rocksteddy. a pair of big bloody buggers! one of us is a pig and the other a rhinolike character. we're here to cause troubel to those damned tortoises and their best friend the Big Rat. Our Daddy is shredster, the pink guts creature from space. we do whatever he says because hge gives us dog food!! sadly we are quite silly and bad at our jobs, but if you give us a chance, we may be able to find a way into your hearet.
With love,



Beenbot , Rockusten

[Replies From View]

q) what happen when you crossbreed a ninja with a mutant

a) a ninkant

[Bazooka]

The turtle lads are lactose intolerant, which is why they live in the sewers, as it doesn't matter if they squirt everywhere after eating papa John's pizzas all day.

[Mr Farenheit]